


Drinking Games

by emilyevanston



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Daddy Kink, Double Penetration, Drinking, F/M, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Miscarriage, Multi, Oral Sex, Pregnancy, Smut, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-09 13:19:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 56,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13482318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/emilyevanston
Summary: After a drunken hook up you, Chris and Sebastian explore a relationship together.  What starts as just you seeing two different men soon becomes a deep love between three people.





	1. Drinking Games

It had been a wild night.  You’d gone out to drinking with your friends.  There seemed to be so many of you, to begin with.  The party had moved back to Chris’ place sometime after midnight.  Slowly the numbers depleted and now there were just three of you.  You, Sebastian and Chris.  Sitting on the floor.  Their shirts and your dress discarded, drinking tequila shots. **  
**

You were sitting between them, propped up against Seb and facing Chris.  Your legs were wrapped around Chris’ waist.  How did this happen?  These guys were your friends.

You pick up the salt and go to shake it onto your hand.  Chris grabs your wrist.

“Oh no!  I didn’t take my shirt off for no reason.”  Chris scolds you.  

You take a breath and reach forward drawing a line of salt over the lettering of his clavicle tattoo.  Sebastian hands you a shot glass filled with tequila and Chris places a wedge of lime between his teeth.

Sebastian has started trailing his fingers over your abdomen.  It makes you shiver, and heat fills your cunt.  You lean forward and lick the line of salt off Chris’ tatt.  A soft hum escapes his lips.  You down the tequila quickly and Chris leans his face towards you.  You hope that this time he’ll let the lime go, but he doesn’t and you bite down on the sour fruit letting the juice fill your mouth.

“My turn!”  Sebastian chirps.

You hand him the salt and he moves your hair to one side and tilts your head.  He pours a stripe of salt along your neck as Chris pours him a shot.  Your cunt tingles in anticipation of what’s about to happen, and you pick up a wedge of lime and hold it between your teeth.

Sebastian’s tongue touches your skin and you shudder.  He licks a stripe up your neck.  That should be the end of it but his lips press down on your skin and he sucks on your throat briefly before pulling away.  He drinks the shot and you lean back towards him.  

‘Drop the lime.  Drop the lime.’  You chant over and over in your head as Sebastian’s mouth comes toward yours.  His lips part and you let go of the fruit.  It’s like he expected it because his tongue is in your mouth as soon as your lips make contact.  He kisses you hungrily his hand bunching in your hair.  He tastes like salt and the warmth of the alcohol.

Sebastian releases you from the kiss and you turn back to Chris.  His blue eyes have darkened as he assesses you.  He brings his hand forward and runs his thumb over one of your nipples.  It hardens under his touch.

“I think Chris would like you to take off your bra,”  Sebastian says.

You nod and reach behind your back, unhooking the garment and slide it down your arms, before tossing it toward the pile of already discarded clothing.

Sebastian’s hand goes to your throat and he pulls you back against him your head resting on his shoulder.  Chris draws a line of salt just over your left areola.  You don’t even bother with the lime.  Instead, Sebastian takes a piece of the fruit and squeezes it over your lips.  Painting them with the juice and letting the liquid pool in the valley where they meet.

Chris’ tongue slides over the salt and circles over your nipple. He sucks the hardened peak into his mouth.  As he pulls his head back his teeth press down, dragging over it as he releases your breast from his mouth.  He downs his shot and his mouth is on yours.  His kiss is full of heat and passion.  His tongue slides over yours, and his teeth graze over your bottom lip.

Sebastian’s hands slide down your stomach and into your panties.  He spreads your folds with his fingers.  You’re already so wet and eager for them that his fingers move effortlessly up and down your folds.

Chris pulls away from you and as you go to chase his mouth Sebastian’s takes its place.  His kiss is softer and you moan into it as his fingers toy with your clit.

Chris stands and steps away from you.  You want to care, but you’re so wrapped up in what Sebastian is doing to you, how close he is to bringing you to orgasm, you just can’t.

Sebastian’s free hand bunches in your hair and he suddenly pulls you away from him and turns you to face Chris.  He is standing, watching you and Sebastian.  He’s taken his pants off, and he’s slowly stroking his cock.  

Sebastian’s mouth is up against your ear.  You can feel his hot breath on you and it makes you shiver.  “Why don’t you suck his cock?”  He breathes.  

“Can I?”  You whisper.  Chris chuckles but doesn’t say anything.  

“Maybe you should ask him.  He likes it when you beg though.”  Sebastian answers.  

You get on your hands and knees and crawl towards Chris.  You kneel in front of him and look up.  Chris cups your cheek and runs his thumb over your lips.  Your mouth opens and a shudder goes through you, making your breathing ragged.

“Hey, baby girl. What do you need?”  Chris asks pushing his thumb into your mouth.  You close your lips around it, sucking on it with your eyes closed.

Sebastian has come up behind you.  He has the salt and tequila and he puts it down next you then pushes your legs apart so you’re kneeling with your legs slightly spread.  He kneels behind you his mouth hovering near your ear.

“Beg him.”  He whispers, his hand traveling down your stomach again. He draws circles over your skin, teasing you.  Your cunt is aching for him.  Dripping for him.

“Please, Chris.  Can you please let me suck your cock.  I really want it in my mouth.”  You plead as he strokes his thumb over your jaw.  Just saying the words have made your body feel like it’s about to burst into flame.  You are filled with liquid heat and it pools in your core.  Your skin prickles and you just want relief from this torturous need.

“Of course, baby girl.”  Chris croons.

You lick your lips and reach for him.  You tease your fingers up his length and as you take his cock into your mouth, Sebastian’s hands slip under the waistband of your panties and return to your pussy.  

As you suck and roll your tongue along Chris’ length, Sebastian circles his fingers over your clit and pushes a finger into your cunt, curling it inside you.

“Look how much Chris is enjoying your mouth,”  Sebastian whispers in your ear.  “You two should have been doing this much earlier.  What were you waiting for?  Look at what you do to him.”  

Between his words and his fingers, you can feel yourself coming apart.  You release Chris’ cock from your mouth and pump it with your hand.  You flatten your tongue and lap it over his balls, sucking one into your mouth.  You watch Chris’ face.  He is focused on you, but his breath is coming in shallow.  He moans and his hands fist in your hair.  

A second finger joins the one inside you.  You whimper and moan before taking Chris’ cock back into your mouth, pushing his length as far down your throat as you can.  

Sebastian reaches for the salt and after moving your hair to the side he pours some on your shoulder.  He swipes his tongue along the salt and kisses down along your back.  You feel the cold press of the mouth of the tequila bottle on your back and a slow trickle of liquid runs down your skin into Sebastian’s waiting mouth.  His tongue laps up the liquid and you squirm under him.

Chris’ hand goes to your jaw and he pulls away, dropping to his knees in front of you.  Sebastian strokes his fingers along Chris’ jaw.  It’s a tender but very brief moment that surprises you a little, but before you can even acknowledge that it happened Chris’ mouth is on yours.  You kiss and he palms your breast.  His other hand joins Sebastian’s at your cunt and as he presses on your clit, Sebastian swirls his fingers inside you, pressing on your g-spot.  

Your orgasm builds and then crashes down on you.  You wonder briefly if maybe you can die from coming too hard. It feels like you’re being torn apart between these two men.  You spasm and clench and gush around their hands.

They removed their hands from your pussy and Sebastian takes Chris’, sucking on one finger with a lustful groan.  

Chris kisses along your jaw toward your ear.  His tongue circles over your earlobe, and he presses his lips to it.  “I think Seb is feeling left out.  You should get on all fours and spread for him.”  He breathes.

Chris gets up and moves away from you.  Leaving the room completely.  You get on all fours, your legs spread.  Sebastian’s hands slide down your spine.   

“You have a mole right here,”  Sebastian says, grazing his teeth over a spot on your shoulder.  “And here.”  He repeats the process on the small of your back.  “They’re very hot.”

You whimper.  “Please, Sebastian.”

“What is it, honey?”  Sebastian purrs.

“I need you.  Please fuck me.”  You plead.  

Sebastian strokes his hand down your back again.  His fingers slip back between your folds and he strokes them up and down.  “You just need to be patient for a little longer, baby girl.”  

He unfastens his pants and drops them, pressing his cock against your waiting cunt.  Chris returns and throws something to Sebastian.  He catches it and when you hear a crinkle you realize that it’s a condom.  

Chris kneels in front of you.  “Thirsty?”  He asks.

You nod and Chris holds a bottle of water to your lips.  He tilts it and you drink deeply.  When he pulls the bottle away you kiss again, and Sebastian enters you.

Chris sits back up on his knees, and you start nuzzling at his crotch again.  Running your nose up the length of his cock.  

“You wanna suck my cock again, baby girl?”  Chris asks.

“Yes, please.”  You whine.

“Of course.”  Chris purrs.

You take him in your mouth and try to match the pace of your mouth to the thrusts of Sebastian into you.  Chris picks up the bottle of tequila and pours some in a line down your back.  Sebastian laps it up and then grabs Chris by the back of the head and pulls him into a kiss.  You release Chris’ cock from your mouth and watch them, pumping your fist up and down Chris’ length.  It is such an intimate and erotic moment, it makes your cunt clench.  It also surprises you.  You’ve been friends with these men for so long now, and you never had any idea.  Maybe this is a new development for them too.  It is the first time either of them had fucked you after all.

You return your mouth to Chris’ cock and start deep throating him.  Going from pushing him deep into the back of your throat, while you roll your tongue around his shaft, to sucking just on the head.  Chris starts to rock his hips, building a new rhythm that is asynchronous to the one you’re providing.

Sebastian digs his fingers into your hips as his thrusts pick up speed and force.  You clench your pelvic floor around him, helping the two of you closer and closer to orgasm.  Sebastian starts panting.  A low moan rises from deep in his throat.  

Sebastian’s fingers grip tighter, marking your flesh.  He slams into you and with a grunt he comes, pulsing inside you.  He pulls out and places a kiss in the middle of your back.  Chris is panting under your ministrations.

“Roll over, let Chris finish inside your amazing pussy.  He’d really like that.”  Sebastian whispers in your ear.  

You moan releasing Chris from your mouth and rolling onto your back.  Sebastian kisses Chris again, just briefly, and leaves the room.  You assume to dispose of the condom.  Chris moves between your legs.  He tears open a condom packet and sheathes himself, stroking his cock as he kneels between your legs.  

“Fuck, Chris.”  You whimper, squirming under him.  The anticipation is killing you. 

“Okay, baby girl.  It’s coming.  When I’m done though, I want to eat you out.  I want you to come for me in my mouth like you did before around our hands.”  He purrs, sliding his cock up and down your fold.  Pressing the head against your clit.

You moan thrusting your hips upwards.  He enters you, and you clench your walls around his cock.  Sebastian returns and sits cross-legged next to you.  He takes the tequila and pours some into your belly button.  It makes you giggle, and you smack his ass.  

“Easy now, princess.”  He laughs, stroking his hand through your hair.  He leans down and sucks the liquid from your skin, you buck underneath him.

Sebastian takes your leg and lifts it onto Chris’ shoulder.  He grabs Chris by the back of the head and pulls him into another kiss.  This time you watch them closely.  Your hands clutch uselessly at the carpet and you writhe under Chris.  All your muscles clench.  Sebastian’s hand slides down Chris’ chest flicking over his nipples.  Chris starts moaning into Sebastian’s mouth.  Sebastian’s hand moves lower.  He strokes over Chris’ shaft as he thrusts into you, and presses on your clit.  You groan, arching your back off the ground.  

Chris’ face tenses and his eyes glaze over.  The tendons in his neck pull taut and Seb starts sucking on his neck as Chris’ hips buck and he comes with a grunt.  

He pulls out suddenly and shifts back onto his hands and knees, plunging his face into your cunt.  He flattens his tongue and swipes it up your folds and presses down on your clit.  Two fingers are pushed into your cunt and he scissors them inside you, his knuckles grinding against your g-spot.  

Sebastian lies down beside you, propping himself up on his elbow.  He draws circles over your breasts with his fingers and leans in and kisses you.  His lips softly caress yours.  It’s surprisingly tender, and you hum.  He places small kisses along your jaw and nibbles on your earlobe.

“You should let yourself go, baby.”  Sebastian purrs.  “You know you want to.  Come for him.  Come all over his face.  It’s what he wants.”

You whimper and your hips buck.  Sebastian starts palming your breast as Chris nibbles on your clit.  A third finger joins the other two and he curls them inside you, raking them along your g-spot.  You feel full and your senses are in overdrive.  It feels like molten metal is swirling through your core.

You moan and writhe.  You clutch desperately at Sebastian with one hand and Chris’ hair with the other.  “Oh fuck, yes. Fuck, Chris.  That’s it.”  You chant, as your orgasm builds and hovers, threatening to tear you apart.

“That’s it.  Come for Chris.”  Seb orders.

His words tip you over and you come.  Gushing into Chris’ mouth.  He laps you up, drinking in as much as he can.  

When he sits up he gestures to Sebastian.  “Come taste her.”  He says.

They kiss and you sit up and watch as their tongues dance with each other.  Chris pulls away and grabs you by the back of the neck pulling you into a kiss.  You suck on his bottom lip tasting a mixture of the sweet, acidic taste of you mixed with that woody warmth of tequila.  

When you break apart Chris runs his thumb over your jaw.  “We should go shower.”  He said.  “You’re both sleeping over.  We have drunk way too much, and I’m not letting either of you drive.”

You all get up.  Sebastian wraps his arm around your waist and kisses your cheek.  

After the shower, Chris offers you a clean henley to sleep in.  You put it on and stand staring at the bed.  Chris pulls a notepad and pen out of the bedside table and gestures to you both to come sit with him.

You watch as he writes a note.

> _Hey guys.  Yes, you’re waking up together because you thought chasing beer with tequila was a great idea.  Yes you fucked.  It was good.  Maybe instead of being embarrassed about it tomorrow you can do it again.  You know you’ve all been trying to lie to yourselves about how you’ve felt for a while now._

He signs his name and you giggle.  Seb takes the pen and signs his name too, before handing it to you.  You hastily scrawl your own name.  

Seb grabs you and drags you back into the bed blowing a raspberry on your neck.  You squeal, and Chris dives on you too, peppering kisses down your throat.  The silliness eases off, and you lie, tangled together, and drift off to sleep.


	2. What You Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up in bed with Chris and Sebastian, you try and piece together what happened the night before, while trying to work out what each of you wants now.

You wake feeling like death. Your mouth feels tacky and your head feels like it had been split open and haphazardly stuck back together. Someone is draped over you and you can hear them softly snoring. Slowly you pry your eyes open.

It’s Chris. Okay. So you slept with Chris Evans. Could be worse. Lots of people might be jealous of that. Would be a little awkward for a while, sure, but at least you guys were relatively close and you hadn’t just hooked up with some random stranger.

Nausea takes hold of you and you struggled to free yourself from Chris. That’s when you noticed that Chris wasn’t the only one in the bed. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. You’ll deal with that later. Vomit first.

You dash into Chris’ bathroom and fall to the floor in front of the toilet, heaving over the bowl. There’s a shuffling behind you and hands go to your hair, pulling it back from your face. A warm hand is placed on the middle of your back.

You finally stop throwing up, and just sit there panting.

“You okay?” A soft male voice says. It was Sebastian. Fucking hell. This was a fucking mess. You want to believe nothing happened. That you all just fell into bed and slept because you were obviously fucking wasted. But you’re in one of Chris’ endless supply of Henleys so you obviously at least got naked.

You reach up and flush the toilet and Sebastian helps you to your feet.

“I don’t think I am. No.” You say rubbing your hand down your face.

Chris appears in front of you with a glass of water and a bottle of pills. You hold out your hand and he shakes two tablets into your palm. You take the glass, swallow the pills and down the water in one go.

“I found you a spare toothbrush. It’s on the sink.” Chris says.

Both men leave you alone in the bathroom. You freshen up, brushing your teeth. You notice you don’t have makeup on. So you got ready for bed. Maybe nothing happened after all.

You return to the bedroom. Chris and Seb are sitting on the edge of the bed talking. They look over to you.

“Did we?” You ask gesturing between you and Chris.

“Oh yeah, we did,” Chris says grinning.

“And we?” You gesture to Sebastian. He nods his head.

You slouch over to the bed and collapse face down on the mattress.

Sebastian strokes his hand over your ass and you wave his hand away and pull the shirt down to cover yourself.

Chris puts a piece of paper in front of you. “We left ourselves a note.” He says.

You read it, scrunch it up and throw it across the bed. “Drunk me is a dumb slut.”

“What’s the problem? We had a good time. We like each other. You don’t have to feel bad about this.” Chris says. He sounds like he’s trying to reassure you, but he’s also annoyed.

“Yeah, well … you’re a dumb slut too.”

Sebastian lies down next to you and you face each other, looking into each other’s eyes. “Why don’t you go have a shower. We can talk when you’re feeling more yourself.”

You get back up, and Chris stands.

“Where do you think you’re going?” You ask narrowing your eyes at him.

“To get a towel for you.” He takes a step closer to you and runs his fingers up your arm. “Why do you have something else in mind?”

You swallow and your cunt tingles. You curse your body for its betrayal and you shove him. “This isn’t funny, Chris.”

“I’m not trying to make a joke out of it. I want you, y/n.” He says, looking down at you.

You swallow again and take a step back from him. He can’t be serious.

“Chris, leave her be. Let her get her head straight before you start letching onto her.” Sebastian snaps.

Chris turns on him rolling his eyes. “You know she’s just trying to lie to herself about what she really wants.”

“Chris. Come on, man …” Sebastian says, exasperated.

Chris throws his arms into the air and leaves the room.

Sebastian gets up and approaches you. “You’re gonna be okay. You know? No one has to know if you don’t want them to.”

You bridge the distance between the two of you and press your head against his chest. He wraps his arms around you. “I’ll know.”

“Is that the end of the world? We love you. How long have we been friends? Like six years? This is literally the first time you’ve been single at the same time as either of us.”

“So what? We’re all single and that means it’s gangbang time? Sebastian …” You groan.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Chris comes back through the door, he tosses a pile of towels on the bed and your clothes and then huffs out of the room again.

“Have a shower. Clear your head. We can talk this out. See what we all want.” Sebastian says and leaves you to yourself.

You go hop into the shower and just stand under the water letting it roll over you. Visions of last night start returning to you. Licking salt off Chris’ collarbone. Sebastian fingering you while you suck Chris’ cock. Sebastian fucking you. Chris going down on you. You moan, and your fingers slip between your folds.

You start rolling your fingers over your clit, spreading that warm prickling feeling out from your cunt to the rest of you. Your thoughts linger on the taste of their skin and their sensation of their hands on your body. You bite your lip and slowly let your teeth rake over it.

“Fuck. Stop it.” You curse yourself pulling your hand away from your pussy.

You get out of the water and towel yourself off. You pick your panties up off the bed and they are still soaking. Whatever you guys did last night, you must have liked it a lot. You sigh and decide you’re going to steal a pair of Chris’ boxers. He has such a small waist they’ll probably fit you. Maybe be a little on the snug side even. You put your bra on while you head into his expansive walk-in closet. How can a guy who dresses almost exclusively like a lumberjack need this much fucking closet space?

After trying a few drawers, you finally find one with underwear and you grab a pair of boxers and pull them on. On the way out of the closet, you decide to take one of Chris’ plaid shirts. It’s a purple one. You’ve always liked it, and fuck it. You earned it.

You pull on your dress and put the shirt on over it, tying it in a knot at the front. You wander down the hall and find Chris and Sebastian in the kitchen talking. Chris is cooking something greasy, while Sebastian seems to be putting coffee on. They both turn to look at you.

“Stealing my clothes?” Chris asks. “You my girlfriend now?”

“Haha, very funny.” You snark.

“Y/N, don’t you remember anything from last night?” Sebastian asks.

You sit down at the kitchen bench. “I remember we came back here. And you were kind of buzzing around me like you do. Chris kept looking at me. Then I saw there was a lime tree in your neighbor’s yard.”

Chris laughs, touching his chest. “You climbed the fence and filled your skirt with limes. Then you couldn’t get back over. I had to come and lift you.”

“Then I don’t know where everyone else went. Why did everyone leave us alone?” You ask.

“I think it was partially that it was two in the morning and you were suggesting tequila shots, and partially people could tell.” Chris answers.

You groan burying your head in your arms. “They could tell that the three of us were gonna fuck?”

Sebastian puts a cup of coffee in front of you and comes around rubbing your back. “No. Not that exactly. Just maybe we needed space to …” He trails off. “Before when I said that you had never been single at the same time as either of us. I didn’t mean that it would be inevitable that we’d do what we did. There’s just always been kind of a thing – between us. Don’t you think? Maybe if you and I had been single at the same time earlier we might have dated. Or same for Chris?”

“Maybe.” You answer, looking between them. Then the memory of them kissing each other fills your head. Not just kissing either. Like really going for it, tongues battling, hands to faces, kissing. You point from Sebastian to Chris. “You kissed. You guys, while you were fucking me, you kissed each other.”

Sebastian rubs his hands through his hair. “Yeah. About that …”

“Seb is …”

“No, it’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything.” You interrupt. “No, wait. Yes, you do … Have you guys done that before? And by that I mean any of it, kissed each other, fucked a girl together. Are you together in any way?”

Chris shakes his head and serves up the eggs and bacon he’s been cooking with toast and slides a plate in front of you. You pick up your fork and push the food around the plate.

“Seb … we … I …” Chris mutters, not quite sure how to proceed.

“Short answer is no. We have never done that before, and no we’re not together.” Sebastian interjects. “Long answer is, we have known how we have both felt about you for a while. We’ve suspected how you’ve felt about us. We’ve talked about lots of various scenarios involving you, from one of us dating you and the other stepping back, all the way to what would happen if you got pregnant and you didn’t know which of us was the father.”

You grimace. “That’s really gross.”

Sebastian shrugs, unfazed. “As for him and I. I get handsy when I’m drunk and I’m kind of into people more than gender. Chris … isn’t into guys exactly. He just tolerates it from me.”

“Tolerates is kind of a harsh word. I don’t just put up with it, Seb.” Chris says.

“No. I know. It’s just the best word I can think of to describe it. You don’t exactly invite me to feel you up.”

Chris laughs.

“So we were cutting up lime and then we did some shots. I remember that. I remember we were kind of dancing …” You say, scrunching up your face.

“You were grinding on us, you mean?” Chris says, raising his eyebrow.

You put your head on your arms again and groan.

“Does it really matter how it happened? It happened.” Chris asks coming around to you and sitting next to you.

“Easy for you to say. You didn’t let two of your friends finger cuff you.” You groan rolling your head to face him.

“Let? Pretty sure you begged for that.” Chris says slowly stroking his finger along your cheek. “In fact, my memory is that you started all of it. You dropped that piece of lime so Sebastian would kiss you.”

His finger touches over your lip, and you want nothing more than to suck on it. Instead, you jump to your feet. “Fuck you, Chris. Don’t ever call me again.” You spin a little too fast, and it makes your head swim thanks to the hangover you’re still sporting. You stagger forward and Chris catches your arm.

“Hey, just stop. Stop thinking about how it happened. Stop acting like you hated it and we forced you into it. You know us. We aren’t those people.” Chris pleads.

You turn to face him, and then collapse, letting him catch you against his chest. You start crying. You aren’t even sure where that level of sadness is coming from, but it takes you over and you just sob against his chest. Sebastian steps up behind you and wraps his arms around you from behind.

“Shh… Hey now. Why don’t you just tell us what’s wrong? Why are you so upset?” Sebastian soothes.

You take a deep, shuddering breath. “What happens now? How can I just go back to looking at you like friends? How do I start a new relationship with someone else knowing I did that?”

Chris tilts your head up to face him. “Who says we want you starting a relationship with anyone other than us?”

He leans into you and his lips meet yours. You resist, not wanting to just give into him. You need him to know how unrealistic this is. Sebastian nuzzles against your neck and when his mouth presses against your skin, you give in completely.

Your mouth opens and Chris’ tongue pushes in, sliding over your top lip.

You suddenly pull away and he looks at you frustrated. “You have morning breath.”

He laughs and both men let you go. “We should go shower,” Chris says to Sebastian. “Want to join us?” He says to you raising his eyebrow.

“No.” You answer.

Chris grins at you and kisses your cheek before heading back to the bedroom.

“Please don’t freak out and leave, okay? I know you’re still not – there – with all this. But you should really stay until you’ve figured out where you are.” Sebastian says.

“Does he want you to shower with him?” You asked ignoring his statement.

Sebastian laughed. “No. I don’t think so. Maybe if you’d said yes.”

He leaves you standing alone in the kitchen. You tidy away the mostly uneaten food and then head down to Chris’ bedroom. You make the bed, and lie down on top of it. You’re still not sure what to do. You’re not even sure what they want from you. Just more sex? Can you keep doing that? You know that Chris has been talking about wanting to start a family, how could he just want random hook-ups with you?

You close your eyes and the image of you on you back, Chris between your legs, his fingers working inside you, lapping your cunt fills your mind. Sebastian was whispering to you to let go. That’s all Chris wanted, for you to let go. Your hand goes to your crotch without you even realizing it, and you start rubbing your pubic mound through your skirt.

You bunch the material up and slide your hand into your underwear. His underwear. You roll your fingers over your clit as you think about Chris’ tongue and Sebastian’s filthy words. You push a finger into your cunt and withdraw it smearing your fluids over your folds. You put pressure on your clit and start quickly rubbing your index finger over it. That hot pressure starts to build in your gut and the hair on your scalp prickles as an orgasm builds.

“Fuck, Chris.” You moan, your thoughts still on his fingers pressed against your g-spot.

“What? Did you need some help?”

Your eyes snap open. “Fuck, Chris!” You yelp, pulling your hand free and scrambling back up the bed.

“Come on. You had to know you were going to get caught.” Chris says. He’s wearing a towel around his waist and using another one to dry his hair. “Nice underwear by the way. Gonna take half my closet home with you?”

“Why would you stand there watching? That’s fucking creepy.” You say.

He comes and sits at the end of the bed. “I didn’t. I walked out and you called my name. You’re the one flicking the bean in my bedroom, creeper.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You whine. “Chris. Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

Chris lies down on the bed and gestures for you to lie next to him. You scoot down and put your head on his shoulder. He’s a little damp from the shower still, but you kind of don’t care. He’s warm and he smells amazing.

He runs his fingers through your hair and tilts your face up to look at him. “Let me tell you a story.” He says. “Once there were these three people, they met on the set of a movie. Two of them were actors, the other was a Production Assistant. The PA worked for the director so luckily she was always around because the actors both thought she was really cool and kind of cute.”

There was a knock on the bedroom door. “Can I come in?” Sebastian called through the door. He must have used the main bathroom.

“Yeah, come in.” Chris called back.

Seb opens the door and just stands there looking at you both. He’d gotten dressed again. “What’s going on?”

“Just telling her a story.” Chris answers. “Come lie down with us.”

Sebastian comes and lies down beside you both and spoons himself against your back.

“The two actors both had ideas about asking the PA out but she was seeing this other guy.”

“A complete asshole,” Sebastian adds.

“Yeah, this complete asshole.” Chris agrees. “So instead they agreed to just be friends.

“A few times a year the PA and one or both of the actors would work on a film together. She was good at her job, and the actors would often recommend her to people looking for a PA. They also liked having her on set. Sometimes she’d even be one of their PA if they needed one. They always stayed friends.

“She eventually broke up with the asshole, but when she did both the actors were seeing other girls, so nothing happened between them. She started dating again and the actors broke up with the people they were seeing. And so it went. If she was single they were seeing people. If one of them were single she was seeing someone.”

“Did the actors still like the girl? Even when she was seeing other people or they were?” You ask.

“Yes. They tried not to think about it too much. It didn’t look like anything would happen. So they just put those thoughts aside. Maybe when they were single they might think about her and hope she’d be single soon. Or they might think about her when they were alone at night.

“Then by miracle all three of them were single at once. Only it kind of wasn’t a miracle because when one of the actors found out he called the other one, and told him he was interested in asking her out. The other actor said he wanted to do that, too. So they talked about it. They talked about how long they’d been wanting to ask her out. What they liked about her. Who deserved her more. They then started talking about maybe both of them dating her. Not in a kinky way. Just maybe if she went on a few dates with each of them she could decide who she liked more. Then things did get kinky. There were talks of sharing her in bed. Having a kinky little family that they had to hide from the press. Even about what they’d do if one of them accidentally knocked her up but no one knew who it was. Which admittedly, was weird to talk about.”

“What did they decide?” You ask.

“That it would be up to her what she wanted to do. That kind of answers a couple of what they’d decide questions actually. They decided to invite her and a bunch of their other mutual friends out drinking. They’d each flirt with her and see who she responded to most. So that’s what they did. One of the actors tried to be subtle. He was a bit scared to be honest. So he mostly just watched her and looked for openings to talk when she was alone. The other kind of just buzzed around her all night.

“Unfortunately neither of them could tell who she liked more. She was responding to both of them. She returned looks and touches. She leaned in close when they talked. She even seemed to start seeking out touches herself. Dancing with them, cuddling up to them on the couch, coming up and hugging each of them from behind. So the actors spoke to each other. They said maybe they needed to be more direct. Just ask her out. But she’d been drinking so maybe they’d missed their chance tonight.

“So they’d just let her be. She didn’t seem to want to let them be though. She suggested a drinking game. They joined in. She would take each shot while grinding up against one or the other. One of the actors got bold. When she poured salt on her hand, he grabbed it and licked it off. She laughed and suggested they play the game where you lick the salt off each other and you have to bite the lime out of each other’s mouth.

“That’s what they did. She took her dress off, and the actors took their shirts off. They sat on the floor, wrapped around each other and the game turned to sex. They had fun. Lots of fun. But they were very drunk and even though they’d written a note saying they’d had fun the PA woke up and she was scared. What do you think she was scared of?” Chris finishes, looking down at you.

“She’s scared that she’s lost both her friends. She’s scared that after this neither of them will respect her. She’s scared that if they look at her differently then she won’t respect herself either. She’s scared this has made her a different person. One she doesn’t like.” You answer.

“Oh, baby.” Chris coos. He presses his lips to your temple.

“We’re not going to look at you differently. We’ve been carrying these torches for you for so long now.” Sebastian says. “Besides we were there too. We were part of it. Wouldn’t it be hypocritical of us to look down on you for doing something with us?”

You roll to face him. “Maybe, but guys do it all the time. You do the things they want you to do and you’re a slut. That’s how this works isn’t it?”

“Not for me,” Sebastian says and he leans in and kisses you. It’s soft and tender and your lips just part a little. Just enough that you’re able to catch his bottom lip and suck on it as he pulls away.

“I need to know what you both want from me. You’re talking like you want me to be your girlfriend. I can’t be both of your girlfriend, can I? That’s … that’s not how this works. Especially not for people in the public eye.”

“That’s really up to you,”  Chris says.  "We just want you.  What do you want?“

You roll your eyes and roll onto your back.  "Yeah right.  Let’s be poly then.  We’ll all move in here.  I’ll have both your kids.  First time I get pregnant you’ll both just come inside me and it will be this big surprise when the babies born!  Whose will it be?  No one knows.  Next time we’ll make sure we balance it out so you each get your own kid.”  You scoff.

Chris’ fingers run along your scalp.  "So, you don’t want to go down that path.  Maybe you can date each of us for a while and you’ll naturally figure out what you want.  I promise if it’s Sebastian I’ll step aside and we can still be friends.“

You give a derisive laugh. "Yeah, of course, you will.  No hard feelings, man. You won’t even let me leave your house.”

“If that’s what you really want; go,” Chris says. When you make no move to leave he pulls you a little more tightly against him. “I didn’t think so.”

“Y/N. What do you want?” Sebastian asks. “Like seriously, think about it. If you need to go home and do that alone. Do it.”

“I just want to stay in this bed forever.” You answer, one hand sliding up Chris’ chest tangling in his chest hair, the other moving up Sebastian’s thigh.

Chris leans over you and runs the point of his nose up your throat. You hum, tilting back away from him. “So, for now, we stay here. We work out later when later happens.”

Your lips part slightly and you shiver as you take a quick, shallow breath. You turn your head to Sebastian and he places his hand on your cheek, his thumb slowly strokes down your jaw and he pulls you towards him. Your lips connect, and that’s it for you. This is happening and you no longer want anything else.

Chris starts kissing along your throat, his beard tickling your skin. Your hand clutches at his chest, trying to find purchase. Chris pushes you so you’re on your side, pressed into Sebastian. You wrap your leg over Seb’s hip and Chris grinds against your ass. His towel has fallen away and his cock is only separated from you by the material of his underwear that you’re wearing. You pull away from Seb and lean back. Chris’ mouth finds yours. He holds you by the throat as you dance your tongues together.

Sebastian kisses down along your neck to your chest. He palms your breast and pinches your nipple through your dress.

“This really needs to come off.” He complains, tugging at the neckline of your dress.

You pull away from Chris laughing and sit up. Chris unties the front of the shirt you’re wearing and slides it down your arms.  “I’ll be taking this back.”  He says.

Sebastian grabs the hem of your skirt and pulls it up over your head throwing it behind him. Chris’ hands slide up your back and unhook your bra. He slowly slides it down your arms, his touch making goose pimples prick your skin.

Sebastian dives onto your breast. He draws a circle over your nipple with the point of his tongue and sucks it into his mouth. Chris takes Sebastian’s hand and guides it down into your underwear. Chris uses his finger to push Sebastian’s down on your clit. The two of them move their fingers against you, pinching and massaging them against your clit.

Chris’ other hand goes to Seb’s face and he strokes along the scruff on his jaw. Sebastian looks up and the hungry, slightly scared look in his eye makes your heart break for him.

“Chris?” He breathes.

Chris guides Sebastian’s face towards him and leans over your shoulder. They kiss and you shudder, leaning back into Chris. Chris turns his face to yours and just as you fall into a rhythm, your tongue moving against his, Sebastian takes his place. You start to moan, and your hips grind against their hands.

Chris moves Sebastian’s away from your clit and together they each push a finger into your cunt. You gasp, breaking your kiss with Sebastian, your eyes closing and your head falling back. Your hands move up Seb’s legs, and you stroke his bulge through his jeans. Chris is kissing down the back of your neck. Heat is building in your core. That pleasant tingle spreads from your cunt out and you know you’re close.

“Oh, fuck.” You breathe, as it crests. Threatening to take you over.

Chris pulls both his and Sebastian’s hands away and lifts you throwing you on your back. He frantically pulls your underwear from you, throwing them away and dives down between your legs.  He plunges two fingers inside of you and flattening his tongue he laps up your folds. He moves frantically against you, his fingers rolling along the ridges in your cunt, his knuckles grinding against your g-spot. Your back arches off the mattress and you look desperately to Sebastian. Like he can somehow help you survive this orgasm that you’re quite sure will rip you in two when it breaks.

Sebastian has climbed off the bed and is removing his clothes. He drags his t-shirt over his head and notices your face. “It’s okay, baby girl. Come for him. I’m watching.” He turns to Chris as he unbuckles his belt. “You may want to hold her legs, man. She’s gonna break your neck.”

Chris chuckles and he wraps an arm around your thigh, holding it tightly in place. He pushes against your g-spot and sucks your clit into his mouth, grazing his teeth on it. Your whole body tenses and you come. You cry out incoherently and the leg Chris is not holding, kicks out involuntarily as you gush onto Chris’ face. Chris drinks down what he can, lapping at you as your orgasm quakes through you.

He crawls up between your legs and starts kissing your stomach. “Fuck. You. Taste. Amazing.” He says each word punctuated with his lips on your skin. You’re panting and your legs tremble. “I’ve never been with a chick that squirted that easily. You’re incredible.” He purrs.

Sebastian has climbed back into the bed and he’s sitting on his knees stroking his cock and looking like he’s not quite sure where he belongs right now. You reach over to him and take his hand pulling him to you. He shuffles over and when he’s finally close enough you take his cock in your hand. You slide his foreskin back and circle the point of your tongue over its head. Gradually you start moving your mouth up and down on his cock. Each time you take him a little further down the back of your throat.

Chris reaches into the nightstand and pulls out a condom, he sheaths himself and guides his length into your cunt. As he fucks you, he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and biting at the hardened peak.

You suck along Sebastian’s shaft, taking him deep into the back of your throat. His hips start rocking against you as he fucks your mouth. He starts moaning and Chris looks up. Sebastian rests a hand on the back of Chris’ head and bunches his hand in his hair. Chris starts kissing up along your throat and when he reaches your chin he moves to the base of Sebastian’s cock. His tongue darts out and he swipes it over Sebastian’s balls.

“Fuck, Chris.” Seb moans.

Chris ran his tongue over the base of Sebastian’s shaft.  He’s hesitant like he’s overthinking everything he’s doing.  You release Seb’s cock from your mouth and kiss Chris over Sebastian’s shaft.  Sebastian pulls back away from you suddenly, and you fall forward. Chris does too and bumps heads with you. You both start laughing.

“Can we try something?” Sebastian asks.

Chris’ thrusting slows and he stills inside of you as you both look to Sebastian.

“Baby girl, do you think you can take us both?” He asks.

You swallow hard. “I’ve never done anal.”

Seb cups your cheek. “I didn’t mean anal.”

You shudder. “Chris, do you have lube?”

Chris raises an eyebrow and sits up, his cock slipping from your cunt. “Of course.”

“I can try.” You say looking to Seb. Seb kisses you, his tongue traces along the corner of your mouth.

Chris gets up and rummages in his nightstand and pulls out a bottle of lube and he tosses a condom to Seb. You watch as Sebastian sheaths his cock. Rolling the rubber down his length.

You stand and take the lube from Chris, squirting some into your hand. You roll your hand over Chris’ cock, mixing the viscous substance with your fluids already coating Chris’ cock. He lifts you sliding you down on his member. You hum and wrap your arms around his neck kissing him, biting his lower lip. You start to rock up and down against him.

Sebastian comes up behind you both. His tongue runs up your spine and bites you gently on the back of the neck. He grabs the lube, liberally coating his cock. He takes his lube-slick fingers and rubs them up and down your perineum, massaging the area. You start to moan as he circles his finger over and around your anus, and you nuzzle your face into Chris’ neck. His fingers slide back down towards your cunt, and pushes one into you, sliding up against Chris cock. Chris moans as Sebastian’s finger moves in and out.

He removes his hand and adds more lube then once again massages along your perineum. Relaxing your muscles in preparation for his cock. He pushes two fingers inside of you this time, and slowly, paying close attention to the way your body responds, how you clench and relax around them he separates them inside of you, stretching you out.

“What do you think, baby? You ready?” He growls.

“Mm-hmm.” You reply.

You feel Sebastian’s cock press against the opening to your cunt. Chris groans loudly as the pressure on your entrance increases. There is a burning sting as you stretch to accommodate both of them.

“Slowly, Seb.” You whimper, your lips pressed against Chris’ neck.

“Of course, baby girl.” He assures you as he slowly pushes against you. “Just relax.”

You take a deep breath, and he slowly eases in. Chris’ fingers dig into your thighs. “Fuck.” He groans.

You reach one arm around Sebastian’s neck and he kisses your throat as he fills you. The stretching of your hymen burns, but the full up feeling inside of you feels amazing. “That’s it, baby girl. We’re both inside of you. How are you doing?” He asks.

“Good.” You squeak.

They start to move inside of you. Sebastian leans towards Chris and they kiss. You watch as their tongues move against each other. It creates an ache in your core so deep and full of need that any pain that you were feeling is washed away. You just want this. Here. Now.

You let go.

You each moan and chant each other’s names as you’re bounced between them. Mouths move from one person’s lips to another’s like the kiss you’re sharing is a living organism that needs to be passed on. Your orgasm builds quickly and breaks explosively. You curse, crying out as your cunt clenches around both of them. Your orgasm sets Chris’ off and he jerks suddenly, slamming his hips into yours and spilling inside of you.

The pressure inside you changes, and as he pulls out, and before your first orgasm has really even ended another tears through you.

“Fuck. Oh god! Please!” You cry your hands balling into fists.

When Chris pulls out, Sebastian does too, setting you on your feet. Your legs tremble and you stumble to the bed, sitting on the edge.

Chris climbs up behind you and sits, cradling you. Sebastian rolls the condom off and throws it in the trash can by the bed before approaching you. You open your mouth and tilt your head up. Sebastian pushes his cock past your waiting lips, and you close them around his shaft. He cups your jaw with his hands and starts thrusting into you, his cock hitting the back of your throat. Chris leans past you, and laps at Sebastian’s balls. It doesn’t take much, Sebastian groans, his cock slams into your throat and he comes. You drink him down as his cock pulses against your tongue.

He pulls away from you and leans in and kisses you. Chris wraps his arms around you from behind. You feel safe and loved. Where earlier you had felt used and afraid.

“You okay, baby girl?” Sebastian asks straightening himself up.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk for a week.” You say, curling yourself into Chris. “My legs feel like jelly.”

“I’m glad you stayed,” Chris says softly, kissing your neck. “I want to run you a bath. So you can relax. Will you let me do that?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Chris untangles himself from you and grabbing his underwear from the floor he pulls them back on before hurrying down the hall. You fall back onto the bed and curl up on your side. Sebastian lies down next to you spooning you from behind.

“Whatever you choose to do now. Don’t be afraid to tell us what you want. Whatever that is. Maybe we’ll say no. But you could have said no to this. But you didn’t. And I’m so glad you didn’t.”

“Okay. I don’t feel as scared anymore. I still don’t know though. I think we aren’t thinking straight at all.” You say.

“That’s probably true. But you want what you want.”


	3. Exactly What You Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been two weeks since the night you got drunk and had sex with Chris and Sebastian. You finally make a decision about where your relationship is headed.

“Can you please stop following me around like a lost puppy?”  You groan.

It had been two weeks since you had had drunken sex with Chris and Sebastian.  Two weeks since they’d told you they loved you and each of them wanted to be with you.  Two weeks since they’d said the ball was in your court.  Two weeks and you hadn’t decided shit.

You didn’t know what to do.  These guys were your friends.  You kind of liked them both.  No… more than kind of.  They were both hot and sweet and dorky.  Hot.  So very hot.  You couldn’t decide.  You were frozen in indecision.

Now they were both doing this thing where they floated around waiting for you to choose.  

Maybe if you could stop having sex with them it might be easier to decide.  That might help.

Too bad it was so fucking good.

Sebastian lay down on the couch his head in your lap.  He’d shown up out of the blue and obviously had something to say.  He just wouldn’t say it.  

“I’m not being a lost puppy.”  He says rolling onto his back and looking up at you.

You lift up his grey t-shirt and rub his stomach.  “No of course not.  Good puppy.”

He reaches up and strokes his fingers down your cheek.  “This has been hurting you hasn’t it?”  He asks.

Oh shit.  You’re going to cry.  You shove Sebastian’s head off your lap and storm out of the room.  You aren’t mad at him.  He’s been nothing but patient and kind to you about this.  You just hate feeling weak.

You slam your bedroom door and break down into tears.  Throwing yourself on the bed you just let it out.  You keep looking at all the options and there is no way this is going to work out for any of you.  Either you ruin some friendships or you choose both of them and you fuck up their lives.  

Sebastian slinks into your room.  He stands at the door just looking at you.  “Babe?”  You don’t reply just bury your face in your pillow. “Are you mad at me?”

You shake your head and he comes over and lies down next to you.  He drapes an arm over you and you shift, allowing him to wrap both his arms around you.  You rest your head on his bicep as he holds you.  

Sebastian’s phone makes a ting sound and he pulls it out of his pocket and looks at it before putting it away again.  “Chris is coming.”  He says.

“Why?”  You ask.  You’re annoyed.  You hate Sebastian seeing you like this.  At least he’s patient enough to handle it.  Anytime you get upset about this in front of Chris, he acts like you’re doing it to piss him off.

“We need to sort this out.  You can’t keep torturing yourself because you’re too scared to make a choice.”  Sebastian says.

You roll over and face him.  “Stop being so fucking nice to me all the time.”  You say.

He tucks your hair behind your ear and wipes your tears away with his thumb.  “Sorry.”  He says. “I know this isn’t you.  I hate we put you in this situation.  You know I love you right?  Like love love.”

You shake your head.  “I don’t know how that is even possible.  I’m not anyone.”

He laughs.  “You’re exactly who you need to be.”  He kissed your forehead.  You lean up, your lips parted.

He strokes his thumb along your jaw.  “Is this what you want?”  

“I think so.”  You answer.

His lips meet yours and you kiss slowly.  Deeply.  His tongue just briefly runs over your top lip.  Other than that it’s a slow, gentle dance of your lips against each other.  

You stay locked together until your lips go numb and you find it hard to breathe.  Even then you don’t stop.  He tastes like iced coffee and caramel until he doesn’t anymore and he just tastes like Sebastian.  

Your bedroom door opens and you look up startled.  

Chris looks at you scowling.  “So the decision’s been made?”  He asks.

You shake your head.  Chris sighs and leans up against the wall.  He is wearing a white henley and jeans and he has his maple leafs baseball cap pulled low over his eyes.  “If you want Sebastian just say so.  It’s fine.”  He says.

“Oh yeah, it’s that easy, Chris.”  You snap.  “Ignoring the fact that I don’t know, you’re standing there being a jealous bitch because Seb and I are making out.  What if I choose him, huh?  I know you.  You’ll stop talking to either of us.”

“I’m friends with exes.  I can move on.”  Chris says.  There is real hurt with his words.  You want to pull them back into you.  

You sit up on the bed and beckon him over to you.  He comes and sits down in front of you.  “I’m sorry.  I know you can.  I just … I don’t know.  I don’t know what to do.  I wish none of that had ever happened.  I want to go back to us all just being friends.”  

“Do you?”  Chris asks.

You look down at your hands.  “No.”

Sebastian puts his head in your lap again and you run your fingers through his hair. “Tell us what you really want.  If this was a world where there was no wrong decision.  Anything you chose to do would be the right thing to do with no negative consequences for anyone.”  He says.  

“What’s the point though?  Don’t you get it?  This is the opposite.  Every choice I make here is wrong.  I hate that I’m the one who has to make the decision.  I wish one or both of you would see that I’m not worth any of this so it wasn’t up to me anymore.”

“Babe,”  Chris sighs,  “Six years.  Six years I’ve known you.  Six years I’ve been waiting for you to see me.  I will take whatever you give me.  Just say it.”

You heart physically hurts.  You swallow and look from Sebastian to Chris and then down at your hands.  “I can’t.”

“What if we all write down what we want.  We say what our perfect world scenario is, what we can live with, and what would break our hearts?”  Sebastian suggests.  

“Okay.”  You get up and got to your desk.  After a little digging around in a drawer, you find a notepad and some pens.  You tear off some sheets and hand them to Chris and Sebastian and the three of you start writing.  When you’re all done the guys hand you what they wrote.

“You read them out,”  Sebastian says.

You pick us Sebastian’s first.  “In my ideal world, it would be all three of us.”  You read.  “I know Chris doesn’t see me like I see him, but the thought of the three of us together makes me happy in a way that I can’t describe.”  You stop reading and look at Seb and it feels like your heart is about to break for him.  “Oh, Seb…”  You say and you reach out to him.  He hugs you but briefly and pulls away.  

“Keep reading.”  He says.  Chris pats him on the shoulder.

You look back to the paper.  “I would also be happy if y/n just chose me.  I love her.  I want to be with her.  I could live with her choosing Chris if that made her happy.  I want both of them to be happy.  It would break my heart if Y/N chose neither of us.”

You put the paper down and pick up Chris’.  “I want to be with y/n.  Just the two of us would be best.  If I can’t have that I’ll take sharing with Seb.  If I have to I’ll step back. It would break my heart but I can move on.”

You put his paper down and pick up yours.  “I want both of you.”  You read.  “If I can’t have both, I’ll have neither because I can’t decide and the decision is killing me.”

“So it’s both then,”  Chris says.

You shake your head.  “That’s ideal world, Chris.  This isn’t an ideal world.  You can’t …”

“Shouldn’t I get to decide what I can and can’t do with my personal life?”  He starts stalking towards you.

“Chris, you’re a fucking famous actor.  You don’t think it would be harmful for your career if we did this and it got out?”  You ask.

Chris starts to nuzzle at your neck.  “I couldn’t give a fuck.”  He growls.

“Chris, you want to have kids.”  You whine.

“You don’t want kids?”  He asks, his hands sliding up your legs.  

You push him and jump out of bed.  “Stop it!  Stop trying to fuck me instead of acknowledging the issues here!”  You yell.

Chris looks up at you startled.  “You said you wanted both of us.”  

“I do.  Can’t you just maybe acknowledge that there is no fucking way this can work?”  You snap.

Sebastian stands and wraps his arms around you and you melt into him. “We can figure it out.”  He soothes.

“How?  How do we figure this out?”  

“What if, we have a public life and a personal life?”  Sebastian suggests.  “To begin with we just see how it goes?  The three of us.  We don’t tell people.  We just are.  We can go out and do stuff.  We’ve done that in the past.  People will just think we’re friends.  If people start assuming things, we can spin it that you’re with one of us and not the other.  I know I don’t care if people think you’re only with Chris.  As long as at home I know you’re mine.”

“And what if we get serious?  You don’t want to get married?  Have kids?”  You ask.

“Those are both things I’ve always thought might happen.  I like kids.  I’m not like Chris though who seems to have an imperative need for them.”  Sebastian says.

“So Mr Imperative Need?”  You say, looking at Chris.

“I want to get married.  I’ll forgo for you.  I guess if you don’t want kids at all maybe this might not work.  That’s a big one for me.  Do you really not want them?”  He asks.

You groan.  “I want them.”

“So?  What exactly is the problem?”  He asks.

You flop, face down on the bed.  “Seriously?  You don’t see what might be the problem with one woman and two men having kids in the public eye?  You’re seriously okay with not acknowledging your own children in public because one of you might need to be the secret husband?”

“That’s a long way off, babe,”  Chris says.  He starts rubbing your shoulders.  Kneading out the knots in your muscles.

“See that just makes it sound like you think this won’t work.  If it won’t work then what’s the point?” You let out a moan as he pushes out one particularly tight tension knot you’ve been holding in your neck for the last two weeks.

“That isn’t what I meant.  I meant that that might be something we figure out when we get to it. Maybe by then, we don’t give a shit about what people think about us.  Maybe we retire?  Some things just need to be faced when you reach them.”  Chris says.

“I’m not worth this.”  You whisper.  You don’t want them to argue with you.

Sebastian lies so his face is up close to you.  His breath mixing with yours.  “I love you.”  He says.  His fingers go to your cheek and he pushes them into your hair.  “You are worth it.  You both are.  Can you please just open your heart to that possibility?”

“Sebastian…”  You whisper.

“Sweetheart. All these problems you keep going over and over, you realize that they’re our problems?  You have never once brought up one that affects you?  Why don’t you want to try this?”  Sebastian asks.

“I love you guys.  I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want to lose you.”  You say.

“You’re not going to lose us,”  Chris says.

“You can’t promise that.  No one can promise that.”  You shrug them both off you and crawl into the middle of the bed.  “The problem is, I feel I’ve already done it.  Like at this point it’s all or nothing.  If I go all and it implodes it could destroy you guys.  If I chose nothing, then I’ve lost you and I’ve lost a bit of me too.”

Sebastian and Chris move, lying down on each side of you and engulf you in their large arms.  Chris holds you from behind his face buried in your hair.  Sebastian holds you against his chest and rests his chin on the top of your head.  Nothing has ever felt so good, or right to you in your life and you know, as much as you keep trying to stop this it’s going to happen.  Even if you say no, you won’t really mean it and you’ll just be back in their arms tomorrow beating yourself up about it.

“Are you worried about what your family and friends will think?”  Sebastian asks.

You shake your head.  “Not really.  A little.  They’ll accept my choices and bitch about me behind my back.  That’s what they always do.  I’m more worried about yours.”

“See there it is again.  We want this.  Let us worry about that.”  Chris says.  He starts to nuzzle against your neck.

You don’t say anything for the longest time.  They just hold you.  Chris continues to nuzzle your throat.  Just using his cheek and nose to gently caress your skin.  Sebastian’s fingers trail up and down your side.  Neither try to rush you or turn this into sex despite the fact you can feel Chris’ cock harden against you.  They just let you think.  Come to this on your own.

“Okay.”  You say, breaking the silence.  Chris jumps like you’ve startled him.

“Fuck, I thought you’d fallen asleep.”  He says.  “Scared the shit out of me.”

You start laughing.  

“Okay?”  Sebastian asks.

“Okay, we can try this.  I’m still not convinced it will work. I will try very hard to let it though.”  You say.  “I love you both.  I really do.  I can’t believe you both love me enough to want this though.”

“Believe it,”  Sebastian says and his mouth is on yours.  This time he doesn’t hold back. It’s tongues and teeth and passion.  You pull away for air and Chris takes over devouring you.

“Thank Christ that’s over,”  Chris says breaking the kiss.  “How are you feeling?”

“Good.  Lighter. Fuck that was weighing me down.”  You say and it’s true.  Just making this decision, good or bad was exactly what you needed.  “Also, your dick is pressing into my ass.”

Chris chuckles.  “That’s because he loves it in there.”  

You elbow him and he rolls onto his back laughing.

Sebastian leans into you again, his hand going to the back of your head.  You kiss, wrapping your body around his.  Your arms around his shoulders and your leg hooked over his hip, pulling his hips so they’re pressed into yours.  

Chris shifts behind you.  His hands slide up under your t-shirt and he kisses the back of your neck.  “Are we going to do the sex now?” He teases.

“Do the sex now?”  You laugh breaking the kiss with Sebastian and twisting to look at him.  “I thought you were supposed to be all romantic, Chris.”

“I’ll buy you flowers after.”  He says, and his mouth is on yours. You give him a playful smack and he grabs your hand pinning it behind your back.  You moan into his mouth.

Sebastian pushes your t-shirt up.  He palms at your breasts, squeezing them.  You grind your hips into him, rubbing against his growing erection.

Chris grabs hold of you, rolling you over so you’re lying against him between his legs.  He lifts your shirt up over your head. Sebastian moves between your legs and hastily unfastens your shorts.  He drags both them and your panties down in one go, tossing them aside.  He grabs your ankles and lifts them, moving them so they’re hooked over Chris’ legs.

Chris unhooks your bra, sliding it down your arms.  He moves your hair from your neck and as his lips meet the skin of your neck, Sebastian’s touch on the inside of your thigh.  

You moan.  Your eyes falling closed and your head rolling back onto Chris’ shoulder.  Sebastian trails the point of his tongue up towards your cunt.  He spreads your folds and laps up your pussy in a broad swipe focusing it into a point on your clit and swirling it over the tiny nub.

Chris’ hand goes to your face and he tilts your head up to him and he starts to kiss you.  His tongue traces your lips and dips into your mouth.  His other hand teases your nipples.  He rolls his thumb over them, pinches them, flicks his fingers over them.  

All the while Sebastian is lapping at your cunt.  He pushes his middle finger inside of you.  You start to come apart.   Your whole body is responding to them.  Your nerves feel like they’re on fire.

You grab Chris’ thighs and one of your hands meets one of Sebastian’s.  You link your fingers together and Chris places a hand on top of both of yours.  Sebastian pushes a second finger inside of you.  He drags them over your inner walls hitting your g-spot.  You jerk violently and Chris holds grabs hold of your legs.  You cry out and press your face into Chris’ neck as you come.  Gushing onto Sebastian.

Sebastian gets on his knees and wipes his face.  “Holy shit.  I can’t believe how wet you get.”

“Yeah, well; so’s your face.”  You tease.

“Awww… my girlfriend thinks she’s a comedian.”  He leans forward and kisses you softly.  “You need a drink after that?”

You nod and he jumps up and darts out of the room.  

Chris rubs your arms.  “Let me up.”  He says.  You shift forward and he stands pulling his henley over his head.  You stand and run your fingers up his back, kissing his shoulder.  He turns to face you, looking down at you.  You gaze up into his blue eyes as you fumble at his belt.  You get it open and pull it off when Sebastian comes back into the room.  

He offers you a glass and you take it draining the whole thing.  Between the crying and the coming, your were quite dehydrated.  

While your drinking Chris drops his pants.  When you put the glass down, he goes to push you back onto the bed but you spin him, pushing him backwards.  He falls back onto the mattress and you straddle him.  You run your tongue up his chest and over the tattoo on his collarbone as you rock your hips against his cock.  Sebastian comes up behind you and opens your side table drawer.  He pulls out a condom from the box and hands you one, kissing your forehead as he does.  

“I love you, Seb.”  You say.  He lingers and brings his lips to yours with a hum.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of hearing that.  I love you too.”  He says.

You look back at Chris.  Tearing the condom open, you take his cock in your hand and stroke it slowly up and down.  “I love you too.”  You say, rolling the condom down his length.  

“Ew, don’t say it with my dick in your hand.”  He says, flipping you both over.  He enters you and you gasp clutching at the sheets.

“Oh fuck, Chris.”  You moan as he thrusts into you.  

He brings his mouth to your ear and teases your earlobe with his tongue. It sends a shiver running through you.  “I love you too.”  He whispers.  “Now watch, Seb.”

You turn your head to face Sebastian and watch as he undresses.  Chris continues to thrust into you, rolling his hips with every lunge.  Chris sucks on your neck and his hand snakes between you.  You feel your orgasm building again.  Sebastian finally removes all his clothes and he heads back to the side table.  You watch as he takes out a condom and sheathes himself.

You feel you orgasm poised ready to break.  Sebastian comes up behind Chris and runs his hand up Chris’ back.  He keeps moving against you and just when you’re sure it’s going to happen you’re about to come, he stands pulling out of you.

You whine, rubbing your legs together.  Sebastian runs his hand up Chris’ arm and Chris pulls him into a kiss.  It wet and passionate.  When Chris pulls away, Sebastian sways for a second blinking his eyes and then turns to you.  A playful smile creeps across his lips.  

You scramble back onto the bed and he catches your ankle.  “Where are you off to, baby girl?”  

He stalks up onto the bed and flips you.  He positions himself between your legs and enters you.  As he thrusts into you, he wraps his arm around your waist and fingers your clit.  His face comes up behind your ear.  “You want to come this time, baby?  I know Chris left you hanging.”  

“Yes.  Oh god.  Please, Sebastian.”  You whimper.

“Watch, Chris.”  He whispers.  “I’ll let you if he thinks it’s okay.”

You keep your eyes on Chris.  He’s slowly stroking his cock as he watches you.  You feel your orgasm returning.  “Please, Chris.”  You plead.  He shakes his head and Sebastian pulls out of you.  

They continue to switch one to the other.  Always stopping just before you come.  It becomes torture.  You beg with them, plead with them for release.  Positions change constantly but never to one you have any power in.  Finally after what feels like forever Chris pulls out of you and Sebastian pulls you so you’re sitting up.

“I think she’s earned it.”  He says stroking his hand down your face.

“Please, Chris. I need it.”  You beg.

Chris nods and Sebastian sits on the side of the bed.  You climb into his lap, slowly lowering yourself down onto his cock.  You start to ride him frantically.  Desperate to come.

Chris removes his condom throwing it in the trash and positions himself on the bed so his cock is within your reach.  You take it in your mouth, sucking up and down his length.  You need to come.  Need them to come with you.  

Sebastian looks up at Chris.  “Can I?” He asks.  Chris looks down at him and strokes his hand along Sebastian’s jaw.  He nods.  

Sebastian’s mouth joins yours.  You move together.  Kiss along his length.  All the while fucking each other.  Chris’ hips jerk suddenly and his spills into your mouth.  You swallow all of it and release him from your mouth.  Sebastian grabs you by the back of the head pull your mouth to his.  His tongue probes inside, tasting you.

As you kiss you let yourself go, coming apart around him.  You groan loudly your whole body tensing up.  It sets Sebastian over and he empties inside of you.

You slide off his lap and collapse onto the bed.  Your whole body feels weak.  Chris bounces onto the mattress and flops so he’s lying half on top of you.

“Too heavy.”  You groan.  

He kisses your cheek and rolls onto his side his arm draped over you.  Sebastian joins you both snuggling up on your other side.  

“How you doing there?”  He asks.  

You sigh.  “Really good.  I feel good for the first time since this happened.”  You reply.  He kisses your cheek.

“I’m glad.”  He says.  

You close your eyes and just listen to them breathing for a minute.  You’ll get up in a minute and shower.  It’s still early.  Right now though, this is exactly what you need.


	4. Alone and Together in LA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend one last week alone with both Chris and Sebastian before you head to Boston to meet Chris’ family. On the last day, you give them a gift.

“Okay.  So I did something, and now I’m really embarrassed.”

Chris and Sebastian are sitting in the living room of Chris’ LA house.  Each of them reclining back on the couch drinking a beer.  They crane their heads to look at you as you stand in the doorway wrapped in a robe.

The relationship between the three of you had been going for about four months now.  It wasn’t always smooth.  There was no rule book you could find about how to do this.  

In a lot of ways, it was just completely exhausting.  You were never alone anymore.  Sometimes one or the other would be off doing other things.  Press, work, going to visit family.  But they never did it at the same time.  If you were away with work, one or both of them would tag along.  

One time Sebastian hired you as his PA.  That ended up being awkward.  It was hard to separate the things he was asking you to do as his girlfriend from the things he was asking you to do as his employer.  You’d flip-flop between wanting to tell him to go do it himself or flat out feeling like you were being paid to have sex with him.

The worst bit was being secret.  You’d been the secret girlfriend before.  You had sworn never again.  It made you feel like shit feeling like you were not good enough to be acknowledged.  But here you were with two guys neither of which would admit to being with you.  Not to anyone.  At least that was more because of each other than you, but still, it hurt from time to time when you’d be at a party and you’d see Chris or Sebastian flirting with someone else and you had to just pretend you were okay with it.

Other than those things you actually liked it.  Alone with them, either together or individually you sometimes felt like you were the most important person in the world.  There were moments, where you felt actually worshiped.   Even in the most mundane moments though, you felt happy and loved.  Watching TV with your head resting in the crook of Seb’s arm and your feet in Chris’ lap while he absentmindedly rubbed them.  Cooking.   Going out and catching a movie.  Just being home and hanging out.  These things were all better with them there.

That’s not even mentioning the sex.  Most of the time it was just one or the other.  You weren’t constantly having threesomes.  In fact most of the time, spending time together meant you and Chris or you and Sebastian.  They weren’t dating each other as well, being the three of you was done for your benefit more than theirs.  

Sex with Sebastian was often fun and playful.  He was attentive to you, but he didn’t take it seriously.  You could laugh and be silly. Use his dick like a microphone or have conversations with it.  He’d do things like just place it on your shoulder while you were watching TV.  He liked to be surprised while he was doing other things.  Blowjobs while he was taking work calls.  Coming up behind him and sliding your hand in his pants while he was doing the dishes.

When you both did take it seriously, he was loving and attentive.  His hands touching you everywhere, your bodies pressed close together.  Your eyes locked.  He liked to kiss you everywhere and you liked kissing him.  

Chris, on the other hand, was aggressive.  Not mean.  Just sex was more a sport with him and he was competing to win.  He was still a little obsessed with making you squirt and he’d go down on you until you were dehydrated and your voice was raw from coming again and again.  On the other extreme, he liked to tease you and edge you.  Make you beg him for release.  With Chris when you came it was usually hard and exhausting.  

You often found yourself forcing him onto his back and riding him just to get back into control again.  Though sometimes you felt like that might have been his plan all along.

When you did have sex together, all rules went out the window.  You had no idea what to expect.  They liked to play games and they seemed to organize them without you.  Thankfully the games seemed to revolve around getting you off.  

You were for the most part quite happy.  To the point that both Sebastian and Chris now wanted to introduce you to their family.  None of you were quite ready to go ‘Hey we’re poly’ to anyone yet.  Just that they wanted their family to know they were serious about someone and that someone was you.

You knew Scott.  Though he didn’t know you were Chris’ girlfriend.   You had a feeling he thought something was up, but maybe that Chris just liked you a lot.  He would often just say things to you like ‘Chris really likes you, ya know?’  Or ‘you and Chris would make a really good couple.’  

You had also very recently been introduced to Sebastian’s dad.  While Chris had been at Disney with his family you and Sebastian had spent the week together.  He stayed at your place and you took him to hang out with your family.  They actually did know both Chris and Seb because you’d been friends for so long, but you wanted to take him there as your boyfriend even if you didn’t say that’s who he was.  He had taken you to meet his dad.  It wasn’t a long meeting, just lunch, but it had gone well.  Seb had said you were his girlfriend.  You didn’t come out feeling like he hated you, which was something at least.  

Now that Christmas was coming up they had both wanted to take you home to meet their families.  It had taken a lot of negotiation but the final result was that you’d spend the week leading up to Christmas with Chris and his family and then on Christmas day you’d fly to New York and spend Christmas night with Sebastian and his mom and the rest of the week with Sebastian in his New York apartment.  Chris would meet you both to spend New Year’s in New York at the end of the week.

This week though, you had decided to spend together in LA.  Just the three of you.  It had been really nice.  The three of you had literally just holed up in Chris’ apartment.  Rarely going out.  There was the odd Christmas party here and there.  Or maybe you’d catch a movie, but it really was the three of you.  You and your boys.  The week was wrapping up and you thought you’d give them a present.  Now you’d gotten this far, you were over thinking like crazy.

“What did you do?  Did you shave your pubes into a lightning bolt?”  Sebastian asks.

You burst out laughing.  “No.  But now I kinda want to.”

“Oh let me do it to you,”  Chris said.

You pull a face.  “If you think I’m letting you anywhere near my vag with a razor you’re kidding yourself, Evans.”

“What did you do then?”  He asks.

“Don’t laugh.  It’s supposed to be sexy.”  You say.

Both Sebastian and Chris put their beers on the coffee table and then turn sitting on their knees and looking at you over the back of the couch.  

You fiddle with the tie on your robe, not quite being able to look either of them in the eye.  

“Aww.  Come on, princess.  Show us.”  Sebastian coaxes.

You pull the cord on your robe and drop it to the floor revealing your lingerie.  Well, sort of lingerie.  It’s a red and black thong and a giant red bow.

Sebastian and Chris move as one, both getting up and circling around the side of the couch.  Each of them stands over you looking down.  

“What a beautiful present.  Which one of us gets to unwrap it?”  Chris purrs.  

“You have to share.”  You say, looking up at them.  

Sebastian runs a finger along your skin where it touches the ribbon, dipping it into your cleavage.  “I dunno if we should open it yet, Chris.  It’s not Christmas.”

“Oh, okay then.  Never mind.”  You say and spin around, walking towards the bedroom.  

Sebastian grabs you from behind, lifting you off the floor.  “Changed my mind.  You’re coming with us.”

He spins you and throws you over his shoulder.  You squeal, kicking your legs.  “Seb!  No!”

Chris and Seb march down to the master bedroom and Seb throws you onto Chris’ king-sized bed.  You bounce on the mattress and scramble backwards.  Chris and Sebastian both crawl up towards you like two hungry lions stalking their prey.

Their hands slide up your legs and over your stomach and each take an end of the ribbon and pull.  It unravels and slides down your body, exposing your breasts to them.

“I dunno about you, Seb.  But this is exactly what I was hoping for.”  Chris says, cupping one of your breasts and stroking his thumb over your nipple.

“Stop teasing me.”  You say, covering your hands over your face.  

“That’s not teasing, baby.”  Chris purrs.  He grabs your legs and pulls them.  You fall backwards and he picks up the ribbon the had been around you and starts winding it around your arms, binding them together.  He then ties the ribbon to the bed head in a bow.  You could easily release yourself, not that you want to.

Sebastian slides his hands up the sides of your ribs and as he reaches your underarms he dances his fingers over your sensitive skin.  

You squeal and buck suddenly, twisting against the bedframe.  “No!  No, no tickling.  I’ll put you in time out and you’ll have to watch.”

Sebastian pulls his hands away and looks down at you, his tongue poking out between his teeth and his hair flopped over one eye.  The look he gives you is one of a man deciding which action has the worse consequences.  

“Don’t worry, man.  I’ll take one for the team.”  Chris says, rubbing his hands together.  

“Oh, Evans.  You had better not.”  You say, but it’s too late.  His hands are on you, tickling your everywhere.  Under the arms, on your stomach, up under your chin.  You squeal and curse him and writhed below him and when you really absolutely had had enough you scream stop and he pulls away.

“You’re on yellow card, Evans.  Get it the penalty box.”  You snap.  He grins and gets off the bed, sitting himself on a leather wingback chair in the corner.

“My poor princess,”  Sebastian says, sliding his hands down your body.  “Let’s see if I can make you feel better.  

He leans in and grazes his lips over yours, his tongue gliding over your top lip.  You lean up trying to deepen the kiss but he moves away.  He moves his mouth down your throat, his parted lips ghosting over your skin for a moment before he stops to suck and bite on it.  Only to move on again.

When he reaches your breasts he spends time sucking and biting at your nipples.  First one and then the other, only to return to the first again.  They harden almost painfully under his ministrations.

“Sebastian.  God, please!”  You moan, grinding your hips against his thigh.

“Yeah, Seb.  Get on with it.”  Chris taunts from the corner.  Sebastian doesn’t look at Chris but he flips him his middle finger.

He moves further down, his tongue trailing over your stomach.  He moves so he’s directly between your legs and you spread wide for him.  He shifts your thong to the side and runs the point of his tongue between your folds from your entrance to your clit.  His tongue flicks over the sensitive bud and you moan loudly.

“Oh god, that’s good, Sebastian.  Just like that.”

Your encouragement spurs him on.  He sucks and nibbles at your clit and alternates between pressing his tongue down on it and quickly flicking the point over it.  Two fingers enter your cunt and he corkscrews them inside you before pressing down hard on your g-spot.

“Oh fuck yes.”  You cry.  “Just like that.”

He increases the speed and pressure of his movements and you jerk against your bonds and your legs tighten against his shoulders.  The sounds you start making become incoherent and primal. You come, gushing on to his face.  

He sits up and goes to wipe his face on his sleeve but Chris comes up behind him and catches his hand.  He’s removed his clothes already and stands at the end of the bed completely naked.  He takes Sebastian’s index and middle finger into his mouth, sucking your juices from them.  Sebastian moans and looks up hopefully at Chris.  Chris leans in and kisses him.  There is force and passion to it and it makes your skin prickle watching him.  

Chris pulls away from Seb and looks at you.  “Am I out of the sin bin?”  He asks.

“For now.  But your dick doesn’t get to go in anything without my express permission.”

“Yes, ma’am,”  Chris says.  “Can I eat you out too?”

“I suppose so.”  You say.

Sebastian climbs off the bed and leans down and kisses you as Chris starts to lap at your pussy.  “Do you need anything?”  He asks, breaking the kiss.

“Take your clothes off.”  You answer.

Sebastian smiles and pulls his grey t-shirt off over his head.  You start to pant as you watch him remove his pants.  Chris pushes your legs, so your hips are tilted up more and he laps from your asshole to your cunt.  His fingers roll over your clit and you start to grind your hips against him.  

Seb removes his jeans and boxers and looks at you.  “Now what?”  He asks, stroking his cock.

“Come here.”  You say.

Sebastian climbs back onto the bed and positions himself so the tip of his cock was touching your lips.  You run the tip of your tongue over the head and then take him into your mouth.  

Chris sits up a little and starts using both hands on you.  Two fingers enter your cunt and another pushes into your asshole.  You buck suddenly moaning around Sebastian’s dick.  Chris moves his mouth back to your pussy, licking and sucking on your clit as he fucks you with his fingers.

The three of you move together.   Sebastian starts moaning in time with you and pulls away suddenly.  “Fuck.  Give me a sec.”  He says, running his hand over your head.  

You close your eyes and give yourself to Chris.  His fingers work quickly but methodically on you.  Your pulse races and your skin feels electrified.  The pressure of an orgasm builds inside of you and erupts suddenly.  You cry out, your throat raw.

You lay panting, mouth dry and throat ragged.  Chris stalks up your body, placing kisses randomly as he lines himself up with you.  “Can my dick go in something now?”

You look at Sebastian and he starts laughing.  “You want my permission, princess?”

“Yes.”  You reply.  Your voice coming out as a croak.

“Shit, listen to your voice.  Sure, Chris. Go for it.”  Seb says, he comes over and kisses you on the forehead.  “I’m going get you some water.”

Chris pushes into you, filling you.  You hum and squeeze around his cock.  

“When did Seb become boss?”  Chris whispers as he nuzzles at your throat.

“I’m boss.”  You answer, closing your eyes.  Chris’ wraps his arm behind your head and the other hand strokes down your chest, massaging your breast.  

“I suppose that’s true.”  Chris chuckles.  

Sebastian returns to the room and Chris pushes himself up on his knees lifting your legs up onto his shoulder.  Sebastian offers you a bottle of water and you drink it greedily letting the cool liquid soothe your throat.  When he takes it away, Chris leans forward pushing your legs back against your chest and starts railing into you.  You lock your eyes with him and come apart.  

Sebastian places his hand on your stomach and slides it down between your legs.  His fingers find your clit and he rubs it quickly in little circles.  You come for a third time, your legs shaking.  Chris pulls out of you and rolls away.  Sebastian reaches up and releases your arms from the bed.  He pulls you up into his lap and guides his cock inside of you as you lower yourself in place.  Your arms are still bound together and you hook them over Sebastian’s head, so they’re wrapped around his neck.  

You start to ride him.  You’re already feeling completely spent, your legs weak.  Sebastian grabs your hips and starts helping you move. You let your head rest on his shoulder and nip at the skin of his neck.  He tips you back, holding you in place by the small of your back.  You let your head falls back and he starts kissing and sucking on your breasts.  His mouth spreading heat through your skin and sending a current of electricity through you.

You start to pant as you roll your hips against Sebastian.  Your hands tangle in his hair.  You come for a fourth time.  This time it rolls over you like a wave and you lean forward, resting your head on the top of Sebastian’s as your body spasms for him.

“Let me off.”  You plead.  

Chris comes up behind Sebastian and unwinds the ribbon from your arms.  You fall off Sebastian and just collapse in a heap on the mattress.

“What do you want to do, babe?  Need a break?”  Chris asks.

You shake your head.  Sebastian grabs the lube from the bedside table and squeezes some into his palm before throwing the bottle to Chris.  They both slick their cocks, stroking them as they look down at you curled up on the mattress.

Chris lay back on the bed and pulls you up onto him so your back is pressed against him.  You let your head fall onto his shoulder as he fingers your clit.  “You sure about this?”  He asks.  “You seem pretty done.”

“Mmm… Be nice.”  You answer.  

Chris adjusts the two of you and enters you.  His fingers never leave your clit and he rolls his hip around and up.  Sebastian moves between both your legs, he runs his hands up your thighs and his tongue over your stomach.  You feel the press of his cock on your cunt, pushing against Chris’.

“Slowly, Seb.”  You moan.

Sebastian leans over you his hand going to your head and he pulls you into a kiss. His tongue teases over your lips and as you relax into it, he slowly pushes inside of you.  

You feel stretched and full and an exhausted contentment washes over you.  Chris starts kissing the side of your jaw, and you slowly turn toward him, breaking away from Seb. Chris takes over where Seb leaves off.  

The three of you move in this slow, lazy connected way.  Their hands are all over you as they thrust asynchronously with each other.  You kiss them in a way that feels like it may never end.  When one of them breaks away the other takes over.  Your lips become numb and you feel light headed.  

You come for a fifth time, clenching suddenly.  One hand digs into Chris’ forearm and the other clutches at Sebastian’s bicep.  The tightening of your internal walls sends both men over and they spill inside you simultaneously.

Sebastian pulls out of you and collapses onto the bed.  You slither off Chris, your head falling into the crook of his arm and Sebastian wraps himself around you.

“Fucking hell.”  You say.  “I think I’m now ruined.”

“Good, because you’re stuck with us,”  Sebastian says.  You lean down and you kiss briefly.

“I love you guys so much.  Like seriously.”  You sigh.  

Their arms tighten around you and Chris presses his lips to the crown of your head.  “Love you too.”  They both say.  

“We got you a present too.  Do you want it?”  Chris asks.

“Uh, yeah.”  You reply.

Chris clicks his fingers and points to the bedside table on Seb’s side.  Sebastian rolls over and digs around in the drawer pulling out a small wrapped gift and a card.

“We got you things individually too.  Which you’ll get on Christmas.  This is just from both of us.”  Sebastian explains, handing you the present and wrapping himself back around you.

You open the card first.  It’s hand drawn.  Just a rough little sketch of three cartoony people holding hands.  On the front is written ‘To the girl who holds the heart of two men.’  You open it and in large black letters is written ‘And who two men struggle to keep up with.’  Sebastian and Chris have each signed it.  

You smile and kiss them each, before opening the gift.  Inside was a red and gold ring box.  You popped it open and inside was a ring.  It was three individual bands.  One yellow, one white and one rose gold.  Each band linked together.  

“Oh god, you guys.”  You say, your breath catching.

“We thought…”  Chris says.  

“I know.  It’s perfect.”  

Sebastian picks the ring from the box and slides it onto the ring finger of your right hand.  He adjusts it so the bands sit properly and kisses your fingers.  “Fits.”  He said.

You sigh and snuggle down into Chris.  “Just like us.”


	5. Alone and Together in Boston

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Chris fly to Boston to spend the week leading up to Christmas with his family. Panic sets in when you realize you have to spend the entire week lying to them about the true nature of your relationship.

Flying is never fun.  Even if you have the nice seats, you’re still having to deal with air pressure changes and not being able to get up as much as you’d like.  It is nice being in the nice seats though.  It’s nicer being with Chris.  

Chris was really excited about going home and introducing you to his family.  He had been holding your hand and playing with your fingers most of the flight and chattering away about all the things he wanted to show you.  Where he went to school and where he’d had his first kiss.  Where he’d gotten in trouble for letting off fireworks during the day.  Where he and his friends used to hang out when they skipped school.

The closer you got to Boston the stronger his accent became.  The stronger his accent became the stronger your anxiety became.  At the start of the flight, you had been excited and you’d both been talking.  Now you were beginning your descent, you hadn’t actually said anything at all aside from ‘uh huh’ for the last hour.  Your palms have started to sweat and you don’t know how Chris could possibly still be happy holding your hand.

“What’s the matter, babe?”  He asks, kissing the back of your hand.

“What if she hates me?”  You answer.

“Who, Ma?  She’s not going to hate you.  I almost never bring girls home to meet her.  She’s excited.  And you’re awesome.”   Chris says.  “Besides, you’ve already met her haven’t you?”

You swallow and nod your head.  “At your 30th but it was super brief and I was drunk.  And we weren’t dating then.  We were friends.  Now I have to pass the future daughter-in-law test.  And I’ll be lying the whole time.”

“Not bringing up Seb isn’t the same as lying.  It’s not like she’s going to ask if you’re seeing anyone else.”  Chris assures you.  

You shake your head.  “Chris…”

His hand goes to your face and he strokes his thumb along your jaw.  “Babe, I promise we’ll come clean with this.  We just gotta take it slow okay?  Ma was surprised I was bringing a girl home at all.  I’ve been keeping everything pretty low key.  So let’s introduce us.  Then we’ll talk about what to do about Sebastian.”

“I wish - I wish I wasn’t doing this to you.  I don’t know why you’ve even agreed to this.”  

Chris pulls you to him and kisses you.  It’s fierce and deep.  His teeth graze over your lips and his tongue licks over your lips  He pulls away and leans his forehead on yours.  “I love you, ya dummy.”

The journey to Chris’ mom’s place doesn’t get easier for you.  By the time you arrive your stomach is in knots and your heart is racing so fast it feels like it’s about to burst out your chest.  The car Chris had organized drops you at the front of a beautiful two story family home, with a large porch out the front.  The driver helps you with your bags as several of Chris’ family come outside to greet you.

When Scott sees you a massive grin takes over his features.  “I knew it!”  He cheers, rushing over to you and hugging you.

“You didn’t know shit.”  You tease hugging him back, but a pain has started to creep into your chest and you’re finding it hard to breathe.

“Ma, this is the girl I was telling you about!”  Scott yells.  “Why didn’t you tell us, Chris?”

Chris shrugs.  “Just wanted to make sure.  Now we’re sure.”

Chris mom approaches and Chris does a brief introduction she wraps her arms around you, dragging you into a tight hug.  The pain in your chest worsens and you stop being able to hear people anymore.  It’s almost like you’ve entered a Charlie Brown movie.  Everything is ‘wah, wah, wah’.

When Lisa lets you go everything starts to spin.  You try to make it to the steps of the house so you can sit.  Your hand clutches at your chest and you can’t quite make it.  You drop to your knees on the gravel driveway.

Chris is beside you in an instant, crouching down with his arm around your shoulders.  “Sweetheart, what is it?”

“Can’t breathe.  Feels like I’m having a heart attack.”  You say.

“Shh… this is a panic attack okay.”  Chris soothes.  “You’re going to be okay.  Just focus on my voice.”

“I don’t have panic attacks.”  You say, gripping his hand.

“Yeah, but I do,”  Chris said.  “Can you get up do you think?  We can go inside.”

“I think so.”

Chris helps you to your feet and leads you into the house.  There is a flurry of activity around you but all you are aware of is Chris and how you’re dying.  That he should call an ambulance because this is for sure an actual heart attack.

“Honey, I know you’re scared.  It’s fine.  You’re going to be fine.  I’m right here, doing this with you okay?”  

Slowly Chris talks you down, crouched in front of you, holding your hands in his and looking you in the eye.  Your chest hurts less and you start being able to breathe normally.  

“See.  Just a panic attack.”  Chris says, twirling your hair around his finger.  

“Fuck.  I thought I was dying.”  You say.

“It was a pretty bad one.  What happened?”

Lisa comes into the room holding a mug and hands it to you.  It’s hot cocoa and she’s put a candy cane in it.  You thank her and she sits down putting her arm around you.

“We’re really not scary.”  She says. “But I understand anxiety.  If you need space and time to get used to being here, just take what you need.”

“Thanks, ma.  Can you give us a minute?”  Chris says.

She nods and gets up leaving you both alone again.

“I can’t do this, Chris.  I can’t.  I thought I could.  That is would be fine.  Like when we go to parties and I just pretend we’re friends.  But this is different.  This is your family.”  You whisper.

“Do you want to tell them?  I’ll do it if that’s what you want?”  Chris says, his thumb still stroking along the back of your hand.

You shake your head.  

“Do you want to go back to LA?  I can try and book a flight.”

“No.”  You say, bursting into tears.

He hugs you, holding your head against his shoulder.  “How about we go up to my room?  You can tease me about it because it’s still got all my stuff from when I was a kid and I was a huge theater nerd.  And then you can call Seb and show him.  And then you can have a nap.”

“Okay.”  You sniff.

You follow Chris upstairs cup of cocoa cradled in both your hands.  It plays out almost exactly as he says.  There are no posters in his room and the bed is a queen, but otherwise, it’s his childhood room.  Full of trophies for theatre sports and action figures and science dioramas.  

You call Seb on hangouts and he answers with a huge grin on his face.

“Hey, beautiful.”  He says.  “How was your flight?”

“It was a flight.”

Seb laughs.  You show him around Chris’ room and you both team up on Chris, teasing him about the nerdy things still littering the shelves.  Chris takes it all in good humor.  He pulls you down on the bed with him and you lean up against his chest while you both chat with Seb.

“So, your girl is beating around the bush about something,”  Chris says as the conversation starts winding up.

“What’s up?”  Sebastian asks.

“She had a massive panic attack when we got here.  Like curling up fetal.  She’s not coping too well with keeping secrets.  Are you, babe?”  Chris explains.

You shake your head.  “Not from family.”

“Oh, sweetheart.  I wish I was there.  I know this isn’t easy.  It won’t be forever.  We just have to find our footing.  Work out how we’re doing this.”  Sebastian says.

“I know.”  You sigh.  “I just - how can they like me if I’m doing this to you both?   This isn’t what your moms want.  Some girl who won’t even commit to one of you.”

“You have committed to us,”  Sebastian says.

“It’s not what they have in their heads for sure.  That’s why we do this in stages, babe.”  Chris says.  “When they see how much we love you, they’ll accept the choices we made.”

“Sure they will.”  You groan.

“Trust us,”  Sebastian says.

You nod but you’re still not so sure.  

“I love you,”  Sebastian says.

“I love you too.”  

“Call me whenever you like, okay?”

You nod and he blows you a kiss.

“See ya, buddy,”  Chris says.

Sebastian salutes and you disconnect the call.

Chris throws the phone on the bedside table and kisses you.  “You alright?”

“Yeah.  I guess so.”  

“Do you want to have a nap?”

You nod and Chris lies down and holds you while you drift off to sleep.  

* * *

The weekends up being pretty good.  Chris’ family are loud and dramatic but their love for each other is strong.  They make you one of them pretty quickly.  Chris takes you to meet his dad and that side of the family.   You meet aunts and uncles and childhood friends.  Names start becoming a blur.  Chris takes you to favorite bars, old schools, places he used to get up to trouble and places he still gets up to trouble.  

More and more you start to feel that making the choice to be with Chris was the right one.  The lying still bothers you, but you know the direction you’re both headed is one where you won’t be forever.  You just hope they don’t all hate you when they find out.

You FaceTime with Sebastian regularly.  Not every day, though you do text pretty constantly.  On one day when the rest of the Evans have gone out Christmas shopping you put your laptop at the end of the bed and cast the screen to Chris’ TV.

You sit naked pressed against a fully clothed Chris.  Your legs spread. Ankles hooked over Chris’ calves.  Watching Sebastian stroke his cock while he directs Chris on how he wants you to be touched.

Chris’ fingers were working inside you, stroking your internal walls, his thumb rolling over your clit.  The whole experience has you sitting right on the brink of orgasm.  Your head falls back onto Chris’ shoulder and your eyes close.  You moan loudly.

“Oh, such a pretty little girl.  You like that huh, baby?”  Sebastian purrs.

“Yes, daddy.” You reply, barely being able to form the words.

“You want your daddy to touch you like that, huh baby?”  Sebastian asks.

You look to Chris, not sure of your answer.  

“Don’t look at Chris.  This is my time.  You bad girl.  You want me to make Chris spank you?”  Sebastian snaps.

You shake your head.  “No daddy, I’m sorry.  I do want it to be you.”

“What would you do for me if I was there?  So you could get your reward?”  Sebastian asks.

“I’d use my mouth.  I want your dick in my mouth, daddy.”  You whine.  

“I know you do, baby.  You have such an oral fixation.  Chris put your fingers in her mouth.”  Sebastian growls.

Chris pulls his fingers from your cunt and puts them in your mouth.  You latch onto them, sucking your juices from his skin.  His other hand takes over at your pussy and you thrust up into it, moaning loudly as your body shudders.  You heard Chris make a quiet grunt and as you settle back against him you become aware of how hard he is.

“That’s it, baby girl.  You’re so good for me.  I’m thinking about fucking your mouth.  You look so pretty all spread out for me.”  Sebastian purrs.

You let Chris’ fingers slip from your mouth and he starts kneading your breasts.  You feel so close.  You arch your body up off the bed, pushing into Chris’ hands.

“Oh daddy, I’m so close.”  You cry.

“You wait for me,”  Sebastian growls.

You tense your muscles and squeeze your fists closed letting your nails bite into your palms.  You keep your eyes on Sebastian as he pumps his cock.  

“That’s it.”  He pants.  “Talk to daddy, baby girl.”

“I need you, daddy.”  You whine.  “I need your dick.  I want it so bad.  Please, daddy.”

Sebastian grunts and spills sticky, white come over his hand.

“Good girl, baby.”  He pants.  “Now be good and come for your daddy.”

Chris increases the pressure on your cunt and pinches your nipples.  You give yourself to it and come, twisting against Chris’ body and crying out.

You lay panting for a moment while Sebastian watches you his tongue poking out between his lips.

“Okay, babe.  I better go clean up.  See you in a few days.”  Sebastian says.

“Love you, Seb.”  You say, sitting up straight against Chris.

“Love you too,”  Sebastian says.  “See ya, Chris.”

Chris says his goodbye and switches off the computer.  He rolls you onto your back and grinds his hips into yours, pecking you on the lips.  “You’re all mine again.”

“Goody.”  You say, sliding your hands up under his shirt.  

Chris pulls it off over his head and starts kissing up the side of your neck.  “I didn’t know you were and Seb into daddy stuff.”

“Just sometimes.  We like to play games.”  You answer.  You flick your fingernails over his nipples and he makes a growling sound in the back of his throat.  

“Did you want to do that with me?”  He asks.

“That depends.  Are you asking because you want to, or because you think I think the sex isn’t as good with you because we don’t do that?”  You ask.  

Your hands slide down over his abs and he grabs them and pulls them up, pinning them over your head.  

“Probably the second thing.”

“Then nope.  I’m up for trying things out if you wanna try them.  But I’m good with exactly the things we do.”  You answer.

“I just - I don’t wanna…”   He looks down at you his brow furrowed.  

You lean up and kiss him.  “If you’re worried that I like the sex better with Seb, you can stop.  It’s different.  That’s all.  You’re both giving me things I need, and I love you both.”

“Good, because I plan to fuck you senseless right now.  And don’t be quiet.  We have the house to ourselves.”  Chris growls.  

He keeps holding your hands above your head with one of his hands and with the other he unfastens his fly and pushes his pants down just enough to free his cock.  It springs up and he slams into you with no warning.

“Oh fuck.”  You cry.  “Yes, Chris.  Fuck me hard.”

He continues to pound into you while his sucks and bites at your neck and breasts.  All the while keeping your hands pinned above your head.  As he pounds into your you lose control.  Chanting his name and crying out as your orgasm sweeps over you.  

He pulls out as your legs still shake from it and flips you over.  He grabs the lube from the drawer of his bedside table and squeezes some between your ass cheeks.   He wrestles your arms behind your back and lines his cock up against your asshole.  

“Relax.”  He growls.

You take a deep breath in and relax all your muscles as you exhale.  He pushes inside of you.  The burning sting that often accompanied anal spread through you and you whimper.  

He stills inside you and waits for a moment, squeezing more lube over his cock and your ass.  “Okay?”   He asks.

“Yes.  Please, Chris.  Please fuck me.”

And he does.  Oh, how he does.  He holds you down, pushing you into the mattress and just rails into you.  You feel torn in two.  Pleasure and pain mixing to become this new thing.  You come again, quickly and hard.  You scream out, your body clenching.  You try and twist away, escape it, but Chris holds you down and continues to fuck you.

You start begging him, pleading with him.  You don’t even know what you want.  Just that you need him.  

He pulls out of you suddenly and with a grunt he comes, spilling hot semen onto your back.  He lets your hands go, and he runs his hands up over your ass and along your back, smearing his seed into your skin.  

“You wanna take a bath with me?”  He asks lying down over you and nuzzling at the back of your neck.  

“That sounds nice.”  You agree.

* * *

You wake up on Christmas morning to Chris teasing his fingers down your back.  You roll into his arms and before even saying a word to each other you’re making slow, sleepy love to each other.  You shower together and head down to breakfast with the family.  Carly’s kids are excitable and run around begging you all to go open presents.  

There are so many gifts being passed back and forth.  You feel like the thing you bought Chris is probably just going to be lost in the pile of sweaters and nerf guns.  You slip his present into his hand and he grins and gives you a kiss.  The first of his gifts is a personalized t-shirt with Mickey Mouse dressed in a Pats uniform.  He excitedly puts it straight on and hugs you.  The next gift is a small, white, porous rock.  

“Awww you got me an ugly rock, thank you.”  He says in mock awe.

You punch him in the arm.  “It’s a Geode.  It’s full of crystals.  But this one hasn’t been opened.  So if you crack it open, you’ll be the first one to ever see them.”

His eyes soften and he kisses you.  “I love it.”  He gets Myles to grab a small gift from under the tree and hands it to you.  

It’s wrapped in a delicate paper with a snowflake pattern.  You open it and there is a pandora box.  The silver bracelet inside has half a dozen charms.  Each one has special meaning to you and to both of you.  They match your own personal likes and tastes.  He’s really put a lot of thought into it.  One charm, however, makes you laugh out loud.  It’s a tiny cap shield.  

“I love it.  And you.”  You say, snuggling down into his shoulder.  “Merry Christmas, Chris.”

“Merry Christmas, beautiful.”

You spend the morning playing with the kids and their new toys, and just before midday, a car comes to pick you up to take you to the airport.  Chris helps load your bag into the car and you both stand at the door to the car locked around each other.  Chris’ hands slide down to your ass as you kiss.  The cold air making your cheeks flush and your lips hurt a little.  

When you break apart your breath comes out in small clouds of vapor.  “Did you have a good time in the end?”  Chris asks.

“Yeah, I really like your family.  I’m scared we’re gonna hurt them.”  You say.

Chris shakes his head.  “They’ll accept it.  Anyway, you better go.  You’ll miss your plane.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“Nah, you’ll have Seb.  Besides, I’ll be there in a week.”  Chris says, stepping back from you.  

You kiss him one last time before getting in the car.  You wave to Chris and his family as it pulls away and takes you just that little bit further from one boyfriend and closer to the other.


	6. Alone and Together in New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving Chris in Boston with his family you go to New York to spend the rest of it with Sebastian and meet his mom. When you keep finding them speaking to each other in Romanian you worry that maybe they’re talking about you. You do, however, discover a new kink.

The cab wound in and out of the Manhattan streets.  The hulking buildings of midtown were easily visible and you couldn’t quite take your eyes off the Chrysler building.  

It wasn’t your first time in New York.  It wasn’t even your first time in New York where you spent time with Sebastian.  It was, however, your first time in New York with Sebastian since that night almost six months back where you, Sebastian and Chris got really drunk and had sex.

You were a little excited because he was so New York and had basically been keeping himself in LA for your sake.  You were excited to do all those New York couple things.  Walking hand in hand in a snowy Central Park.  Ice skating at Rockefeller Plaza.  Going to see a show on Broadway.  

Nothing said New York quite as much as the Art Deco dome of the Chrysler Building.  So you kept your eyes on it and thought about him.

You did also carry with you a huge bundle of nerves.  You were meeting his mom for the first time.  Which seems crazy when you think about it.  You’d worked for Sebastian as his PA no fewer than six times now.  He and his mom were close.  You’d answered her calls when he was busy on set.  You’d scheduled dinner and visits.  You’d sent flower (always with specific instructions and messages written in Romanian that you didn’t understand).  Seemed strange that you’d still never met.

The cab pulls up at a building in Chelsea.  Just one of the many pretty but unremarkable rows of buildings in the area.  The cabbie helps you with your bag and you roll it to the door pressing the buzzer.

Sebastian buzzes you up and you meet him halfway up the first flight of stairs as he comes charging down, two at a time wearing his usual dark affair of black jeans and a grey t-shirt, with a floral apron over it.

He picks you up off the ground and squeezes you so your ribs hurt.  “God, I missed you!”  He says.

“I wasn’t even gone a week.”  You laugh.

“I know.  I’m done for.”  Sebastian says, and you kiss.  God how you’ve missed the feel of his lips on yours.  That faint scratch of his stubble.  The way he always swipes his tongue over your top lip when he pulls away.

“Missed you too.”

He smiles and grabs your bag in one hand and your hand in the other.  “Come on.  I want you to meet my mom.”

You follow Sebastian up to an apartment on the third floor.  The door had been left open a crack and when he wheels it in.  The apartment is full of exotic and delicious smells.  

“Mom!  She’s here!”  Sebastian calls.

Sebastian’s mom steps out of the kitchen.  She has her hair tied up in a bun and is wearing an apron that matches Sebastian’s.

“It’s about time!  Sebastian won’t stop talking about you.”  She says, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek.

“He won’t?”

“He’s quite smitten.”  

You grin at Sebastian and kiss him on the cheek.  

“You wanna freshen up or something?  Dinner will be ready in a minute.”  Sebastian asks.

“You sure you don’t want any help?”  You offer.

Sebastian hooks his arm around his mom’s shoulders.  “We got this.”  He says winking at you.

You go use the bathroom and reapply your makeup.  You give Chris a quick call to tell him you arrived safely.

When you come back out you hear Sebastian and his mom talking as they serve up all the dishes on the table.

“Ai putea te rog să-mi faci sarmale la sfâșit de săptămână? Mi-e dor. Și mi-e poftă de scovergi. Cu zahăr pudră și cu gem.”  Sebastian says.

”Sigur, dragul mamei. Oare o să-i placă și ei ce gătesc?”  She replies.

Sebastian laughs.  ”Sper, mami. Nimeni nu gătește ca tine și ea e fată bună, o să se bucure că gustă ceva nou.”

Hearing Sebastian speak his native language is freakishly sexy, but a weird level of paranoia sets in and you wonder if they’re talking about you.  That maybe she already has decided she doesn’t like you.

The meal is a mixture of things you’ve tried before but never anywhere this good, and things you’ve never ever heard of.  None of which you would ever have considered eating for Christmas dinner.  Chicken noodle soup, cabbage rolls stuffed with pork, cheese rolls, deviled eggs and a salad called Salată de boeuf that Seb couldn’t get enough of that was made of chopped root vegetables and beef mixed in a mayonnaise.  There was ham as well but it was served with horseradish. It’s all amazing and by the time you finish eating you are stuffed and sleepy.

You and Sebastian go to do the dishes together much to his mother’s protests.  Sebastian keeps flicking you on the butt with the end of the tea towel.  

“I’ll fricken kill you if you do that again.”  You snap.

Sebastian wraps his arms around you from behind and kisses the side of your neck.  “Do you mind if we sleep here tonight?”

“That’s fine with me.”  You say.

“That means no funny business,”  Sebastian says, in a loud whisper.

“Are you sure _you’re_ okay with staying here tonight then?”  You say mimicking his tone.

You stay up talking to Seb and his mom til quite late and by the time the two of you head to bed you’re completely exhausted.

“Got you something.”  You say digging around in your suitcase.

“I said; no funny business.”  Sebastian teases.

You laugh and toss him a small gift.  “Then stop bringing it up.”

Sebastian grabs a large gift from the top of the wardrobe and tosses it to you.  While you open your gift Seb opens his.  You have him a men’s ring with a polished piece of meteorite set into the band.  

He gave you a dress.  He explains it was a traditional dress from Romania and the colors were special to the region of Constanta he was from.

“I love it, Seb.”  You say holding it up against you.  “I’ll wear it tomorrow.”

“I’ll wear mine tomorrow too.”  

You start to get dressed for bed and Sebastian hands you another small gift in a pink pouch.  “This one’s kinda shitty of me, cause I’m co-opting Chris’ present.  But you can’t have a Steve charm without a Bucky one.”

You shake the charm from the pouch.  It’s a round silver bead with black etched lines mimicking Bucky’s arm.  The little red star embedded into the head with enamel.

“OMG, Seb!”  You say, taking your bracelet off and sliding the Winter Soldier one next to the Cap Shield.

“I had it made, you know?  Bucky doesn’t get official charms.”  Seb says.

“Aww… poor Borky.  Not to worry, Borky.  You’re back with Steeb now.”  You put the bracelet on the bedside table and snuggle under the covers.   Sebastian slides in next to you and wraps his arms around you.

“You’re so weird.”  He says, nuzzling up against your throat.  

“It’s what makes me so lovable.”  You reply.

“It’s one of the things.”  He agrees.  “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.  I’m glad we got to spend some of the day together.”

“Merry Christmas, baby.”

* * *

You wake the following morning to find the bed empty.  You get up and wander into the kitchen.  Sebastian and Georgeta are making coffee and once again speaking in Romanian.  You once again worry that they’re talking about you.

”Dragule, de ce nu te îmbraci și tu mai elegant, că acum îți permiți!”  Georgeta says.  She sounds slightly annoyed.

Sebastian laughs.  ”Nu vreau să port costum mereu, că îmi intră mereu chiloții în fund și mă enervează pe covorul roșu când trebuie să stau în picioare multă vreme. La sală nu o să mă duc în vecii vecilor la costum.”

Whatever he just said, doesn’t seem to change her mind.  She shakes her head.  ”Nu zice nimeni să mergi în costum la sală, dar ai fost pozat în pantaloni de trening la aeroport. Ești vedetă de cinema, ce mama dracului.”

”Cel mai mult îmi place când pot să port trening în filme.”  Seb says and gives her a squeeze around the shoulders.  

They both notice you and Sebastian greets you with a kiss.  “What do you think of how I’m dressed?”  He asks you.  

You assess him in his grey sweats and black tee and pull a face.  “You look like a complete slob.”

Sebastian’s mom starts laughing.  

“Great. Just great.”  Sebastian says.  

He starts digging around in the pantry.  “You hungry?  Mom just has a bunch of fruit.”  Sebastian says.

“Fruit is fine with me, as long as I get coffee.”  

Seb grins.  “I knew there was a reason I liked you.”  He turns to his mom.  ”Mă duc la magazin, nu mai avem pâine și eu nu pot fără carbohidrați.”

”Dacă găsești, adu și căpșuni te rog.”  She replies.

Okay, so one of those words sounded like carbohydrate.  So you’re probably fine.  Sebastian does sound sexy saying carbohydrate in Romanian though.  There is the definite possibility that you’ve developed a new kink.

Seb squeezes your hand.  “I’m just going to the store.  Wanna come?”

“I think I’ll just have a shower.”  You say.

Seb leaves you to it.  You shower and dress in the dress Sebastian gave you for Christmas.  You take the opportunity to call Chris.  He answers blearily.

“Are you still in bed?”  You ask.

“Where did you think I’d be?”  He asked.

“I dunno.  Up.”

There’s laughter on the other end of the line.  “Part of me is up.  Wanna talk me through it?”

“You know I’d love to.  But I’m at Sebastian’s mom’ place.”

Chris whines.  “Aww… but I love when you talk dirty to me.”

“Next time.  I promise.  How’s things with you?”

“Good.  Nothing’s happened much since you left.  Dinner was good.  How was yours?”

“It was so good.  You should have seen what we had.”  You regaled Chris with all the different foods you ate, and the gifts you got.  When you hung up the phone you head back out to the kitchen.

Things look quite serious.  Sebastian had his mom’s hands in his and the way he was talking was like he was trying to reassure her.  ”Sigur că o iubesc, e o dulce și mă iubește și ea pe mine. Și nu încearcă să mă schimbe.”   He turned and looked at you when you came in.  “There’s the girl I love.  Oh man, you look so pretty in that dress.  Doesn’t she, mom?

“She does,”  Georgeta replies.

“ Like a princess.”  Seb continues.  “I wanna braid your hair.”

“It is kinda princess-like.”  You agree.  “I’m also down for hair braiding.  Maybe I can do yours too.”

You spend until the late afternoon with Sebastian’s mom.  Sebastian is as relaxed and happy as he’s ever been with you.  At one point even saying he felt so lucky to be with his two most favorite people in the world.  It made your heart hurt a little.

In the afternoon you caught the subway to his place in SoHo.  Sebastian leads you into his apartment and holds his arms out.  “And this is my place.”

You burst out laughing.  “Yeah.  I’ve been here before.”

Sebastian’s turns to you and stalks over.  “Oh yeah.  I forgot.”  He says, wrapping his arms around you.  “God, that was way back when you were dating that asshole.   Did you fuck that asshole in my house?”

“Nope.”  You say, running your hands up his chest.

“Well, we should Christen it then.”  Sebastian purred.

“Not sure that’s how it works.”  You giggle.

Sebastian kisses you.  It’s slow and deep and you hook your ankle around the back of his calf.  He leads you to his bedroom and pulls off your dress.

You and Seb collapse on the bed together and for the longest time, you just kiss.  Your lips tingle and your hands roam over each other’s bodies.  Clothes are slowly shed.  There is no urgency to turn this into sex yet.  The intimacy is the thing you both seem to want to dwell on.

When you’re both naked and aching for each other.  Sebastian rock hard for you.  You dripping for him.  Sebastian moves above you and starts grinding against you and placing random kisses over your body.

“Seb.”

“Mm?”

“I think it’s really hot when you speak Romanian.”  You say.

He props himself onto his elbows and looks down at you.  “Oh, do you now?”

You bite your lip.  “Uh huh.”

“You want me to dirty talk in Romanian don’t you?”

“I do want that.”  

He starts laughing and crawls down your body.  He kisses along the inside of your thigh, teasing your pussy with the very tips of his fingers.  He inhales deeply and lets out a long, low hum.  “Dacă ai știi ce îmbietor miroși… îmi vine să te mănânc de-a dreptul.”  He growls.  “În general îmi place să dau limbi, dar ție în special.”

He tongue slips between your folds and he runs it up your crevice only briefly touching on your clit.  “Ești mereu așa de proaspătă și frumoasă, că-mi vine să nu te las să te îmbraci niciodată.”  He says.  He licks his lips and takes another quick swipe at your pussy.  “Dacă ai fi numai a mea, te-aș ține numai goală în vârful patului.”  

You tremble, your skin prickles.  He could be saying anything right now, you literally have no idea, but his tone of voice and the fact he’s speaking his native tongue makes it somehow even better than if you could understand him.  He could literally be saying anything.  It could be sweet or the filthiest thing in the world and you would never know.  

He sucks at your pussy, opening his jaw wide and then pulling the clit in his mouth.  “Și când vin acasă m-aș aștepta să te găsesc cu picioarele desfăcute, sus pe perete și fără chiloți.”

He pushes two fingers inside of you, fucking you slowly with them.  You moan and arch up off the mattress.  “Dar vorbesc prostii. Și așa e destul de grav, mi-e pula ca de beton armat doar când mă gândesc la tine.”  He growls, before circling his tongue over your clit.  

“Oh fuck, Sebastian.”  You moan, as you feel yourself begin to come apart.  You clutch at the sheets as your muscles contract involuntarily.

He curls his fingers inside of you, dragging them back and forth over your g-spot.  “Mă excit de numa’ când îți aud vocea la telefon și de când sunt cu tine zici că-mi bag socoteala la teasc, da imediat ce termin iar faci ceva de-mi înțepenește și fularul.”

He sucks on your clit and presses hard against your g-spot.  Your orgasm takes hold of you and you gush for him.  He laps at you before sitting up on his knees and wiping his mouth.  “Mental note to speak Romanian more often.”

You climb up into his lap and he adjusts back pulling you down onto his cock.  You groan, his cock stretching you.  You kiss him, swirling your tongue over his lips.  Savouring the flavor of you in his mouth.

“What did you say?”  You ask as you start to ride him.

Seb shakes his head and blushes a little.  “Not saying now.  Maybe one day.”

You wrap your arms around Sebastian’s neck so your hands cradle his head.  Your fingers pushed into his hair.  He holds your hips, guiding you as you move together.  You each kiss and bite at each other.  Tongues trailing over each other’s skin.  He tips you back and takes your nipple into his mouth, gently pressing his teeth down on the hardened peak.

“Oh fuck, Seb.  That feels so good.” You groan.

He grunts and starts thrusting up harder inside of you.  

“Sebastian!”  You cry.  “Oh god, you always know.”

He pushes you back onto the bed and everything becomes urgent and passionate.  The air in the room is cool but your bodies are both slick with sweat.  It drips from his brow as he thrusts into you, his skin sliding over yours.

“Tell me.”  He growls.  He licks up the side of your neck, before sucking a patching into his mouth, biting down on it.  He’s leaving his mark on your skin.

You’re close and have trouble forming coherent sounds but you manage to say the words you know he wants to hear.  “Your dick feels so good inside of me, Sebastian.”  You moan.  “Oh fuck.  I need it.  I need you.  I love you, Seb.”

His body jerks, slamming into you, creating the perfect pressure on your clit and inside of you.   His orgasm setting yours off.  You both cry out, giving yourself to it and each other.

* * *

The rest of the week is spent doing all those NY couples in love things you had wanted.  The ice skating.  The walks in the park.  You see Hamilton on Broadway.  You eat at home.  At his mom’s.  At grimy pizza places and food carts and at expensive restaurants.  He even takes you to the top of the Empire State Building and you declare your love for each other like you’re in a cheesy rom-com before taking a selfie together with Central Park in the background.

When Chris arrives on New Years the three of you hole up in Sebastian’s apartment.  You just hung out the way you used to pre-drunken sex.  Chris turns on the college football and you drink beer and play stupid card games.

When the sun sets you all join the New Year’s Eve crowds in the city.  Using the sheer numbers of people to grant you some anonymity.   Occasionally people would recognize them.  They are famous for playing friends on screen and seeing them together is exciting for fans.  Chris and Sebastian don’t even seem to care.  Neither holds back their affection for you.  Much of the night is spent with at least one person’s hands somewhere on your body.

When the ball drops they both just kiss your cheek.  You suggest heading back to Sebastian’s for tequila shots and they excitedly agree.  

Shots are taken directly off your skin.  Salt is licked off theirs and after an intense, sweaty, fucking you all collapse exhausted into each other’s arms.  Sebastian and Chris lazily trail their fingers over your skin.

“I really love this.  Being with you both.  The way you make me feel.  I’ve never felt so good about myself before.”  You say.

“Love you, sweetheart.  No matter what happens you should feel this way about yourself.  You’re amazing.”  Sebastian says.  He sounds sleepy and content and his arms tighten up around you.

Chris kisses you.  It’s soft and tender and makes you feel so loved.  When he breaks away he pushes a lock of your hair behind your ear.  You close your eyes and just relax into the arms of both men.  Letting sleep come to take you.

“I think we should all move in with each other,” Chris says, pulling you back awake.

You sit up suddenly and stare down at both of them.

“Wait.  What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:
> 
> Seb: “Ai putea te rog să-mi faci sarmale la sfâșit de săptămână? Mi-e dor. Și mi-e poftă de scovergi. Cu zahăr pudră și cu gem.”  
> Mom: ”Sigur, dragul mamei. Oare o să-i placă și ei ce gătesc?”  
> Seb: ”Sper, mami. Nimeni nu gătește ca tine și ea e fată bună, o să se bucure că gustă ceva nou.”
> 
> Could you please make sarmale at the end of the week? I miss them. And I crave scovergi (a type of donuts that look like vulvas) with confectioner’s sugar and jam.”  
> ”Sure, darling. Will she be alright with my cooking as well?  
> “I hope so, mum. Nobody cooks better than you and she’s a good girl, she’s going to be happy she gets to taste something new.” 
> 
> ****
> 
> Mom: ”Dragule, de ce nu te îmbraci și tu mai elegant, că acum îți permiți!”  
> Seb: ”Nu vreau să port costum mereu, că îmi intră mereu chiloții în fund și mă enervează pe covorul roșu când trebuie să stau în picioare multă vreme. La sală nu o să mă duc în vecii vecilor la costum.”  
> Mom:”Nu zice nimeni să mergi în costum la sală, dar ai fost pozat în pantaloni de trening la aeroport. Ești vedetă de cinema, ce mama dracului.”  
> Seb: ”Cel mai mult îmi place când pot să port trening în filme.”
> 
> “Darling, you should dress more elegantly now, you can afford it!”  
> “I don’t want to always wear suits, they make my underwear ride up and I’m always uncomfortable on the red carpet. And I am not going to the gym in a suit.”  
> “No one says you should go to the gym in a suit, but you were photographed in shabby track pants at the airport. You’re a movie star now, what the hell.”  
> “Well, I still love it best when I can wear tracksuits in movies.”
> 
> ****
> 
> Seb: ”Mă duc la magazin, nu mai avem pâine și eu nu pot fără carbohidrați.”  
> Mom: ”Dacă găsești, adu și căpșuni te rog.”
> 
> “I’m going to the store, we are out of bread and I gotta have my carbs.”  
> “If you find some, please bring strawberries too.”
> 
> ***
> 
> Seb: ”Sigur că o iubesc, e o dulce și mă iubește și ea pe mine. Și nu încearcă să mă schimbe.”  
> “Of course I love her, she is a sweetheart and she loves me back. And she doesn’t try to change me.”
> 
> ****
> 
> Dacă ai știi ce îmbietor miroși… îmi vine să te mănânc de-a dreptul. În general îmi place să dau limbi, dar ție în special. Ești mereu așa de proaspătă și frumoasă, că-mi vine să nu te las să te îmbraci niciodată. Dacă ai fi numai a mea, te-aș ține numai goală în vârful patului. Și când vin acasă m-aș aștepta să te găsesc cu picioarele desfăcute, sus pe perete și fără chiloți. Dar vorbesc prostii. Și așa e destul de grav, mi-e pula ca de beton armat doar când mă gândesc la tine. Mă excit de numa’ când îți aud vocea la telefon și de când sunt cu tine zici că-mi bag socoteala la teasc, da imediat ce termin iar faci ceva de-mi înțepenește și fularul.
> 
> If you only knew how inviting you always smell to me, I could eat you for real. I like eating pussy in general, but I love eating yours. You’re always so fresh and beautiful, I’d never let you put clothes on. If you were only mine, I’d always keep you naked on top of the bed. And when I come home I’d expect to find you with your legs spread and up a wall, no panties on. But I’m raving; it’s bad enough my dick is like concrete every time I think of you. I get turned on like mad when I hear your voice and when I’m with you it’s like I’m always wringing myself dry but as soon as I think I’m spent you do something new that would give an erection even to a silk scarf.


	7. Testing the Waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You, Chris and Sebastian move your relationship into a new direction as Chris explores the boundaries of his sexuality.

“Chris.  We gotta stop making crazy decisions when we’re drunk.”  You say, looking down at him.

It’s around three in the morning, January first.  You, Chris and Sebastian, had spent the whole day together, finishing with tequila shots and marathon fucking.  You’d just started falling asleep when Chris suggested all three of you move in together.

To say you were a little shocked would be the equivalent of saying that the Pacific Ocean was a little wet.  It had completely blindsided you.  There had been no indication that either of them had even wanted to acknowledge this relationship publicly.  Let alone all three of you move in together.  How would that even work exactly?  You were dating them.  They weren’t dating each other.

“I dunno, babe.  Last decision we made turned out pretty good.”  Chris says, sitting up and stroking his hand up your side.

“Nope.  No.  We’re going to sleep.  You’ll have forgotten in the morning.”  You groan, lying back down and snuggling into Sebastian’s arms.

“I’m going to write a note,”  Chris says.  He gets out of bed and you watch him stumble around the bedroom completely naked looking for something to write with.

“Check my desk in the living room.”  Sebastian mumbles.  His arms tighten up around you and he rests his chin on the top of your head.

* * *

The next day you sleep later than both Chris and Sebastian.  The bed is empty and you stretch out enjoying all the extra space.  You’re just dozing off to sleep again when you hear the front door open and Chris and Sebastian blunder inside.  Stamping their feet and talking loudly.

Sebastian appears in the bedroom door and smiles when he sees you’re awake.  “Morning, beautiful.  You want some breakfast?  We still have those bagels.”

“Yes please.  Where were you guys?”  You ask.

“Just on the roof having a cigarette.  It snowed again.  I think our plane is going to be late leaving today.”  Sebastian explains.  “Which flavor?”

“Blueberry.”  

“You made me buy pumpkin spice.”  He complains.

You laugh.  “That was for you.  Because you’re my pumpkin.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes.  “Gee, thanks.”

You get up and use the bathroom while Sebastian fixes you something to eat.  You head down to the living room still completely naked.  Chris is lounging on the couch watching Cartoon Network while Sebastian makes coffee and toasts bagels in the kitchen.  They both grin at you when you enter.

“Hey, sweetheart.  Whatcha doin’?”  Chris asks.

“Gonna have some breakfast.”  You answer.

You grab your bagel and coffee from Seb.  He pulls you into a kiss and squeezes your ass.  You wander over to the couch and Chris pats his lap.  You sit down in it and pick at your bagel.  Chris’ hand slides up and down your thigh as you eat.

“I didn’t forget you know?”  Chris says.

“Chris…”  You groan.  

“What’s the matter?  Why don’t you want to move in with us?”  Chris asks.

You look over at Sebastian.  “I think you’ve forgotten half of the us hasn’t even expressed his opinion.”

Sebastian comes over to the couch and sits down.  “I don’t think I can do it, man.”

Chris looks at him startled.  Like he never expected either of you to think it was a bad idea to live together.  “Why not?  You could keep the place here.  We just live where we want to be when we want to be there.”

Sebastian sighs.  “It’s not that.”  He pauses and shakes his head like he’s trying to think of a way to phrase his thoughts.  “I know I want to be with y/n.  If it was just us, I’d be happy for us to live together.  And I’m totally fine with our arrangement.  Don’t get me wrong.  But right now I have a girlfriend and a best friend who I kind of have a crush on.  Sometimes we have sex and he gives me a little treat which is awesome.  If we lived together, I think I’d have a hard time separating my own feelings for you from what I can realistically expect when you do that.”

“Seb, I’m sorry,”  Chris says.  “I don’t mean to…”

Sebastian waves him off.  “It’s fine.  I encourage it.  I just need to figure myself out before I commit to that.  I mean how would it work anyway?  Would we have our own rooms?  Would we all share one bed?   Are we going public?  There’s a lot to think about.”

“I guess I didn’t really think about any of that.”  Chris sighs.  His fingers stroke up your side and over your breasts in an almost absent-minded way.

“You know what you want.  You don’t always think about what needs to happen for you to get that.”  You say, leaning back against Chris and kissing the corner of his mouth.

“Can I ask you something, Chris?”  Sebastian says, fiddling with his coffee cup.  “Why do you do it?  I mean, you’re straight.  I’d understand if you didn’t want to kiss me or - you know?  So why do it?”

Chris shifts in the chair and his he starts teasing your nipples with this tips of his fingers.  “I don’t know.”  He says.  There is a pause for a moment and he wraps his arms around you and squeezes, nuzzling into your hair.  “I overthink my feelings.  All the time.  I know I like women.  And you’re supposed to like women, right? That’s the default.  Scott’s gay he knows he’s gay because he likes men and not women.  So I dunno.  I think maybe I think of my own sexuality as black and white.  I like women so I’m straight.  But there have also been men I’ve been attracted to.  Not just ‘that is a good looking guy’ but actually I think I’d want to have sex with.  I know it’s the joke everyone makes but Tom Brady.  Hemsworth.   You.”  

He shakes his head and presses his cheek against your back.  He feels hot.  His skin flushed.

“Does it feel safer to explore it with her there?”  Sebastian asks.

“Yeah.  I think so.  I get swept up with the moment too.  There’s no chance to second guess myself.”  Chris says.  “I’m sorry, Seb.”

Sebastian reaches over and takes Chris’ hand giving it a squeeze.

* * *

The three of you head back to LA.  Despite saying you weren’t going to live together.  You end up basically living together.  You and Sebastian are always just at Chris’ place.  It’s a completely different direction than your relationship had been prior to New Years.  Before New Years you were a girl who dated two men separately, who on occasion would indulge in a threesome.  Now you were a girl who was dating two guys together.  

You had introduced Chris and Sebastian to your parents as your boyfriends.  They freaked out much more than you expected.  Normally they couldn’t care what you were doing.  They let you live your own life and supported your choices.  Though you know they bitched behind your back.  Your siblings liked to relay messages to you.

You decided you weren’t going to worry about them too much though.  They could accept it or not, it was happening.  As long as you didn’t have to hear about their disapproval, you didn’t care.

Chris and Sebastian seemed to stop caring if anyone found out about them too.  Or any other rumors starting up.  The number of times the three of you were photographed out in public was getting a little crazy.  Because you were just a PA you were often ignored and the Evanstan rumors blew up.  Normally Chris was really strongly affected by gossip, but now he just shrugged it off.

There was another shift in the relationship too.  You started noticing Sebastian and Chris being more and more familiar and close.  It was gradual.  You’d catch them brushing their hands over each other’s.  That turned into lingering touches, which turned into hand-holding, which in turn became light kisses.  

You weren’t sure how you felt about it if you were honest with yourself.  It was nice.  You loved them both so much.  You liked seeing them becoming a little more intimate.  Then you had these moments of pure jealousy.  They were for you not each other.  When that hit you, you often had to go and be far away from them and then beat the feelings into submission.  They were nasty and irrational.  You couldn’t expect them to share you while they denied their attraction to each other.

Mostly what you felt was fear.  It was so uncommon for a relationship to work when it was exploring a new part of your sexuality.  Especially when you over thought your feelings the way Chris did.  You were sure this would blow up.   You’d always been sure you were going to be the reason for this relationship imploding in on itself.  Now you felt like a helpless spectator on a ticking time bomb.

It all comes to ahead when you go into the bathroom one day after getting up.  The shower is running and you go in to join whoever is in there.  You stop dead at the sight before you.  Sebastian is pressed against the wall, his head back and eyes closed, Chris kissing his throat.  Chris has both their cocks in his hand stroking them as one, up and down.

You falter.  Not sure if you’re intruding or not.  Both men turn to face you.  Their eyes clouded with lust.

Sebastian reaches out to you, beckoning you to join them.  

“I - I…”  You stutter.  “You should explore this on your own.”  

“Don’t be stupid,”  Sebastian says, his voice is raw and gravelly.  He’s panting.  “We knew you’d get up soon.  We’re all in this together, baby.”

You step into the water and Sebastian pulls you against both of them and starts kissing you.  Chris’ mouth travels along Sebastian’s chest to yours and latches onto your breast.  You let your hand join Chris’ at their cocks.  Rolling the heads in your palm.  Precome is leaking from them both already, lubricating the movement of your hand.  

You push them away from you and drop to your knees and open your mouth.  The water from the shower spills over your lips and Chris and Sebastian shift to face you, still pressed together and guide both of their cocks into your mouth.  You can’t take either other of them far.  Your mouth is just too full.  But they stroke their shafts and you lick over their lengths taking as much as you can.

Sebastian pulls away and moves behind Chris.  You take Chris deep into the back of your throat and hollow your cheeks before pulling away.  Chris groans and his drops forward putting his hands on the wall over you.  You slide your hand up along his perineum and meet Sebastian’s.  His finger is pushed into Chris’ ass.  

Chris groans and starts panting.  He whimpers as he thrusts into your mouth.  “Oh shit.  I - I can’t -  I’m gonna…”

He comes.  It’s like nothing you’ve experienced.  You try to swallow but it spills from your lips and down your chin.  You spit down the drain and get to your feet.  Chris presses you to the wall and kisses you.  You feel breathless and lightheaded.  When he pulls away he moves to Sebastian kissing him as his hand travels between your legs and strokes your clit.  

When they pull apart Sebastian pulls you to him and lifts you.  You wrap your legs around his waist and he lowers you down on his cock and presses you against the wall.  He thrusts into you his mouth pressed against your throat.  Biting at your skin.

Chris drops to his knees behind you both.  You look down at him and watch as he spreads Sebastian’s ass cheeks and laps at him.  His hand strokes up between both of you.  Your whole body feels like it’s about to burst into flames.  You lose control, your legs tremble and pressure builds in your stomach, swirling inside of you.  You dig your fingers into Sebastian’s shoulders, your core clenches and you come.

“Seb, can I?”  Chris says.

Sebastian pulls out of you and lets you down.  He turns to face Chris and Chris takes Sebastian’s cock into his mouth.  It’s obvious he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but Sebastian is patient and also, so close.  

He directs Chris for a moment.  ‘Not so hard.  A little more tongue.  Yeah, like that.’  It’s not too long before he comes, spilling into Chris’ mouth.  Chris swallows it all, looking up at Sebastian.

Chris get’s to his feet.  He looks a little lost like he’s not sure what to do with himself now.  You pull him down and pepper kisses from his lips to the spot just below his ear.  He wraps his arms around you and squeezes you.  “I love you.”  He whispers.

“You feeling a bit weird?”  You ask.

He nods.  

“It’s okay, Chris,”  Sebastian says, patting Chris on the shoulder.  “If you need time still…”

Chris shakes his head.  “No.  I wanted it.  I want it.  I just…”

“I get it,”  Seb says.  He switches off the water and you all climb out of the shower.  Wrapping towels around yourselves.

You head into the bedroom and Sebastian sits on the edge of the bed.  “So this is what we are now?  All three of us?”  

“Can we move in with each other?”  Chris asks.

Sebastian looks at you and you nod.  Seb smiles.  “Sure, Chris.  We can live together.”


	8. Outings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are going really well for the three of you. Chris is exploring his sexuality more. You decide it’s time to out your relationship.

“Oh fuck, babe.   That’s it.”  Sebastian cries.  You were sitting on your knees between his legs with two of your fingers in his ass, stroking his prostate.  Chris stands beside you and you suck his cock, your tongue working up and down his length.  

Living with the two of them had ended up being the best decision you’d ever made.  You really just fit together.  They were still not quite sure about their place with each other.  This sexual awakening that Chris was having was a lot for him to come to terms with, but he wasn’t running from it.  He was just taking it slow.

They were both very comfortable with you though and they never held back affection.  It could be overwhelming always having someone who wanted to touch you and cuddle with you.  Sometimes it felt like doing household chores took three times as long because there was always someone who wanted to interrupt and sneak a kiss.

Sebastian grunts suddenly and his hips buck.  “Fuck.  Oh, fuck.”  He pants.

You not being the center of attention during sex was not the norm.  Even with them exploring their new sexual relationship, Chris and Sebastian usually made you the centerpiece.  Today you had decided it was going to be about them.

Chris pulls away from you and drops to his knees.  He takes Sebastian’s cock in his hand and starts to stroke it while he turns to you and pulls you into a kiss.  Sebastian’s legs start shaking and the shallow panting noise he makes is so primal it makes your cunt clench.  He reaches his hand out and when it touches on Chris’ thigh he grips it tightly.  His body jerks up and he comes.  His cock pulses.  Come coats his abdomen.  You pull your fingers free and grabbed the washcloth from the bedside table wiping your fingers and cleaning Sebastian’s stomach.

Sebastian sits up and lunges at Chris, kissing him fiercely and pushing him backwards so he was lying sideways across the bed.  He mimics the position you were in with him.  He fumbles on the bed for the lube and when he finally grabs it, he squirts some into his hand.

He strokes his fingers over Chris’ asshole and when Chris mewls, Sebastian pushes a finger inside of him.  Chris moans and you move beside him, bend over and start sucking his cock.  

“Feels good, right?”  Sebastian asks.

“Uh huh.” Chris pants.

“You want to be inside your girl?”  Sebastian asks.

“Oh fuck, yes.” Chris moans.

You decide to take that as instruction and climb on top of Chris, guiding his cock inside of you.  You slowly rolled your hips against him, pressing your body tightly against his.  You tease your tongue over his neck and nibble at his earlobe.

“I want you inside me too, Chris.  I want to be inside of you.  To fuck your ass like you sometimes let me fuck your mouth.”  Sebastian growls.

Chris’ breathing shallows.  He whimpers as he pants.  Your body rises and falls with the rapid movement of his chest.  “Fuck.  Fuck…  I can’t…”

“Come inside me, Chris.  You know you want to.”  You purr.

“But you haven’t…”  Chris pants.  “You still need to…”

“It’s okay.  Just let go.”

He closes his eyes and his whole body clenches up.  You feel the pulse of his cock as he releases inside of you.  You push yourself up a little and start kissing Chris, your tongue licking over the corner of his lips.

Sebastian moves away from you both for just a moment and then his arms wrap around your waist and he drags you off Chris, and tosses you onto the mattress.  You squeal and start giggling as he pushes your legs up. Your giggles are quickly stifled as he presses his face to your cunt and starts licking and sucking up your folds.  He draws tight circles on your clit with the point of his tongue before returning to placing open mouth kisses on your pussy.

His fingers slide inside of you and he spreads them, stretching your entrance before corkscrewing his hand and pushing deep inside of you.   He presses down on your g-spot and starts stroking them hard over it.

You come apart. Your orgasm crashing down over you.  Lights pop behind your eyes and you gush for him.

The three of you crawl up so your heads are on the pillows and just collapse down together.  Completely spent.  Each of you sharing kisses with one and then another.

Chris draws circles on your skin with the tips of his fingers.  “I’m going to miss you guys for the next couple of weeks.”

He was heading home to Boston.  You had slowly been outing your relationship to people. You had started with your parents.  Then some friends.  Your friends had been more supportive than your parents had been.  At least to your face.  Sebastian had then told his dad before going back to New York and telling his mom.  They had been very not okay, but after a few weeks, he’d been able to talk them around.  Mostly Sebastian’s parents just wanted him to live a happy life.  If he was happy they were happy.

Tomorrow Chris was going home to tell his family.  He was confident it would be fine. Between him and his siblings there had been a lot of things his parents had had to accept about their children.  He figured this was not the most shocking.

“You won’t miss us.  You’ll be in Boston with your family.”  You tease.  

Chris tickles you and you kick him in the thigh.  “I still will.  We’ll skype.”

“You sure you want to do the red carpet outing when you get back?”  You ask. That was the other plan for the three of you.  Chris was presenting at the People’s Choice Awards.  He’d organized to take you and Seb as his dates.  This was it.  This was when everyone would know.  It freaked you out thinking about it.

“Yeah.  I mean, I’m scared for sure, but I think the truth is better than any rumors.”  Chris answered.

“You worried, babe?”  Sebastian asks.

You laugh.  “What do I have to be worried about?  I’m not the one who’s seriously bending their morality clause in their Marvel contracts.”

* * *

Chris leaves the next day and you and Sebastian take the time to just enjoy each other.   One problem with living with your two lovers is neither gets that quality alone time very often.  Chris starts off skyping regularly.  He was his usual self, happy and laughing and wanting you to do dirty things for him.  He says his mom didn’t take it well, but that she’d come around.

Over the course of the next few weeks, he skypes less and for shorter periods of time.  He seems more and more sullen each time you speak to him and he won’t tell either you or Sebastian what’s wrong.  It starts to fill you with dread and you find yourself waking up feeling stressed and nauseated about it each day.  Your body aches all over and all you can think is that Chris is going to return home and break up with you.  Or give you an ultimatum.

You and Sebastian are sitting around waiting for him to get home when you hear the front door open.  Chris slouches into the room and he looks broken and miserable.  Sebastian reacts faster than you.  He jumps to his feet and rushes to Chris and Chris falls into him, clinging to Seb like he’ll drown if he lets go.

“What’s wrong, Chris?”  You ask as you reach him.  You stroke your hand up and down his back.

Chris shakes his head and starts kissing Sebastian’s neck.  “I need you. Please.  I just – I need you.”

“Of course, Chris,”  Sebastian says.

The three of you walk to the bedroom, shedding clothes in the hallway as you go.  Chris doesn’t seem to know what he wants exactly.  He moves from touching you to Sebastian quickly. It’s more like the thing he wants most is just the that you are both there.

“Chris, what do you want?”  Sebastian asks.

“I want – Seb can you – I want you to fuck me.”  Chris stutters.

Sebastian wraps his arms around Chris and strokes his hands through his hair. “Are you sure?  Chris.  If you’re not ready we shouldn’t rush it. Whatever happened with your family…”

“No, I want it.  I want to try it.”  Chris says.

You stroke your hand down Chris’ thigh.  “Do you want me to go?  Do this with him alone?”  You ask.

Chris grabs your arm.  “No, please.  I need you both.”

You kiss the back of his neck and wrap your arms around him too.  So both you and Sebastian are spooning Chris between you.  “We’re right here, Chris.  Why don’t you tell us what happened?”  You ask.

Chris just shakes his head and buries his face in Sebastian’s neck.

You and Sebastian start stroking and kissing Chris all over.  As he relaxes to your touches Sebastian rolls him onto his back and moves on top of him.  They kiss and grind against each other.    You retrieve the lube for Sebastian and he coats his fingers in it and pushes first one and then the other into Chris ass.  You get up and head to the bathroom returning with a warm washer.

Sebastian is spreading his fingers in Chris’ ass and he’s moaning and arching his back up.  “Tell me when you think you’re ready, Chris,” Sebastian says.

“I am.  I want you.”  Chris groans.

Sebastian removes his fingers and wipes them clean.  You pour lube into the palm of your hand and start coating Sebastian’s cock with it. Sebastian smiles and kisses you before squirting more down Chris’ ass cheeks.

Sebastian leans over Chris and they kiss.  He presses his cock against Chris’ asshole and just teases him with it.  “What’s it feel like, Seb?” Chris asks.

Sebastian laughs.  “Chris, I’ve never fucked a guy before.  You’re gonna to have to tell me.”

“Really?” Chris asks.

“Yeah.  I know I act like I know what I’m doing but I really don’t.  I’ve kissed other guys and blown a few and vice versa but I’ve pretty much been with girls exclusively until you.  Thanks for assuming I’m a catcher though, pal.”  Sebastian answers, patting him on the leg.  

“Sorry… sorry… I didn’t… I just thought…”  Chris stammered.

Sebastian silenced him with a kiss.  “Don’t worry.  Everyone always does.  Do you not want to do this?  Did you want me to be the first one to try it?”

“No. I want it.  I want it, Seb.”

Sebastian slowly eases his cock into Chris.  Chris whimpers and you lie down in the crook of his arm.  He rests hooks his arm around you and rests his hand on your ass.  As Seb slowly enters him Chris digs his fingers into your flesh.  

As Chris relaxes Sebastian starts to thrust.  Watching them is like nothing else.  They kiss, and Sebastian rests one hand on Chris’ chest in a way he’d never do to you.  He isn’t worried about hurting him with his strength.  His fingers dig into Chris’ shoulder as his thrusts into him.  Both men have been working out to get into their superhero bodies, and the way their muscles ripple and clench lined up with each other is possibly the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.  

They are both making sounds of pure, primal enjoyment.  Moaning and grunting as they move against each other.

“Let me eat you out, babe.”  Chris groans.

You get up and straddle his face.  He laps at you and you lean towards Sebastian and kiss him so that all three of you are connected.

Sebastian pulls out of Chris and Chris moves, pushing you off him.   He sits up and starts kissing you.  It is so fierce and full of need.  You push your hands into his hair and pull him down on top of you.  Without breaking your kiss he lines himself up and enters you.  You clench around his cock.  Sebastian moves behind Chris and for a moment Chris is pushed deeper inside of you as Sebastian pushes inside of Chris.

Chris starts to thrust.  Sebastian’s hands go to Chris’ shoulders and you link your fingers with his as Chris moves his hips controlling both how deep he penetrates both you and himself.  He grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls your head back giving him easier access to your throat which he starts sucking and biting it.  His beard tickling over your skin.

Your whole body buzzes and the noises the three of you make fill the room, echoing off the walls.

Chris’ body seizes up, his hand clenches in your hair.  “Fuck.”  He groans and he empties inside of you.

You slip your hand between your bodies as his cock pulses and start circling it over your clit, bring yourself over with him.

Sebastian pulls out of Chris and sits back frantically stroking his cock. Chris rolls off you to face him.  He pushes him back on the bed and straddles Sebastian they kiss and Chris guides Sebastian’s cock back into his ass.  You sit and finger yourself as you watch them fuck. They kiss and nip at each other.  Chris is completely in control, bouncing on Sebastian.  His thigh muscles and abs are tense.  Sweat drips from his brow.

Chris makes a kind of high pitched squeak sound and his body clenches, every muscle taut and his legs shake.  A second orgasm hitting him. Sebastian digs his fingers into Chris’ thigh, holding on for dear life.  He comes with a grunt slipping from Chris’ ass as he does, spilling over both Chris and himself.

Chris collapses off Sebastian and lies on his back panting.  “I love you guys, you know that right?”  He says.

You curl up against him, hooking your leg over his waist.   “I love you too.”  You whisper.

Sebastian sits up and blinks down at Chris.  “Ah, Chris?  You’ve never actually said that to me before.”

Chris takes Sebastian’s hand in his.   “I love you, Seb.”  He says.  

* * *

Over the next few days leading up to your public outing at the People’s Choice Awards things settle down.  Whatever it was that happened in Boston seems to get pushed aside.   Chris is happy and content back with the two of you.   Once again becoming his sweet but slightly demanding self.

Your stress-induced nausea doesn’t abate though.  If anything it gets worse.  On the day of the awards, you wake up feeling awful.  You try swallowing air to hold back actually vomiting and hope that a shower will help ease it.  Instead, you’ve barely turned the water on before you’ve collapsed on the floor in front of the toilet and heaved into it.

Sebastian comes up behind you.  He crouches behind you, pulls your hair off your face and rubs your back as you empty your stomach contents into the bowl.  When you finally stop throwing up Sebastian helps you to your feet and hits the flush.

“You pregnant?”  He teases.

“Shut up, Bas.  You are.”  You say, grabbing your toothbrush and starting to brush your teeth to get the taste of sick from your mouth.

“Something you ate?”  He asks.

You shake your head.  “Stress.  I feel super tense and achy all over. I am dreading the reaction to tonight.”

“I thought you were all cool about it,”  Sebastian says.

You spit the toothpaste out and rinse your mouth.  “Nope.  I think we should do it.  Facts are better than rumors, but I’m super scared about what this will mean for the two of you.  I’ve set all my social media to private in preparation too.  But you and Chris are going to get reamed out on Twitter and Instagram.”

Chris comes into the room as you step into the shower.  “What’s going on?”  He asks.

“She’s pregnant.  Congratulations, dad.”  Sebastian says, pulling his pants off and stepping into the shower with you.

“Bas!” You cry.  “That isn’t funny.”

Chris climbs into the shower too and rubs your belly.  “Hello in there baby.  I can’t wait to meet you.”

You punch him in the shoulder, not holding back at all.

“Ow, that really hurt,”  Chris says, rubbing the spot you just hit him.

* * *

The three of you get ready to go to the awards.  A team of people actually come around to do hair and makeup and make sure every piece of clothing is sitting exactly where it’s supposed to.  Chris and Sebastian both look amazing.  Chris is wearing a navy Dolce three-piece suit.  It has a faint shimmer and fits him perfectly. Sebastian is in a black two-piece Burberry suit with a black shirt and black tie.  He has slicked his hair back but a stray strand keeps falling over his eye.  It might be deliberate but he’d never admit to that.

You pile into the back of the limo.  You in the middle, wedged between your two boys.  Sebastian is surprisingly relaxed.  He reclines back in his seat his legs stretched out and his arm slung over your shoulder.  Chris, on the other hand, has become a complete nervous wreck.

The nerves had started when people came to dress him.  He kept snapping at them but generally kept it at bay.

In the back of the car with just the three of you, he starts to fall apart. He grips your hand and by the time you’re a block from the venue his head is between his legs and he’s chanting ‘I can’t.’  Over and over.

You rub his back but you have no idea what to say to make this okay for him.

“Chris. It’s fine.  We won’t do it.  You get out alone.  We’ll have the driver take us home.  We don’t need to do anything.”  Sebastian says.

Chris looks at you helplessly and you nod your head.  When the car pulls up the driver lets him and out and you watch as he composes himself and starts to walk the carpet as the car pulls away.

You head home and both you and Sebastian change out of your clothes and into sweats.  You make popcorn and sit and watch the show.  Chris looks fine.  He has some nerves presenting the award.  Otherwise, it goes smoothly.

You both wait.  By one he isn’t home so you head to bed together.  Your stomach is in knots.

The next day Chris doesn’t return home until midday.  He looks miserable when he comes in and you both go to hug him despite how hurt and angry you are about the fact he didn’t come home and he didn’t call you.  He shrugs you away.

“I can’t do this.”  He says.  “I love you, so much.  I thought I could.  I thought the fact I loved you would mean I wouldn’t get affected by what people say.  But I do.  When I was home… the things they said about me.  About both of you.  I can’t hear that from everyone.  I’m not okay with that.”

It feels like your heart has stopped.  “Chris.  We should talk about this.”  Sebastian says.

Chris shakes his head.  “There’s nothing to talk about.  I know you both don’t have anywhere to live here.  I’ll go home to Boston.  You can stay here while you find somewhere.  I’ll just go pack a few things.”

You step in front of him and look up at him, your lip quivering as you try to hold back your tears.  “You said – you said you wouldn’t do this to me.  Why couldn’t you just have said you didn’t want me to begin with?”

He cups your face in his hand.  “Because I did want you.  I do want you.  But you can’t choose.  So I’m opting out.  It’s better if I do this.”

You slap him.  The sound of the crack echoes through the room.  “It would have been better if you did this before I was in love with you. You fucking asshole.”

He doesn’t react.  “I’m sorry.  I made a mistake.”

Sebastian comes up behind you and puts his arms around your shoulders.  “It’s okay, babe.  It will be okay.”

You turn in Sebastian’s arms and start sobbing against his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Chris.  Well just pack some things and head back to New York.  I don’t really have anything here.  It’s just her stuff from her old apartment and most of that’s in boxes.  Can you ship them to me?”  Sebastian says.

Chris nods.  “I know you’re going to be angry at me for a long time.  I deserve it.  But I do love you both.  I want to be friends again. I’m not just saying that.  We were friends once.”

He turns back to the front door.  “Take as long as you need.  If you need more than today, text me.  I’ll grab some clothes and stay at a hotel.”

* * *

You pack some suitcases and head to New York with Sebastian.  New York isn’t the ideal place for you to live with your job, but you can make it work.  You and Sebastian just drift in a state of melancholy.  You both miss Chris.  You love being with Seb, you really do.  You know you can make it work with him, but right now it’s like you’re both in mourning.

Your nausea doesn’t go away.  In fact, it only gets worse.  You start thinking maybe you are actually pregnant.   You try and remember when you last had your period and can’t think of an exact date.  While Sebastian is out working out one morning you head to the pharmacy and pick up a test.

You take it home and pee on the stick and right away both lines turn pink.  There’s no dramatic wait while you watch the clock.  Just as soon as the stick is soaked the lines are there.

You go into the living room and sit.  Holding the test and staring into space.

When Sebastian gets home he burst through the door, a smile spread across his face.  “Hey, babe.”  He says warmly.  When he notices how blank you look, his features change.  His forehead creases and he frowns.  “What’s the matter?”

You hold up the pregnancy test and don’t actually say anything.

He doesn’t say anything for a second.  He just stands there staring at the stick in your hands.  Eventually, he walks over and sits beside you, putting his arm around your shoulder and squeezing you.  “Oh shit.”  He sighs.


	9. The Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’ve discovered that you’re pregnant. Now you just need to work out who the father is.

“Oh shit.”

Sebastian’s words hang in the air pushing down on you both.  You feel like the biggest idiot in the world.  After all your hesitation and doubts you’d let them talk you into dating them both just to have it blow up in your face.  Exactly how you predicted.  Now you were living in a city that wasn’t your home.  Chris had left you.  And you were pregnant.  Pregnant and you didn’t even know who the father was.

“You were on birth control,”  Sebastian says.  You’re not sure if it’s a question or a statement.

“Yes.  Of course, I was. I still am.  Fuck.”  You groan.  “Sebastian, what do I do?  I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!”

Sebastian rubs your back.  “It’ll be okay, babe.  We have each other.  I love you and whatever you want to do here I’ll support you.”

“Stop being so nice!”  You cry and break down into tears.

He holds you as you sob against his chest.  “What if it’s Chris’?” You say as you cry against him.

“It’s not,”  Sebastian says with no hesitation.

“But what if…”

Sebastian tilts your face to look at him.  “It’s not.  Even if biologically it is; it’s not.  It’s mine.  He can’t force you to take a DNA test.  If you want to have the baby, we put my name on the birth certificate.  It’s mine.  I’m not letting him use this baby as a way to convince you to leave me for him.  He chose to break up with us.  He can fucking live with the fucking consequences.”

His words are laced with rage and fear.   Up until now, he’d been the calm one.  Being strong for you because even though he lost Chris too, you had been much further down the rabbit hole than him.  All his anger about what Chris did.  All the fear that you’d only chosen to be with him because it was the only option, festering under the surface.  All coming out now at this perceived threat to your relationship.

You lean into him and kiss him.  It’s deep and passionate.  Your hands going to his hair and bunching it in your fists.

“I love you, Seb.”  You say firmly.

He leans his forehead against yours and his fingers stroke over your stomach.  “What do you want to do?  Do you want to have it?”  He asks.

You shake your head and lie down in his lap.  “I don’t know.  I want Chris not to have done this to us.”

His hands go to your hair, stroking it.  “I know.  Me too.”

“What do you want me to do?”  You ask.

“I can’t make this decision for you, hon.”

You groan rolling over and looking up at him.  “You could at least tell me if you want to be a father now or not.”

“Babe.  The timing is fucking terrible, but I’ve got you.”  He says.  “I want to have kids with you.  I’ve known that for a while now.  If you want to keep it then we are in this together.  If the timing is too much or you’re not ready, I will support that.  But please, don’t let the fear that it’s Chris’ or me not wanting to be a dad make this decision for you.  It’s not Chris’.  I’m the father.  I just am.”

* * *

You debate all the options.  What having this baby would mean.  Did you want a child right now?  Were you ready for parenthood?  How having an abortion might affect you.  Was adoption an option?

In the end, you’d decided to go through with it.  You love Sebastian.  What Chris had done didn’t change that.  If Chris hadn’t have broken up with you, there would be no question.  You would have it.  So why should it be different now?

Also, there was this tiny little hope that if Chris found out he might want to fix things.  It was stupid and childish, but it was there.  Because as much as you hated him for what he did, you loved him still.  You loved him and you wanted him to realize what a huge mistake he’d made.

You still wore the jewelry he gave you.  The Pandora bracelet and the Trinity ring he and Sebastian had bought you.  You kept thinking every day when you got up that you should stop putting them on.  Every day you did anyway.

Despite that little hope you held that Chris would hear you were pregnant and realize his mistake, a more logical part of you knew how stupid that was.  So you didn’t tell him.  You didn’t want that to be the reason he came back.  Or worse you didn’t want for him to try and bully his way into being a part of this baby’s life and still not want you.

Sebastian took on the role of upcoming father like he was born for it.  He made sure the apartment was stocked with saltines for when you were too sick to stomach food.  He went to every doctor’s appointment.  When he heard the baby’s heartbeat he actually cried.  You never once doubted that he hadn’t fully accepted that this was his child.

You even started discussing getting married.  Something that had never come up before because of the practical impossibility of marrying two men.  Now it was something you could actually do.

By the time you were four months pregnant you were showing just a little and you felt good.  No more morning sickness.  You had more energy.  Your hair was thick and your nails were stronger than they’d ever been.  You just felt good.

Well good except for the fact that you and he had to go to Atlanta for the filming of Infinity War.  You were originally going to PA for Joe Russo, but with the pregnancy, it was just too much time you’d be required to be there.   So he and Sebastian had traded PAs.  Sebastian’s PA was pretty pleased with the outcome.  He got more work.  You weren’t as happy because working as a PA for your boyfriend could get frustrating.

Working in the heat, having to get up super early in the mornings and staying late also proved to be physically taxing.  But you did your job with minimal complaints.

One other problem was almost every scene Sebastian was in, Chris was too.  He was always around.  He at least had the decency to look miserable.  You hid your growing belly from him in oversized t-shirts.  Not that it worked.  Rumours spread.  People speculated.  He heard.

He waited for you outside Sebastian’s trailer.  You had just come back from a coffee run and popped out from around the corner causing you to jump and spill iced latte all down your front.

“Jesus fucking Christ!  What the fuck is wrong with you?”  You yell, shaking the drink from your skin.

“Is it true?”  He asks.

“Is what true?”

He looks at you and you can’t tell if he’s angry or sad.  “You’re pregnant?”

“Not that it’s any of your business but yes.”  You go to push past him and he grabs your arm.

“How far?”  He asks.

“That’s none of your business.”  You snarl.  “You don’t get to have an input on me or my life anymore.   Using your words, you ‘opted out’.”  You try shaking him off but his grip tightens around your arm.

“Tell me how far along you are!”  He yells.

You flinch and for a moment you consider lying to him.  Or telling him he can go fuck himself.  But you realize he’s going to find out one way or the other.  It’s not something that can remain a secret forever.  “Four months.”

You wait for him to do the math and his face falls.  “You weren’t even going to tell me?”

“Why should I?”  You try to shake him free again.  He pushes you up against the wall of the trailer and you start to wonder if maybe you should actually be scared of him.  The man you loved.  That you still loved.  Who was sweet and gentle and over-excitable.  Was he actually contemplating hurting you right now?

“It could be mine and you don’t think I have a right to know?”  He hisses.

“It’s not yours.”

“You can’t know that.  I’m not an idiot.”  He snaps.

You try shaking him off again.  “It’s not yours, Chris.  Let me got.  You’re hurting me.”

“Chris.  What’re you doin’, man?”  Sebastian appears around the corner and stands, staring at you both.

“You’ve been lying to me.”  The hurt in his voice is obvious.  He lets you go and you rush over to Sebastian who puts an arm around your waist protectively.

“It’s not your kid, Chris.  We decided that.  We’re not doing a DNA test.  It’s mine.  You lost your say when left us.  Got it?”  Sebastian snaps.

“You can’t just do that.”  Chris cries.  “If she’s carrying my kid, then I get to be a part of that.”

“Well go ahead and try and prove that it’s yours.  You never admitted to being with her.  You were too chicken shit to do that remember?”

Chris looks at you broken.  “Please don’t do this to me.  I still love you.  It’s alright for you, you have each other.  I’m alone.”

“Oh, it’s been so easy for us.”  You yell.  “Fuck you, Chris.  If you love us, beg us to take you back.  Go out and tell everyone that you do.  Prove it.  Maybe… just maybe if you can do that, we’ll take you back and then it will be our baby.  Until then fuck off.”

You storm into the trailer and pull off your soaked shirt.  You really want to take a shower but Chris made you spill the coffee which means you have to go back to Starbucks.  It was going to throw your whole day behind.  Not to mention you were really close to breaking down into tears.

You opt for angry rather than sad.  You step into the bathroom and grab a washcloth.  Wetting it and wiping yourself down.  You can still hear Chris and Sebastian talking outside, but they’ve stopped yelling so you can’t hear what they’re saying.  After you’re clean you go and grab one of Sebastian’s spare t-shirts from the closet.  You head for the door intent on going back to Starbucks when you collide with Sebastian.

He catches you in his arms.  “Hey, where’re you going?”  He asks.

You feel frantic and close to tears and when you speak the words come out quickly but with an obvious shake.  “He made me spill your coffee.  I need to go get you another one.”

Sebastian wraps his arms around you, holding you against him.  “Hey, hey, hey.  Forget about that.  Are you okay?”

“I have a job to do.”

“Sweetheart.  I don’t care about the coffee.  Just stop for a second.”  He leans down and kisses you, his lips touch on yours and suddenly all you want is him.

You start scrambling at his clothes, pulling his shirt off over his head, and quickly working his fly open.  He matches your frantic pace.  It’s as if all of a sudden what you both need is to belong to each other.

He pushes your shorts and panties down in one go and lifts you on the table.  His cock presses against your pussy, sliding up and down between your folds.  The head of his cock presses against your clit and you hum into Sebastian’s mouth for a moment before it slides away again.  Only to then return again.  He massages your breasts in his large hands.  Each part of you being stimulated just increases that feeling of need and urgency in you.  You break the kiss, tilting your head back and he latches onto your throat.

“I need you inside of me.”  You moan, grinding your hips against him.

He slides his cock up and down once more and on the next upstroke, he enters you.  You move against each other rapidly.  Each thrust eliciting a grunt from either yourself or him.  You lean back, lying down on the table, your back arched and your head back.

Sebastian grabs your hips and rests one hand on your stomach.  He pounds into you, but each thrust is accompanied by the roll of his hips.   You bring your fingers to your clit.  It’s swollen and sensitive and only a few quick swipes of your fingertips sends you over.  You cry out clenching around his cock.  It sends him over, spilling inside of you.

He slips out of you and you sit up, leaning your head against his chest.  He leans down and kisses the top of you head his hands rubbing up and down you back.

“Are we doing the wrong thing, Seb?”  You ask.

“I don’t know.  Honestly, I don’t think there’s a lot of advice for this particular situation.”  Seb sighs.  “Maybe we should be more patient with him.”

“After what he did?”  You groan, pushing Sebastian away from you and getting up.  You pick up your shorts and Sebastian grabs your hand.  “Come take a shower first.”

“I have work to do.”

He laughs.  “No you don’t.  You’re having the day off.  I’m worried about you, babe.”

“Seb…”  You groan.

He starts dragging you to the bathroom.  “No.  Day off.  I can handle myself for the day.”

He starts the water up and pulls your shirt up over your head.  “I know you’re not going to want to hear this.  And I also am aware that maybe I’m being a little too forgiving.”  Sebastian says.  “But Chris is hurting. I don’t think he wanted to break up with us.  Especially not with you.  His anxiety can get too much.  Maybe if we just let him back into our lives a little, maybe he’ll come around.  At the very least we can all get some closure.”

You both step into the shower.  As the hot water streams down your skin, he rubs your back, slowly and tenderly working out the knots.  “I miss him, Sebba.  I don’t want you to think you’re not enough for me.   You’re enough for me.  I don’t need two boyfriends.  I just miss him.  I miss him being in my life at all.  I wish that I never drank that tequila.  I wish I wasn’t such a stupid fucking slut.”

He turns you in his arms and looks into your eyes.  “Hey stop that.  You aren’t any of those things.  It happened and we were happy.  We were so happy.  We had that.  Don’t try and erase it because right now things are a mess and you’re hurting.”  He kisses the top of your head.  “What do you think?  Should we let him back in?”

“As long as he knows that that doesn’t guarantee that he gets to be part of this baby’s life.  He has to prove himself.”  You say.

“Sounds fair.  We go slow.  Baby steps.”  He agrees.  “But first I want you to have a nap.  You’re so stressed.  I’m a little worried about you.”

You nod your head and step out of the shower.  “Okay.”

You and Sebastian dry off and you pull his t-shirt back on.  He lies down with you and holds you while you drift off to sleep.


	10. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Seb work at healing things with Chris so he can be a part of the babies life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for this chapter. Check fic tags if you have triggers.

“You guys wanted to talk to me?”  Chris asks, hesitantly opening the door to Sebastian’s trailer.

You’re both sitting at the table.  You’d spent the week just going about work and watching him.  Trying to gauge his attitude.  He’d been down.   It was understandable.  You all were, but he was the one who might be having to watch another man raise his own kid.

Besides miserable, he’d been quiet.  He hadn’t brought it up again.  He just watched you both.  Occasionally you’d think he was going to try and bring it up again, but he never did.

“Sit down, Chris,”  Sebastian says, gesturing opposite you both.

Chris takes a seat and looks at you both.  You can’t tell if he’s hopeful or terrified.

“Chris,”  Sebastian says, after letting out a long breath. “What you did …”

“I know.  I know.”  Chris interrupts.  “I just … I couldn’t see how it could possibly work anymore.  It hit me all at once.”

Sebastian rubs the bridge of his nose.  “Let us say what we need to say.”

Chris looks suitably abashed and stares at his hands.  “Sorry.”

“It killed us, man.  You know how hard you pushed her for this.  She never wanted to go down the poly path.  But you made her think it would work.  Then you pull this shit…” Sebastian shakes his head and runs his hands through his hair.  “You didn’t even have the decency to come talk to us about why you were scared.  You just kicked us out of your house.  Not long after you pushed really hard for us to move in, I might add.”

“I know.  It’s just… if you knew what they said.”  Chris says.  “I didn’t want you to have to hear that from everyone.”

“You didn’t even talk to us about it, Chris.”  Sebastian snaps.  Chris tries to interrupt again but Sebastian cuts him off.  “It doesn’t matter why.  It’s what you did.  Your self-image was more important than us.  You didn’t want to talk about it and we went to New York completely shattered.  Then we found out about the baby.  Do you know how hard that was for us?   For her?  Think about it for one second.  Put yourself in her shoes.  She’s been dumped, she’s slunk off tail between her legs to a city that isn’t her home and then she finds out she’s pregnant and the father may be the guy who just destroyed her life.”

Chris looks over to you.  “I’m so sorry.  Please believe me when I say I was trying to save you from being hurt.”

You scoff.  “You did a stellar job there, Chris.  A+ for effort.”  You feel Sebastian’s hand on your knee and you fall silent.

“One of the many, many things you lost when you kicked us out was our trust.  We decided, to avoid any further pain that this baby is my baby.  Maybe it is anyway, and this is all moot.  But regardless, Chris; you wanted out of our lives.  You’re off the hook.”  Sebastian explains.

Chris looks like he’s going to cry and a little vindictive piece of you hopes he does.  You hope he’s really hurt.  That he’s finally getting that taste of the pain he dealt you both.

He wipes his eyes.  “Please don’t do this to me.  I know I hurt you.  I know.  But this … you can’t do this…”

“Why shouldn’t we?  Go find someone you actually want to be with to have kids with.”  You snap.

“Sweetheart… I don’t not want to be with you.  I want to be with you.  Just… tell me how… how was it supposed to work?”  He pleads.

You lose it.  Just completely seeing red.  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?  You convinced me it would work!”  You yell.

Chris looks ashamed.  ‘Good.’ You think as you sit there seething.

“It’s beside the point.  We live in different cities.  Unless you want to do some fucking really hard work at winning us both back.  And fuck man… it would take a lot of convincing.  Because I am not going through that again.  It would be impossible for you to be a part of this the way you want to.”  Sebastian explains.

Chris starts crying.  He doesn’t try and hide it, tears just stream down his eyes.  “So you’re just going to cut me out?”

Sebastian sits back and looks at you and then back to Chris.  “We thought we’d let you have a chance to be friends again.  We weren’t going to do that originally.  It hurt too much. But if you can not be a total douche about this we can try to get back to who we were before we went down the path we went.  If we can do that, then you can be Uncle Chris.  And we’ll let them stay with you for sleepovers when they get older.  But you’ll never be their dad.  Do you understand that?  And we will never do a paternity test.  That’s the best offer you’re going to get from us.  If you aren’t with us then this baby isn’t yours.”

Chris wipes his eyes, but he doesn’t stop crying.  “Sebastian… please…”  He implores.  “Babe…”

“That’s the deal, Chris.  I know you really want this kid to be yours.  I know you really want to be a dad.  You should have thought about that before.”  Sebastian says, firmly.

Chris nods and looks defeated.  “Okay.”  He says quietly.  He gets to his feet.  “Okay.”  He repeats.  He looks back at both of you and leaves.  You aren’t sure what that means.  If he just needs to think.  Or if he’s agreeing.  Or maybe he’s planning to make trouble.  You turn back to Sebastian and burst into tears.

* * *

Working in Atlanta in the middle of summer while you’re pregnant turns out to be horrendous.  You feel constantly dehydrated and stressed.  Sometimes to the point of being lightheaded.  You hide it from Sebastian as much as you can.  While the money to pay you is actually coming from Marvel he’s still your boss and if he goes all boyfriend mode on you, then you’ll basically just be being paid to be his boyfriend.

The only thing that really makes it bearable is the change in Chris.  He’s obviously trying to put things right.  The speed it took before you started feeling like he was Chris again and not just the guy who fucked you over and broke your heart was a little startling.  But really deep down, you wanted him.  You loved him.  The pain was still there, but each day you spent with him as your friend it wasn’t all-consuming.  After a few weeks, it wasn’t even the first thing you thought when you saw him.

He got word that you and Seb had the day off to have an obstetrics appointment.  You were going for the routine check-up stuff, but it had gotten to the point that you could find out the sex.  That on top of the fact you had started showing had made Sebastian really excited.  He was touching your stomach all the time now.

He’d heard at this level of the pregnancy that others might be able to feel the baby’s kicks and he wanted to feel it so badly.  Unfortunately, the little flutters you felt in your stomach were small and infrequent and you still weren’t always sure that it was the baby.

Chris approached you while you were both headed to the car at the end of a day on set.  “You’re going to have an ultrasound tomorrow?”  He asks, without greeting.

“Yeah.  It’s a big one.  Finding out the sex.”  Sebastian says excitedly.

Chris looks to you.  His face reminds you of a hopeful puppy.  “Do you think I could come too?”

You look at Sebastian and he frowns.  “Aren’t you needed on set?”

“Yeah, but I could move it around.  I’d really like to be there.”  Chris pleads.

You shake your head.  “I - I’m not there yet, Chris.  Going with you would feel too much like how we were before.  It’s too happy family.”

His face falls.  “Right.  Of course.”

You take his hand.  “Give me time.”

Chris shakes his head and forces a smile.  “Hey, no.  It’s fine, babe.  I get it.  I - I’ll see you after.  Okay?”

He leans in and kisses your cheek and you wrap your arms around his neck and squeeze him.  The way he smells and feels against you is so familiar and good.  It makes your heart hurt.

You break away and look up at him and that pang of pain you just felt in your chest is reflected back at you in his face.  He runs his palm over your cheek.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You climb in the car with Sebastian and as he pulls out of the parking lot he looks at you and puts his hand on your thigh.  “You want him back don’t you?”

You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head.  “You’re enough for me.  You are.”

He sighs and when he speaks his voice is soft and understanding.  “That’s not what I asked.”

“I miss him.  But I choose you.  And not as he is now.  I don’t want to just let him back to go back to being a secret.  I just - I wish everything had played out differently.  I wish I knew what happened when he went home.  Why won’t he tell us?”

Sebastian squeezes your thigh.  “I wish I knew.”

* * *

The next day you headed to the hospital together buzzing with excitement.  You see your doctor first.  They take your blood pressure and just ask how you’ve been feeling.   It’s a little high but nothing to be concerned about.  She just says to avoid stress.  You scoff and think ‘yeah, that would be nice.’  They send you down for blood tests and the ultrasound.

While you wait on the table in the darkened room for the technician to come in Sebastian buzzes.  “I wonder how different it looks.  Last time it kinda looked like a baby.  Do you think it will look totally like a baby this time?”

“I think so.  I mean if you can see if it has a penis or not must be getting close.”  You say.

The ultrasound technician comes in.  She’s young and bubbly and introduces herself as Alice.   You think she recognizes Sebastian but if she does she doesn’t say.

“Okay, are we ready to see your baby?”  She asks.

“Yes!”  You both squeal.

Alice pulls your pants down a little and tucks some paper towel in the waistband and she lifts your shirt.  She squeezes the cold gel on your skin and you jump.

“Yeah, sorry about that.  Should have warned you.”  She says.

You laugh.  “That’s okay.  Pleasant change from the temperature outside.”

She moves the wand around and you see your baby.  Sebastian squeezes your hand.  It does look more like a baby now.  You can see arms and legs and it’s giant head.

Alice keeps moving the wand around, trying to find something.  You’re not sure what.  Eventually, she puts it down and gets up.  “I’ll be back in just a moment.”

You look at Sebastian as she leaves and the expression on his face matches what you’re feeling in your chest.  You’re terrified.

“Something’s wrong.”  You say.

Sebastian forces a smile.  “No.  I’m sure it’s fine.  Just … maybe she needed to…”

He can’t even think of something to say to reassure you.  You squeeze his hand and he squeezes back.

Alice returns to the room with your doctor and an older man.  Now you’re panicking.  The older man introduces himself but he might as well have been speaking another language.  You don’t absorb anything he says.  He puts the wand on your stomach and the pounding of the pulse in your ears is deafening.  Sebastian squeezes your hand.

Your doctor looks at you sadly.  “I’m really sorry.  There’s no heartbeat.”

You break down in tears.

After that, things are kind of a blur.  You’re crying and people are talking and you agree to things that you’re not even sure of because you can’t hear them.  You’ve lost your baby.  That’s all you know.  You’ve lost your baby.

Seb holds your hand and you can see that he’s fighting back tears.  Trying to be the strong one.  The together one.  They say you need to come back to have surgery.  A d&c because otherwise you have to go through labor and it would almost certainly not go well.

Sebastian takes you back to the hotel.  You become acutely aware that it is a hotel.  Not your home.  Not that your home had really felt like your home yet anyway.  It was just your boyfriend’s house in a city you didn’t know well.  Your home was in LA.  You wonder if there was anything you loved that wasn’t going to be yanked away from you.  You worry if losing the baby will mean that you’re also going to lose Sebastian.

Sebastian sits down beside you on the bed and strokes your hair.  You cling to him and sob into his lap.

“Do you need anything?”  Seb asks, kissing you.

“Please don’t leave me.”  You sob, clinging to him just a little tighter.

“Oh, babe.  I’m not going anywhere.”  He says, his hand goes to your neck and he squeezes it gently and begins to rub the tension you’re holding out.  His hand goes to his pocket and he picks up his phone.

There’s a pause as he holds it to his ear.  “Yeah, hey man.  Can you come ‘round?  She needs you.  We both do.”


	11. The Grieving Process

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After your miscarriage, Chris steps up to try to take care of you both. His being there becomes confusing

Chris arrives while you’re sleeping.  You wake to him climbing into bed with you, his large arms pulling you tightly against him.  As soon as you realize it’s him you break down in tears again and cling to him.  You know you’re still angry, but it’s so deep down and smothered by grief that you’re just glad for the comfort.

“What am I going to do?  I let him down…  I let you down.”  You sob.

You feel the bed dip on the other side and Sebastian’s hands go to your hair.  “Babe, you haven’t let anyone down,”  Sebastian says softly.

“Seb…”  You sob.

Chris’ arms tighten around you.  “Shh, honey.  Just go back to sleep.  We’ll be here when you wake up.”

You press your face against Chris’ chest and cry yourself back to sleep pressed between the two of them.  They whisper to you, how much they love you and that you have them both no matter what.  Which in a way makes it worse, because it’s not true.  Chris already showed you that. Him being here now doesn’t mean you have him at all.

Eventually, Chris just starts singing.  He starts with ‘Yesterday’ by the Beatles and follows it with ‘When she loved me’ from Toy Story 2 as you cry yourself out.

You wake up to an empty bed, the sun streaming through the cracks of the curtain.  You wonder if you dreamt Chris showing up.  You force yourself out of bed.  You’ve cried so much you feel dehydrated and your throat hurts.  You stumble into the living area of the suite you and Seb share.  Chris and Sebastian are already in there, sitting on the couch facing each other.  So it hadn’t been a dream after all.

“What if this is my fault?”  Sebastian says.  You falter.  Stopping and leaning on the wall watching them.

Chris pushes Sebastian’s hair off his face and they lean their foreheads against each other.  “You can’t think like that, man.  This shit happens.”

“It’s been so hot, and she’s running around after me.  And all the stuff with you.  Maybe she shouldn’t have been working this film.  It was too much stress.”  Seb says, speaking so quickly and his voice filled with such pain that it physically hurts you.

Chris cuts him off with his lips.  Pulling him into a hard kiss, his hands cupping Sebastian’s jaw.  You feel torn in two. Part of you just desperately wants to run to them and be comforted too.  Another part wants to run away.  To be angry that Chris is here.  That Sebastian has turned to him instead of you, even after what he did.

Sebastian pushes away.  “Chris…”  He says, softly.

Chris shakes his head.  “I know.  I’m sorry.  I just…”

“I know… I know… but not like this.”  Sebastian says, breaking down into tears.  Chris wraps his arms around him and pulls him against his chest as Sebastian sobs against him.

That was enough to move you.  You rush over to them.  They pull apart from each other and pull you into their arms.  You snuggle into Sebastian’s neck.  “It’s not your fault.”  You murmur against his skin.

“You don’t know that… how can you know that?”  Seb sobs against you.  It sets you off too, but you’re so dehydrated barely any tears escape.  It’s just a dry wracking sob that takes over your whole body.

Chris quietly holds you both.  Stroking your hair and pressing his lips to your head.  When you’re both cried out Chris gets up, leaving you and Sebastian on the couch in each other’s arms.  He brings you each a large iced water and then goes and prepares something to eat.

You and Sebastian both doze off in each other’s arms.  Chris wakes you again with plates of scrambled eggs and bacon.

You look at the plate and up at Chris.  “I can’t.”  You say.  “I -  I’m having -  I have to have surgery today.”  You stutter your tears starting anew.

Chris looks mortified.  He hugs you again.  “Shit, of course.  Sorry.”

Seb’s hands are on your back and he kisses your neck.  “Babe, do you want to take a shower?  I can take you.”

You nod your head and Chris lets you go, getting to his feet.  “I can take you.  Seb, you should eat.”  He says with a hint of desperation in his voice.

“Chris…”  Seb says, once again trying to pull him back from the direction he seems to think this is heading.

“No… no, I know.  I just.  I’m trying to help.”  He pleads.

You look between the two of them.  “It’s okay.  I can just go alone.  I’m a tomb not an invalid.”

“Babe…”  They both say at once, the word laced with such sorrow.  You regret your word choice but not enough to apologize.

You shake your head and get up, going to the shower alone.  You stand under the water and cry once again.  Your head pressed against the tiles.  You’re not even sure exactly why.  Having Chris there has thrown you so badly.

After a while, there’s a knock on the door.  “You okay?”  Seb asks, opening the door.

You switch off the water and look at him.  “What’s okay?”

“Oh, babe.” Seb approaches you with a towel and wraps his arms around you.  “Are you angry I called Chris?”

You shake your head.  “I know why you did.  It’s okay.  I just wish… well… I wish a lot of things.”

Seb kisses you softly.  “I know.  It’s all shit.  All of it.”  

You smile wanly and let him go, heading to the bedroom to get dressed.

* * *

The three of you travel to the hospital together.  Chris isn’t allowed to come into the prep room and you and Sebastian sit behind curtains together having all these different medical staff coming in and checking things.  They ask you over and over and over again why you were there.  You wish Chris was there.  Sebastian just sits by you silently holding your hand as you keep repeating ‘I am here for a D&C, I had a miscarriage.’  Over and over until you want to scream and scratch someone’s eyes out.  You love Sebastian so much, but you just feel maybe if Chris was there he’d tell them to look at your chart so you didn’t have to keep saying it.

By the time your doctor comes with your anesthetist to take you into the theatre you’re in tears, only they’re thick and sluggish from dehydration.

Sebastian kisses you on the forehead and watches as they wheel you away.  He looks completely numb.

After your surgery, you wake up and immediately start crying again.  Partly out of confusion.   The anesthetic has made you feel displaced and foggy.  Mostly it’s due to how finished this all is now.  You were pregnant.  Now you aren’t.  It’s over.  There would be no baby for you and Sebastian.  Your body had failed you.  You had failed everyone.

The nursing staff gives you a sedative to calm you.  You end up just lying there feeling nothing until they let Sebastian and Chris in.  Even then you don’t feel very much.  No one says very much.  Sebastian asks how you’re feeling, but you just look at him pitifully and shrug and he drops it.

* * *

Over the next week, Sebastian stays at your side.  He is given the time off from work understandably.  He’s grieving and you’re recovering from surgery and need help.  Chris, however, has to work.  There is no excuse for him not to be there.  He shows up to Sebastian’s hotel room after every night looking completely miserable.

For the first day and a half, you spend the entire time in bed in your pajamas and you have a feeling that Chris is there for Sebastian because he’s having trouble dealing with both his grief and the depth of yours.  You then realize he’s here because he’s lost in grief too.  He had wanted this baby, even if he never really expected to be the dad he had hoped.  Even despite the fact, he had only known for a few weeks.  It had been something he’d seen for the three of you and this was a tragedy for him.

He poured his grief out into taking care of you both.  Like if by making sure you were both being looked after it would make it okay for him.  He never pushed anything physical again like he did that first day with Sebastian.  He would snuggle with one or both of you if you invited him, but he never started anything.  Mostly he just made sure you ate and listened to you.

The first few nights he stayed on the couch.  After that, you invited him into bed with you.  It was an uneasy familiarity.  You still hadn’t forgiven him, but you appreciated the comfort.  It started to wear on you though.  He shouldn’t be here.  He didn’t want this and he hadn’t earned his way back if he had changed his mind.  Him being here was just going to confuse everyone’s feelings.  Already you could see the wistful way Sebastian would look at him and then glance over at you hopefully.

The major problem was everyone was still sick with grief.  You had only just gotten to the point you could move around without all the painkillers and you were still bleeding.  This was not the time to make decisions.  Him being here was just confusing everything.

The last day Seb has off, you confront him.

“We need to talk about Chris.”  You say, sitting up in bed and looking up at Seb as he comes out of the bathroom, his towel around his waist.

Seb looks at you startled for a moment and comes and sits on the bed.  “Okay…”

You frown and look down at Sebastian’s hands.  He’s fidgeting with his fingers and the edge of the towel.  “I don’t think he should sleep here anymore.  In fact, he probably shouldn’t even be here at all as much as he has been.”

“He’s been good though.  Not pressuring us.”  Sebastian says.  He doesn’t look at you either, just focusing on the same things you are.

You pause a couple of beats and look up at him.  “You want him back.”  It’s more statement than a question.

His blue/grey eyes meet yours and they are so frightened.  “You don’t?”

“I don’t know what I want.  I just … we just suffered such a loss.  I can’t just jam Chris into that void because it’s comfortable and familiar.  He shattered me.”  You pinch the bridge of your nose, trying to figure out a way to have Sebastian understand.  “Him coming around here and making sure I’ve eaten and showered isn’t enough to forgive him.  I can’t just go back to being secret girlfriend only to have him dump us when he gets scared about his reputation again.”

You lift his hands to your mouth and kiss his fingers.  “If you want to see him, you can.  But I can’t be a part of that.  You’ll have to juggle dating him and me.  At least until I’m sure about what I do want.”

Sebastian shakes his head.  “No, I don’t want that.”  He drops his gaze to the ground and then looks back at you.  “We should tell him.  He’s here because he’s grieving too.  He loves us.  We should tell him it’s confusing for us if he’s here and if he is serious about us being together he has to show us that he’s not scared anymore.  That he needs to tell us what happened in Boston.”

He sounds so hopeful.  It breaks your heart a little that he seems to want this so badly.  You feel like a bitch for not being ready to forgive Chris yet.

You sigh and nod.   “We should talk to him.”  You say and leave it at that.

* * *

Chris knocks on the hotel room door at around seven that night.  He’s laden down with Chinese takeout and he comes in looking exhausted and emotional.  He puts the food down on the coffee table and smiles at you.  Sebastian slumps into the chair and runs his hand over his face.

“How are you feeling today?  Any better?  I mean… physically.”  Chris asks sitting beside you and putting his hand on your knee.

You take his hand and hold it, not quite being able to bring yourself to look him in the eye.  “Uh,  I guess a bit”  You stutter.  “Look, Chris, we need to talk.”

Chris shook his head.  “No.”  He yelps.  “Why?  I - I’ve been trying to help.  What did I do?”

“You’re intruding on my grief.  I don’t even know why you’re here so much.  I don’t know what you want.  I felt nothing but confused since you showed up.  Sebastian shouldn’t have called you.  What do you want exactly?”  You rant, still not looking him in the eye.  Worried that if you see how much you’re actually hurting him you’ll cave and nothing will change.

He falters and looks from you to Seb.  “I lost something too.”  He says quietly.  “I just… I want us to go back to what we had.  I wasn’t rushing it.  I know you need to go slow.”

You actually have to take several deep breaths to try to stop yourself from losing your shit on him.  “You’re right, you did lose something.  You lost it back when you chickened out on us.  You don’t get to worm your way back into this relationship because we’re vulnerable.  You haven’t actually done anything to prove you’ve changed.  You haven’t even said what you want exactly.  Are you just hoping we forget what you did?”

Chris drops to his knees on the floor in front of you.  “Please don’t do this. That’s not what I was trying to do at all.  I just - I’m just trying to help you.  I just want a chance.”  He pleads.  He looks over at Sebastian and Sebastian shakes his head.

You look into his eyes for the first time since you started talking and you run your hand over his cheek.  “I love you, Chris.”  You say, tears threatening to break again.  “You don’t get to do this though.  I want to forgive you so much, but I’m not going back to what we had.  We go public or nothing.  You don’t get an option of chickening out again.  And even then… even then you don’t get any promises that I’ll forgive you.”

“Babe…”  

“No, Chris.  That’s how it is.  And you can’t stay with us anymore.  I’m grieving and you’re being here is confusing.  I need to deal with my loss without you clouding how I feel.  I know that’s not what you’re trying to do, but it’s still happening.”  You say firmly.

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t… I don’t…”  He says not really sure what to say.  He gets to his feet and so does Sebastian.  “I wish we could go back.”

You shrug.  “So do I.”

Seb follows him out and you can hear muttered talking in the hall.  You let yourself cry, lying down on the couch and curling yourself up into a ball.  The hall goes silent for a while, but it’s another couple of minutes before Sebastian returns.  He doesn’t say anything, he just curls up around you and holds you.

* * *

The next few weeks are tough.  Sebastian goes back to filming but you and he decided it was better for you if you just quit as the PA for this film.  You need more time before you go back to work.  Being at the hotel alone sucks though, so you go into the studio anyway and just mope around.   People are either way too sympathetic or way too dismissive of what happened.  Hearing condolences or things like ‘well at least you didn’t get attached’ becomes its own kind of torture.

One day you come in with Sebastian and there is a buzz running through the studio.  You have no idea what’s going on, but as you follow Sebastian out of the trailer one of the other PA’s rushes over to you.  “Oh my god, tell me you saw Chris’ twitter this morning?”  She asks.

“No, what happened?”  Sebastian asks.  “Was he hacked?”

She pulls out her phone and opens up Twitter.  “I think he’s going to wish he was.”

She hands you both the phone and there is a video, the preview is a close up on Chris’ face like he’s taking a selfie.

You press play.

“Hi, this is Chris Evans.   I’ve decided to do this as a video so that it’s clear this is from me and not a hack or a joke…”


	12. What happened in Boston

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris makes a big public declaration and comes clean about what happened in Boston that led him to breaking up with you and Sebastian.

“Hi, this is Chris Evans.   I’ve decided to do this as a video so that it’s clear this is from me and not a hack or a joke.  A while back I started seeing a woman.  I fell head over heels for her.  She was seeing someone else though.  I loved her so much that I didn’t care.  I was fine sharing her love because she had so much to give.

“Then something happened.  I fell for the guy she was with too.  We were all close before we started dating anyway and he opened something new in me.  It was exciting and I loved it.  We were all set to go public and I ruined it.  I let my anxiety of what you all think get the best of me.  I’ve regretted it ever since.  So this is my apology to them and my outing.  I’m bisexual.  But not only that, I’m in love with two people and I hope they’ll take me back because I miss them.”

The video ends and it feels like your heart had stopped.  You can’t believe Chris just did this.  He potentially just tanked his career and for all he knew it could be for nothing.  You could still refuse to take him back.  You can’t even think what to stay.

“Crazy, huh?  I wonder who it was.  I hadn’t heard about him dating anyone.”  The other PA says.  She takes her phone back and shakes her head.  “Anyway… better go, coffee’s not going to make itself.”

You look at Sebastian and he looks just as shocked as you do.  “What do we do?”  You whisper.

Sebastian shakes his head.  “We should talk to him.”

Your pulse is racing and your palms feel clammy.  “What would we say?”

“I don’t know, but we can’t just ignore this.  He put himself out there.  He didn’t name names.  We can at least say we saw and need to think things through.”  Sebastian says.

Sometimes the fact Sebastian is always so rational makes you want to shake him.  Tell him he doesn’t always have to be the strong, reasonable one.  You sigh and nod and the two of you make your way to Chris’ trailer.  You knock and when you hear an ‘it’s open’  you both let yourself inside.

Chris is sitting a table with Kevin Feige.  Neither of them looks happy.  Your mind races.  Thoughts of Chris being fired by Marvel.  Them releasing statements saying they’d distanced themselves from him.  They both look up at you and Sebastian, and Kevin pinches the bridge of his nose.

“It’s you two isn’t it?”  Kevin groans. “That’s why you’ve all been acting so strangely around each other.”

Neither you or Sebastian say anything.  You just stare like deer in headlights.

“I’d strongly recommend you don’t do anything publically.  At least not until we sort out this shit with Chris.  Don’t forget, Sebastian, you still have a nine-film contract.”

Kevin got up.  “Just don’t do anything else stupid, Chris.  We might be able to smooth this out without you having to undo what you said.  But just radio silence until then.”  He leaves and Chris gets up, taking a hesitant step towards you, arms held out like he wants a hug.

You hold your hand out, touching his chest.  You don’t even say anything, just a small shake of the head.  He stops and as scared and sad as he looked before it has now doubled.

“Please.  It doesn’t have to mean anything…”  He says.

Sebastian steps up wrapping his arms around Chris and Chris melts into him.  It’s strange. You’d always thought of the two of them Chris was the strong one.  He was always so sure of what he wanted.  This whole ordeal has just shown you how soft Chris can be and how strong Sebastian is.

You sit down and wait for them to join you.  They eventually do, Chris sitting opposite you and Sebastian beside you.

“You saw?”  Chris said hopefully.

“Yeah, we saw,”  Sebastian says.  “That was really brave.  Idiotic.  But brave.”

Chris looked up hopefully.  “And?”

“Chris…”  You sigh.  “I need time.  There’s so much I’m dealing with right now.”

Chris frowns and looks into your eyes.  “I just wanna know if there is a chance.”

You cover your face with your hands.  You wish you didn’t even have to be thinking about this.  You should be recovering from your loss.  “There’s a chance.”  You say after a long pause.

Chris visibly relaxes and you feel a shift in Seb too.  He takes your hand and kisses your fingertips.

“I need time.  You need to leave me alone for a little while.  If we do start again it’s from the start.  You have to earn back my trust.  Our trust.  This was never my idea Chris.”  You say, your voice cracking.

Chris leans over and takes your hand.  “I know.  I know, babe.  If I could undo what I did…”

“You also need to tell us what happened in Boston.”  You add.

Chris sighs and runs his hands over his face.  He looks from you to Sebastian and then back again.  “Okay.”  He says, pinching the bridge of his nose.  “You know I’m close with my family right?”

“Yes, Chris, I’ve worked it out.”  You answer, exasperated.

“All my life Ma has pretty much supported everything I’ve done.  If it looked like I was going to make a mistake she let me make it and she’d be there to catch me.  She’s like that with all of us.  Every meatball that ends up dumping Shanna she’s there telling her the next guy will be better.  When Scott got arrested for possession, she was there getting him help.  When I told her about us…”

He pauses and shakes his head.  “To say she freaked out is putting it mildly.  She couldn’t understand how I could have been in the closet about my bisexuality for so long if my brother is gay.   I tried to explain that I just didn’t realize before.  That because I usually went for women the fact that I found some men sexually attractive just wasn’t something I allowed myself to explore.   She seemed to think Seb was a sexual predator.  That he’d somehow convinced me I was something I wasn’t.  That he was …”  He stops and shakes his head again.  Not able to get out the thing Lisa had accused Sebastian of.

Sebastian’s eyes go wide.  “But I’ve met your mom.  How could she think that about me?”

Chris shakes his head.  “I kept telling her it wasn’t like that.  That you’d never pressured me.  That we hadn’t …”  He waves his hands in the air.   “I think it made it worst.  She kept saying that was a sign that I wasn’t gay.  That if I was then I wouldn’t be hesitant about having sex with you.  That’s why when I got home I pushed for you to fuck me.  I thought if we did that, that if it was my idea it proved that I was.  I needed to prove that I wanted that.  That I wanted you.  It was good and I’m glad we did and I want to do it again.  It just wasn’t enough to get me past all the other shit though.  Not at the time.”

You squeeze his hand.  “What other shit?”

Chris sighs and looks away from you.  “She said you were a slut.  That you were just using me so you could have your cake and eat it.  That you’d never agree to settle down and have kids with me because you couldn’t even agree to just be with me alone.  That eventually you’d have gotten your fill and dump me anyway and find someone who could give me what you were getting from both of us because obviously, I wasn’t enough for you on my own.”

He got up and grabs himself a beer.  “You want one?”  He offers.

You shake your head but Sebastian takes one, taking a long drink.  

“I can’t lie.  It affected me.  Not that I thought you were a slut or you were just using me.  I knew that wasn’t true and I told her to stop saying those things about you.  I mean she really liked you when you met.  She was sure you were the one for me.  What got to me was the rest.  I had already thought I wasn’t enough for you.  That eventually you’d realize and dump me.  I wanted us to just be us originally.  I wanted the normal life with you.  I settled for poly just because I preferred that to nothing.”  Chris explains.

You clench your jaw and feel your fingernails biting into your palms.  “So why are you trying so hard to get it back if that’s how you feel?”

“That was then.  I miss you both.  I want you both back.”  He says looking back into your eyes.  “That wasn’t all of it either.  When I was adamant that I trusted you. That I was also there for Sebastian she kept going on and on about how much the public was going to attack us.  She kept asking me if I was okay putting a woman I loved not only in the position where she was going to be attacked not only for just dating me but for doing something so disgusting.  For taking two of their favorites away.”

“I could care less about what your fans think of me.”  You sigh.

Chris frowns, but he keeps eye contact. “You say that, but you don’t know what it’s like.  I can’t even read my fans replies to me on twitter anymore.  It’s too much.”

Sebastian puts his arm around you.  “Instagram can be awful too.  I read them, but I’ve started getting fighty with people.”

“And as far as they’ll be concerned you stole both of us from them.  It scared me.  I didn’t want to put you through that.  It wasn’t just Ma saying it either.  It was everyone.  Carly, Shanna, my dad, my closest friends.  The only one who was anything other than negative was Scott and he was just excited that I’d blown a guy.”  Chris says.

You let silence fall on the trailer.  No one saying anything.  Just the sound of the air conditioner running and the people outside getting ready to shoot.  You keep looking at Chris and Sebastian rubs your back in small circles.  

“So what changed?”  You ask, breaking the silence.  “I’ll still get the hate.  You won’t be able to protect me from it.”

“I love you.”  There wasn’t even a pause.   He didn’t have to think about it.  He just said it.  “Doing what I did, I thought it was the best thing.  I was sure in the long run we’d all move on and be happy.  It nearly killed me.  I was seeing my therapist every day.  I just wanted you back.  I wanted you both back.  Being on set and having to see you every day being happy while I’m taking mood stabilizers just to get through the day… then when I found out about the baby…”

He stopped and took a drink.  Neither you or Sebastian said anything.  Talking about the baby was still too much for you.  It was an open wound that even the mildest of prodding caused serious pain.

“I realized what I’d given up.  What good things I was giving up to protect myself from the potential bad.  I want that stuff.  I want us to be how we were.  To wake up in bed in a huge pile.  I want to all snuggle together on the couch talking and watching movies.  I want to have a family with you both.  I want us back.”  He broke at the last one.  He started to cry and rubbed his eyes with the back of his fist.  You got up and held him.  He clung to you like he was drowning.  Sebastian came up behind him hugging him from behind.   For a brief moment, you’re reminded about the good.  It’s not all just pain.

You kiss him softly on his forehead.  “I’m sorry they said that.  Have you spoken to them about how you want us back?”  You whisper.

“Ma approached me.  She said she was sorry.  She could see how badly it affected me.  She thought that I hadn’t been thinking straight.   She said she’d support me whatever choice I made.”   He replies.  “I know I did it to myself, but I was really hurting a lot.”

You sigh and let him go and he drops his hands and looks up at you.  “I need time, okay?  If you and Seb want to start up something with the two of you, I understand.  I just, I need time.”

“I understand…”  Chris replies, looking up at you hopefully.

You run your thumb along his jaw.  “And I’m not promising anything.  This might not ever happen again.  All I’m saying is if you give me time to come at this when I’m not grieving, I might try again.”

Chris nods.  You go to the door and Sebastian follows.  “I do love you, Chris.

Chris smiles.  “I love you too.  Both of you.”

“Love you too, man.”  Sebastian nods and you both leave Chris alone.


	13. Tequila and Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris starts to completely fall apart until Sebastian intervenes.

They say time heals all wounds.  That’s not exactly true.  Sometimes time just allows you to work out a way to live with the wound.  It’s still there, but you work around it.  Sometimes it just allows that wound to fester and rot, until it slowly eats away at every part of you.

For you and Seb it was a little more like the first.  Losing your baby was something you don’t think you were ever going to truly get over.  It would pop into your head at random times, and you’d struggle not to cry.  There were nights where Sebastian would just need to hold you because you couldn’t stop dwelling on it.  There were times when you cried together.  God forbid anyone else bring it up, that was always your downfall.

Generally, though you were okay.   You didn’t think about it constantly.  You learned to live with it.

Chris’ wound was festering.  Even though things were not quite as bad as the could have been.  Marvel were in general supportive of Chris.  Nothing public had been said, they were playing the ‘it’s his life it has nothing to do with us card’.  Disney, however, were not happy at all.  A theme of ‘Family Values’ was trickling down from above.  It looked like this might be the last movie Captain America featured in and that his part might be cut right back if Disney had their way.

His fans were in general not so bad.  When you looked online, there was a general consensus of let consenting adults do what they want.  There was a lot of speculation and hope that the guy was Sebastian.  People had noticed they’d suddenly started spending a lot more time together and then just as suddenly stopped again.  People argued fiercely about it but no one seemed angry at the possibility it might be true.

The problem was, Chris seemed to be blind to the support.  All he seemed to allow through his filters was how he was disgusting.  How he was a deviant.  How all he cared about was his dick.

He was also alone.  You’d asked him to leave you alone and he’d kept good on his word.  Watching him was painful. He lost weight.  Another thing that was also getting him in trouble with Disney.  He looked like he was starting to fray at the edges.

“I can’t take it anymore.  We have to do something.”  Sebastian says as he paces the room.  The movie was wrapping soon, and he’d told you he needed to talk.  You sat down on the couch be he hadn’t.  He’d just paced.

“I know.”  You say, softly watching him as he ran his hands through his hair.

“I love him.  I know you love him too.  I can’t watch as he falls apart.”  He continues.  It’s like he’s been practicing a speech in his head and he has to get it out.

“I know.”  You repeat.

He doesn’t even acknowledge that you’ve spoken.  “I know we’ve had our own shit.  I know he was part of the reason for our shit.  I just…”  He turns to look at you, he brow crinkled.  Real pain spread over his features.  “I want him back.  I know I was always second to you.  I still want him back and I can’t just pretend like he’s okay when he’s obviously not okay.”

“I know, Sebastian.”  You say, firmly.

He approaches you and drops to his knees in front of you.  He wraps his arms around your waist and you hug his head to your stomach and stroke his hair.  “You’ll take him back?”

You sigh.  This is so surreal.  Your boyfriend is on the ground in front of you begging you to take back your ex-boyfriend.  In what universe does that make sense?  You nod.  “I don’t know how to do this though.  There’s so much pain.”

* * *

That’s how you end up standing in front of the door to Chris’ suite with your skirt full of limes.  Sebastian stands beside you with an unopened bottle of tequila and three shot glasses. He knocks on the door.

There’s no answer so Sebastian knocks again.  “Chris, I know you’re in there.  Open up.”  He calls through the door.

You hear a shuffle and Chris appears at the door looking puffy eyed.  “What are you guys doing here?”  He asks.

“We thought you could use a drink,”  Sebastian says, holding up the tequila and gently pushing past Chris.

You follow Sebastian in and Chris closes the door.  He looks from one of you to the other slightly dazed and whispers your name.

You dump the fruit you’ve been holding onto his kitchen bench and start digging around the kitchen for a chopping board and a knife.

“We’re going to talk.”  You explain, putting the chopping board on the bench.  “We’re going to share our pain.  All of it.  About all the things that have happened.  All the things we’re scared might happen.  How we feel about us.  While we talk we’re gonna drink.  We’re going to get fucking wasted.  We’re going to throw out all our inhibitions and just do this.”

You turn to Chris, the lime all cut up into neat wedges.  “Because we love each other.  And it’s us against everyone.  From tonight on when we’re scared about something, it’s you, me and Seb together.  You understand?”

Chris is crying and he steps forward hesitantly, you open your arms and he almost falls into them.  This giant of a man, sobbing against your shoulder.  “I thought I’d ruined everything.”

You rake your fingers through his hair and hold him.  “We can fix it.”  You whisper.  “Together.  All of us.”

So you drink.  As you do you all just unload.  You talk about how hard it was when he left you. He talks about how hard he took it too.  You talk about how scared you were when you found out you were pregnant.  Sebastian finally admits he was terrified at first.  Terrified that you would find out the baby was Chris’ and leave him.  Terrified of being a parent at all.  You all talk about the baby and how even though the timing was terrible you ended up wanting it and losing it was devastating.  You talk about your relationship.  How hard it will be.  How you each feel within it. Sebastian opens up about how he’s often felt like the third and you and Chris hold him and reassure him.  You tell him that he’s the glue.  You admit to the jealousy you had when Chris and Sebastian had started to explore their relationship with each other.

All of you cry.  It feels like lancing a boil.  All the stuff you’d been holding in.  That you’d been letting eat away at you comes out.  It feels good because they’re there with you and not once do either of them look at you in any other way than they have always done.  They are your boys.

As the tequila bottle drains you start talking about the things you want.  Kids and where you want to live and how you’re actually really going to handle these things.  All the conversations you should have had but were too scared to, or brushed off for later.  Sebastian and Chris argue about whether they should raise the kids in Boston or New York.  Eventually settling on most of the time in Boston with a place kept in New York for holidays and weekend trips.  Neither of them seems to care that having kids in this relationship means they could potentially never know genetically who is the biological father.  They just know they want to be a family, all three of you first.

When the bottle is not quite halfway empty you start not really talking about anything much.  You’re all drunk and just enjoying each other.  Sebastian has gotten giggly and Chris has gotten touchy.

You all lie on the ground in a pile.  You card your fingers through Sebastian’s hair as he leans up against you.  Chris can’t stop touching you both.  There’s always part of him touching each of you.  Sebastian starts playing with Chris’ hair.  It happens pretty quickly.  Chris looks up at Sebastian and Sebastian pounces on him.  Pushing him back into the carpet and kissing him.   It’s drunk and sloppy and they both make loud smacking and humming sounds.

Each of them keeps a hand on your leg.  They squeeze your calf and both seem to stop and look up at you at the same time.  Chris sits up and crawls up next to you, followed by Sebastian.  Chris nuzzles at your neck as Sebastian leans in and kisses you.  When Sebastian pulls away Chris looks into your eyes.

“Can I kiss you?”  He asks, his fingers trailing down your neck.

You shiver and nod your head.  It had been so long since you let him kiss you.  You miss it and you need it.  He brings his lips to yours.  Slowly and hesitantly at first.  You pull him in and tease your tongue over his lips.  He’s hot, and tastes of the woody flavor of the tequila with the sour bite of the lime.

He opens his mouth willingly and takes over control.  You give in to him.  He’s shaving to play Steve and so the familiar tickle of his beard is replaced with the scratch of his five o’clock shadow.  Even still, the feel of his lips is familiar and good.  You hum into his mouth.  He leans you back into Sebastian and Sebastian starts kissing first your neck and then Chris’.

Chris breaks the kiss.  Moving his mouth along your jaw.  His hand started to slip up under your skirt.  “God, I missed you.  I missed both of you so much.”  He murmurs against your skin.

“We’re not having sex, Chris.”  You say, firmly.

He doesn’t remove his hand but it stops traveling up.  He just squeezes your thigh.  “Okay.”  He says.  “Sorry.  You’re right.”  He pulls back and looks from you to Sebastian.  “We can still kiss?”

Sebastian leans into him and their lips graze over each other’s.  “Don’t overthink it, man.”

Chris cups his jaw.  “Can you stay? I really want to wake up with you again.”

“We’ll stay.”  You agree.

The kissing resumes.  This time Chris and Sebastian.  They kiss over you and you nuzzle against them.  Kissing their necks and running your hands up their chests.

“Can we go to bed?  I wanna do this in bed.”  Chris asks.  You and Sebastian agree.

Chris is the one that has his wits about him enough to grab water and aspirin and put them on the bedside table.

Sebastian and Chris strip down to their boxers.  You pull off your dress and take off your bra.  You go scoop Sebastian’s t-shirt off the ground because you’re not sure that you want to sleep in just your panties with Chris just yet.  He comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist.  Kissing your throat.

“Chris.”  You breathe, as his hands travel up to your breasts.

His mouth ghosts to your neck, up to your ear.  “I know.  I won’t.  I just missed you.  Everything about you.”

You turn to face him.  “Our first time shouldn’t be drunk.  Not again.”  You whisper before bring your lips to his.  He hums into your mouth and moves you back to the bed.  You all three settle together, letting Chris be in the middle, the spot normally held by you.

Chris breaks his kiss with you and moves to Sebastian.  Sebastian props himself on his elbows and leans over Chris.  Chris is hard and Sebastian you can see is well on the way.  You reach out and touch their cocks through their boxers.

Sebastian pushes your hand away.  “Just, Chris.”  He says.

“Seb?”  Chris breathes.  Sebastian pushes his boxers down and you both wrap your hand around Chris’ cock.

“We’ve had each other.  Like you said.  Just relax.  We’ll take care of you.”  Seb whispers.

Chris and Sebastian start kissing again as you both stroke Chris.  Chris moans in Sebastian’s mouth and Sebastian breaks away, making way for you to take over.  The kiss becomes its own organism.  Being passed from one to another.  Just as it used to before all the shit went down.  When they were kissing each other you kissed one of their necks.  If one of them was kissing you, the other was latched onto one of your breasts.

The whole time Chris moans and whimpers as you and Sebastian stroke him.  His cock leaks and precome runs down over your knuckles.  “Oh fuck… Uf… I’m gonna come.”  Chris grunts as his hips start thrusting up against you.

“That’s okay.  Come for us.”  You whisper in his ear.

Chris grunts and lets go.  His come spills, hot and thick over both yours and Sebastian’s hands and his abs.

“That’s it, baby.”  You whisper.

You keep stroking him down as Sebastian finds some wipes and starts cleaning him up.

“I love you, guys.”  Chris murmurs.  His drunken sleep already starting to take hold.

“Love you too.”  You whisper, resting your head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat.

You feel his hand in your hair and the soft brush of Sebastian’s lips on your brow as sleep takes you too.

* * *

You wake feeling like death. Your mouth feels tacky and your head feels like it had been split open and haphazardly stuck back together. Someone is draped over you and you can hear them softly snoring. Slowly you pry your eyes open.

Chris is wrapped around you, sleeping soundly and beside him is Sebastian.  The sun’s rays pushing past the edges of the curtains.  You try and remember if you had sex.  You remember drinking.  You remember crying a lot.  It doesn’t take long before you decide you don’t care. This is where you belong.


	14. Lazy Days with my Loves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the morning after you and Sebastian show up at Chris’ suite with Tequila. The three of you take a lazy day reconnecting.

There is the quiet shift of bodies beside you. You don’t want to move and ruin the stillness, despite the fact you’re actively fighting back the urge to vomit.  Sebastian is the first one to properly stir.  You pry your eyes open and watch him sit up, swallow some ibuprofen and down one of the bottles of water sitting on the bedside table.

“Hey, beautiful.  You doing okay?”  He asks.  His voice gravelly and heavy with sleep.

“Head’s killing me.”  You whisper.  Even in a whisper is sounds too loud.  You wince and rub your temples.

Sebastian hands you a bottle of water and some pills.  You swallow them draining half the bottle in one go.  “Thank you.”  You murmur, handing the glass back to Sebastian.

Sebastian looks at Chris, lying between you both, snoring softly.  He runs the back of his fingertips over Chris’ bicep and traces the letters of the word Loyalty he has tattooed there.  “I guess whatever we did worked.”

You laugh and immediately regret it.  “Ow…”  You wince.  “Yeah, I guess it did.  You don’t remember anything?”

“A little.  Not much.  I remember crying a lot.”  He leans down and kisses you softly.  “I’m gonna go pee.”

You catch his hand as he swings his legs over the side of the bed.  He looks at you with his eyebrow raised.  “I love you so much.  I hope you know that.”

Sebastian’s eyes soften and he kisses you once more.  “I love you too.  We’ll be okay.  You and me are always going to be okay.”

You squeeze his hand and let him go before pulling the covers back over yourself and snuggling into Chris.

After everything had happened.  Every single piece of shit that had been piled on top of you. You were here again.  With the two loves of your life.  It felt good.  Right.

Sebastian returns to bed and drapes his arm over both of you and you all sleep for a bit longer.  When you wake again it’s to Chris tightening his arms around you and the press of his lips on your forehead.

You open your eyes and look up at him.  “I was scared you wouldn’t be here when I woke up.”  He says quietly.

You lean up and kiss him.  He doesn’t try and dominate you like he usually does.  He just parts his lips a little and submits to you.  You deepen the kiss, your tongue just skimming over his lips.  God, how you’d missed him.  As much as he had hurt you.  As much as you had tried to fight it.  You’d missed him so much.  You pull back and look up at him.  “It’s the three of us now, Chris.  No more fucking this up.”

He nods and rests his forehead against yours.  “I love you so much.”  He whispers.

“I love you too.”  You reply, wrapping your hands around his waist.

He sits up, waking Sebastian, who looks up at him blearily.  “Hey, Seb.”  Chris smiles, pushing Sebastian’s sleep-mussed hair from his eyes.  “I missed you.”

Seb sits up and looks Chris in the eyes.   “I missed you too.”

Chris leans forward and Sebastian bridges the distance.  They kiss.  It is deep and slow and everything they both have needed and been denying themselves.  They both hum and Chris cups Sebastian’s jaw in both his hands.

Sebastian breaks away first and looks at both of you.  “We should shower.  Maybe brush our teeth.”

“What are you trying to say, Seb?”  Chris teases.  Hearing him relax like that is like music to your ears.  

Sebastian pokes Chris and rolls out of bed, taking him by the hands and pulling him along too.  You follow behind and they both put their arms around you.

You each brush your teeth and hop in the shower.  The warm water helps to wake you and soothes your aching head.  You each take turns washing each other.  Soaping up your hands and running them over the other’s warm skin.

“Will you go public?  It’s okay if you aren’t ready yet.  I - I just…”  Chris asks, as you run your soaped up hands down his chest and he, in turn, does the same to Sebastian.

“Yeah.  I’m gonna go public.”  Sebastian says.  “Chris. We’re in this together.  We mean that.”

Chris nods and you slowly creep your hands down his abs, watching the muscles expand and contract under your touch.

“Last night did we…?”  Chris asks.

Seb shakes his head.  “I don’t think so.  Not sure.”

You just look up and shrug.

“Can we now?”  He asks.

You reach up and cradle his jaw, looking into his soft blue eyes.  “I know you’re scared, Chris.  You’re worried you’re going to fuck this up.  It’s okay.  We’re here.  We’re with you.”

Chris kisses you.  It is deep and passionate.  You give back just as much. Your tongues tangle together.  You feel Sebastian come up behind you and when you break your kiss with Chris, Sebastian takes your place.

You watch them kiss.  Needily.  Hungrily.  While they do you take their cocks in your hand and stroke them.  Slowly pumping your fists up and down their lengths.  Sebastian pulls away from Chris and he kisses you.  Soft and tender and loving.  You hum into his lips.

“We should get out of the shower.  Do this properly.”  Sebastian suggests.

Chris shuts off the water and you all get out, drying yourself hastily and heading to the bedroom.  You’re all over each other immediately.  Three people tangled together, kissing and groping at each other needily.

Someone’s fingers go inside of you and you’re so caught up with everything you aren’t even sure which of them it is.  You moan and your hands tighten around their cocks.  “Can you take us both?”  Chris whispers in your ear.

“You know what you need to do.”  You murmur in reply.

Chris moves away from you and the fingers leave your cunt.  Which answers that question.  Sebastian turns you to face him, kissing you hard.  His own fingers pushing into your pussy.  Just two, but he spreads them inside of you and corkscrews his hand, stretching you out.

“Oh fuck.”  You groan, burying your face into his neck.

Chris returns and Sebastian turns you back to face him.  Chris squeezes the lube into his palm and reaches for Seb, coating his cock with the viscous gel.  Sebastian takes the bottle from him and repeats Chris’ actions.  So that both men are slowly jerking each other off with you in between them.

Sebastian moans and his forehead rests against your back for just a moment before Chris lifts you and lowers you down on his slicked cock.  He sighs and starts bouncing you on his on him.

Sebastian comes up behind you.  You lean back and kiss him, wrapping an arm around his neck.  As you kiss you feel the pressure of his cock against your entrance.  Chris holds you for a moment and ever so slowly, he lowers you down and Sebastian enters you.

You have taken them like this many times now.  It’s a favorite for them.  They like how extra tight you feel, and the way their cocks pressing against each other. How it feels when one of them comes.  It’s a little harder on you.  The stretch burns, but the full up feeling is nice.  The way they make you feel when they fuck you like this though is your favorite bit.  Connected and loved and part of a thing that is much bigger than you’d ever thought you’d get.

The start to bounce you again.  Up and down on their cocks.  You kiss one and then the other.  They kiss.  Sebastian bites your shoulder and you kiss at Chris’ neck.  Mouths and bodies connected.  Sweating and moaning.  You start to pant and your skin tingles.  You can feel the familiar pressure and the pulse of your cunt as your orgasm crests.  What’s happening is not quite enough to make it break through.

“Oh fuck, please.  Please.”  You plead, hoping one of them will know what you need.

Sebastian’s fingers go to your clit.   He pinches it between his thumb and index finger and it sends a sudden jolt through you.  You come.  Crying out.  Your whole body seizes up and Chris’ arm tightens around you so you don’t fall.

Your orgasm sends them both over.  You pulse your pussy around them.  Milking them as they spill inside you in bursts.  Their come drips from your cunt and runs down their cocks.

Sebastian pulls out first followed by Chris and he slowly lowers you to the ground.  “Oh fuck, I missed that too.”  He sighs.

“Me too.”  You and Sebastian say at once.  Followed by ‘jinx’  followed by another ‘jinx’.  Then all three of you both break down laughing.

You go and crawl back into bed.  Still hungover and now a little sore too.  Chris gets you some wipes and cleans you up, while Sebastian pulls on his boxers and digs around in Chris’ kitchenette for something to make for breakfast.

Chris joins him and you watch them from the bed cooking together.  Just casually touching as they pass by each other.  The smell of bacon, eggs, and coffee fill the suite.

You all eat in bed, leaving the dirty dishes stacked beside you as you all snuggle down under the covers not ready to go meet the world.  You take up your usual spot in the middle.  The three off you doze off again.  This time when you wake it’s to the sounds of Sebastian and Chris kissing above your head.  You pry one eye open and look up at them.

Chris notices you first and pulls away from Seb.  “Shit, sorry.  Did we wake you?”

“Yeah, doesn’t matter though.”  You reply and kiss them both on their chins.  “Sorry if I cockblocked you.”  You whisper loudly.

Sebastian and Chris burst out laughing.  Sebastian starts tickling you.  You squeal and squirm between them giggling and kicking your legs until he stops.

When you all settle back down, both of your boys start playing with your fingers.  “How do you want to go public?  The taking you both as a date thing was obviously a bad idea.”  Chris says.

“I was thinking.  What if I just Instagram a photo of us?  Caption it something cute.  Then we all just turn off the internet and let everyone go crazy without us being there for it?”  Sebastian asks.

“Maybe you should run it by your publicists first.”  You suggest, suddenly feeling very anxious for their careers again.  “We don’t have to do a big statement.  We could just not lie.”

“No fuck ‘em, babe.  Chris put himself out there, I can too.  Unless you don’t want to do it like that?”  Sebastian says.

You bury yourself into Sebastian’s neck.  “No, it’s not going to affect me like it does you.  You can do that.”

“Chris?”

Chris nods.  “Sure.  Fuck ‘em.”

“Now?”  Seb asks, reaching for his phone.

“Seb.”  You whine.  “I haven’t put on makeup.  My hair’s a mess.”

Chris kisses you on the nose.  “You look beautiful.”

You hit him with a pillow.  “Shut up!  Liar.”

Sebastian kisses your cheek.  “He’s not a liar.  But if you really have to, you can go straighten up first, ya dork.”

You bury yourself in Chris’ neck and he puts his chin on your head.  Sebastian hugs himself around both of you and you hear the whir-click sound of the camera on his phone.

“Sebastian!”  You yelp.

He laughs.  “That was, Chris.  Don’t blame me.”

Chris holds the phone out so you can see what he did.  It’s actually a really nice photo.  Your head is pressed into Chris’ neck and he has his chin resting on it, and his hand in your hair.  Sebastian’s arm is wrapped around you both his bicep over your shoulder and his hand resting on the back of Chris’ shoulder.  He has his forehead pressed against Chris’ and his eyes closed.

“Oh god.  I love it.  I want to get it framed.”  You say, your heart hurting a little.

“How about Instagram first?”  Sebastian says.

You play with the filters for a little while.  Settling on Walden even though Sebastian keeps pushing retro.   He captions it; ‘Lazy days with my loves’.  And switches the phone onto airplane mode.

“Well, that’s going to be fun to go back to later,”  Sebastian says.  “What shall we do in the meantime?”

“Oh, I dunno.”  You hum, leaning back into him and nipping at his lower lip.  “I might be able to think of something to pass the time.”


	15. Quiet in Boston

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three of you retreat to Boston where the media leaves you alone. You start to get back to being the people you were before the breakup. A decision is made about Chris and Sebastian’s future with Marvel.

Boston is quiet.

Not literally obviously. It’s a big city and get’s a lot of tourism.  Not to mention that Chris’ apartment is right in the heart of the city.  There are always the sounds of the bustling of Chinatown below.  Trucks doing deliveries.  People shouting to each other.  People laughing.  The clatter of plates.  The smell of food.  And when it’s late enough, drunk people laughing and pressing on the apartment buzzer.

Not to mention that Chris’ apartment is small.  The three of you are all over each other.  There is always the sound of something happening.  TVs.   Talking.  Music.  Singing.  Cooking.  The sounds of moans and pleading.  Even when it’s quiet and you’re all just sitting and reading or playing with your phones there is some noise.

What Boston doesn’t have is anyone that gives a shit about what the three of you are doing.  At least not enough to stalk you.  There are no paparazzi holed up outside Chris’ apartment.  Even the random fan that spots them is nothing but nice.

You can’t escape the internet.  But you can control how you choose to look at it.  You’d personally learned long ago to not have a big profile on there.  You had your Facebook locked up tight.  Only for your friends and family could see it.  You had a Pinterest under a pseudonym and a Tumblr under a different pseudonym.  For you, you could pick and choose what you saw.  And what you saw was generally good.  People who just wanted Chris and Sebastian to be happy.  People who were excited that they were together like all their Christmases had come at once.

Yes, it was a little harder for Chris and Sebastian.  They had people attacking them on Twitter and Instagram.  Plus their agents calling constantly.  But in general, Boston is quiet, and you take the time to enjoy it.  To get back to who you were.  To get a glimpse of what you could be, on this path together.

You have been holed up in Boston for a month now.  You’ve spent a bit of time with Chris’ family and friends.  That had been awkward at first.  Knowing they were the reason everything had fallen to shit in the first place.  You and Sebastian had just huddled together not speaking to anyone and bracing yourselves for what felt like the inevitable attack that was coming your way on the first family get together.

What happened was, slowly people had apologized to you both.  They’d told you how sorry they were for what had happened.  All of it.  The breakup.  The miscarriage.  The lack of faith they’d had in Chris.   The fact they’d misjudged you and Sebastian.

It took a few weeks but eventually, you felt less like an unwanted outsider and more like you might belong.  Or at least that they wanted you to feel like you did.

Generally speaking, though it was just you, Chris and Sebastian.  No noise.  No pressure.  Just the three of you.  Chris had gradually emerged from the shell of pain that he’d surrounded himself in.  He stopped doubting himself so much.  He’d started experimenting with Sebastian more.  Finding the things they both liked and didn’t like.  He’d stopped apologizing and just started doing.

Today though… today was when things were being decided.  When Sebastian had posted that photo of you all together in bed to Instagram his agent had had a metaphorical heart attack.  They’d gone into major damage control in conjunction with his PR and Chris’ team.  They’d had lawyers poring over their contracts.  They had PR pushing the kind of people they were.  Good people.  People who were good to their fans and gave back to the community.

It was all coming to a head now.  Sebastian is on the phone in the bedroom to his agent.  While Chris paces around the living room on his.  You sit cross-legged on the couch with Dodger, watching him.  You keep your hands in Dodger’s fur to keep them busy.  Your stomach is churning and your heart’s beating so fast it’s almost all you can hear.

“No… but I shouldn’t have to… I understand that… yes… No, not normally I wouldn’t… Yeah, but it’s not just up to me is it? … Yes, she does… I know…  Seb…  Can I just say something please?”  The conversation just seems to go on and on.  At times he looks really sad.  At others hopeful.  Sometimes you can see that angry Chris that is a little scary and intimidating.

He eventually hangs up the phone and smiles at you.  “I just need a cigarette.”  He says.  He pats his thigh and Dodger jumps up and trots over to him.

“Chris…”  You say.  Your mouth feels tacky and dry.

He nods.  “We’ll wait for Seb.  Just… need to smoke.”  He bounces on the balls of his feet before heading upstairs to his private rooftop patio with Dodger on his heels.

A minute or two later Sebastian reemerges from the bedroom.  He smiles at you.  “Where’s Chris?”

“Smoking.”  You answer.

“Fuck, good idea.”  He comes and pulls you to your feet.  “Come on.  We’ve got things discuss.”

You follow him upstairs and he taps a cigarette out of his pack.  It’s between his lips before he even gets out the door.  Chris tosses him a lighter before the door shuts behind you.

“You wanna go first?”  Chris asks as Sebastian lights his cigarette, taking a long draw.

Sebastian moves to the edge of the patio and looks over the side at the little alley below him.  He takes another draw.  The cigarette glowing between his fingers.  When he turns back to both of you he lets out the smoke from his lungs in a sharp cloud.

“So they looked through my contract.  The stuff in the morality clause is all about consent and drugs and shit.  There’s nothing there they can break the contract over this.”   He says.

You let out a sigh of relief and collapse down onto one of the deck chairs, looking up at the sky.

“Don’t get too excited.   Just because they can’t break the contract over that, doesn’t mean they ever have to use me again.  Look at Chris and Fantastic Four.  You’ve still got one movie they can call you in on, right?”  Sebastian says.

Chris laughs.  “Yep. Fuck, wouldn’t that be funny?”

“So then you’re still in limbo?”  You ask, looking over at him.

Sebastian looks over at Chris.  “You wanna take over?”

Chris snuffs out his cigarette and comes over and squeezes onto the deckchair with you.  “I was told that Disney isn’t quite willing to let Cap go yet.  That even though my contract was up, the Cap solos are the best performing of all the solo films.  So they’re gonna just see what happens.  They’re gonna see how the other films are going.  If there’s pressure to bring him back.  I’m out of contract so I honestly couldn’t give a shit.  If they want me back fine.”  He sighs and kisses your cheek.  “They want us to go low key though.  Well, really they want us to break up.  But they’ve said no talking about the relationship.  To keep it off social media and out of interviews.  They can handle paparazzi shots, but we aren’t to rub it in their faces.  If we go around making a scene they’ll not want to bring him back.”

Sebastian nods and takes another draw.  He leans back on the fence surrounding the patio.  “That’s what they said to me too.  Nothing on Instagram.  No more engaging with the haters or answering questions about what’s going on.  Just shut up.”  He snuffs out the cigarette and comes and sits on the deck chair next to you.  His legs over the side and his elbows resting on them.

“They have big plans for Bucky though.”  He continues.  “They see me as a rising star.  So they aren’t totally willing to write us off because of an unconventional relationship.  If we go low key.” He puts his hand out and touches your leg.  “You are both more important to me than that.  I also don’t know how I feel about it.  I’m not used to not just yelling about the people I love.”

You entwine your fingers with his and let out a slow breath as you think.

Chris shakes his head.  “I dunno.  I don’t normally talk about my relationships anyway. I do red carpets with my ma and my sisters.  I haven’t taken a date for about ten years.  I don’t answer questions.  To me, they’re just asking me to do what I would have done anyway.  I am fine with low key.”

“So it’s up to you then, babe,”  Seb says looking at you. “What do you want to do.”

You smile.  “I just want us.  I don’t want to be the reason why you don’t get to act anymore.  I can do low key.  Low key isn’t pretending I don’t exist.  Or denying your own sexualities.  I can do that.”  You look at Seb.  “But babe, you have the most on the line here.  You heard Chris.  He doesn’t care.  He worked out his contract.  You’re the one still in it.  You wanna yell out to the world how you love us.  Do it.  That doesn’t bother me either.”

Seb sighs.  “No, you’re both right. Low key is best.  We’re not lying.  We’re just not answering questions.”

You sit up and face him.  “You don’t sound convinced.”

He leans over and kisses your forehead.  “I have been imagining all the ways this scenario could play out since that morning when Chris and I first woke up next to you.  I’m just… I feel like a weight’s been taken off my shoulders.”

You reach up and curl a lock of his hair around your finger and pull it down over his brow.  “I love you.”

“I love you too.”  He smiles.  He puffs out a breath.  “Holy shit.  Is this it then?  This is us?”

Chris sits up behind you and claps his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder.  “I think it might be.  It’s probably going to be worse in LA.  So we’ll just stay away for now.  Let the dust settle.”

Sebastian runs both his hands through his hair.  He lets out another huff and looks at Chris smiling.  “Fuck, man.”

Chris laughs.  “I know.”  He leans in and kisses Sebastian.  You lean back against Chris’ chest as they kiss over your shoulder.  You smile at the closeness between you and the soft wet smack of their lips.

Sebastian’s hands go to your thighs and he runs them up to your hips.  You start to nuzzle against Chris’ neck.  The scratch of his beard tickling your cheek.  Sebastian grabs you suddenly, pulling you forward to him. You yelp and he smothers the sound with his lips.  It’s wet and frantic and he tastes of cigarettes and Chris.  You scrunch your nose and moan into his mouth.

Chris’ hands go up under your shirt, cupping your breasts from behind.   He kisses your throat.  Sebastian breaks your kiss and he pulls your shirt up over your head and tosses it.  The breeze catches it and it buffets across the ground, before catching on a planter box.

Chris puts his hand on your throat and pulls your head back to him.  He kisses you as his fingers stroke over your jaw.  Sebastian unhooks your bra.  As soon as he’s pulled the straps down and your breasts fall from the cups, the cool air hardens your nipples.

Sebastian takes his shirt off and Chris lets you go.  He moves, pushing you down so you’re laying on the back of the deck chair.  You, hold onto the back and Chris takes off your shorts and panties in one go.  He stands and pulls his shirt off.  Sebastian has gotten completely naked while Chris had been stripping you of your clothes.  He moves between your legs, shifting you up the deck chair more.  His mouth goes straight to your pussy, kissing over your pubic mound.

You gasp, but you keep your eye fixed on Chris.  He kicks off his shoes and takes his jeans down.  He then drops his boxers and moves behind Sebastian.  You watch as he strokes his hand over Sebastian’s ass and kisses the dimples at the top of his cheeks.  The whole time one hand stays on his cock, stroking it.

For a moment you think he’s about to fuck Sebastian.  Something Sebastian hasn’t ever done with anyone yet.  There’s no lube on the rooftop and you internally freak out on Sebastian’s behalf even as he starts flicking his tongue over your clit.  However, Chris just rolls onto his back and wriggles up between Sebastian’s legs, taking his cock into his mouth.

You moan.  Partially at the sensation of Sebastian’s tongue drawing shapes over your clit, making a hot tingle spread through your cunt.  Partly it’s watching Chris, between Sebastian’s legs.  Chris is stroking his own cock and both men start to moan, deep and low.  Your hands grip tight to the edge of the deck chair and you arch up in pleasure.

Sebastian’s fingers enter you.  He spreads them and thrusts them in and out before curling them and stroking them over your internal walls.  He sucks on your clit and moans, sending a faint vibration through you that intensifies the buzz already swirling through you.

The feeling of Sebastian’s mouth on you and his fingers working inside you, mixed with the sounds you all make, send you over.  You come, gripping to the sides of the chair, your hips bucking up into the air.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…”  You chant as it rushes through you.

Sebastian keeps licking you through your orgasm before crawling down to Chris.  Chris sits up and Sebastian straddles his lap.  They kiss and stroke each other’s cocks against one another’s.  Occasionally whispering something in the other’s ear.

You slide back down the deck chain into a more comfortable position.  You spread your legs and lazily finger yourself as you watch them.  Chris turns back to look at you and smiles.

“What are you two whispering about.”  You ask.

“Just deciding who gets to go first,”  Chris smirks.

You kick him in the back and he starts laughing.  “Well, I guess that decides it.  Seb?”

Sebastian gets up and gestures to you.  “Have at it.”  He says.

You squeal and jump up to run, but Chris catches you before you even get anywhere.  He pulls you down, so you’re straddling his lap, back pressed against his chest.  You grind your ass into his erection.

He lifts you and slowly lowers you down onto his cock.  His arms wrap around your waist and he kisses your throat.  You start to bounce on his dick.  His fingers go to your clit.  You both moan.  The feeling of him filling you, stretching you out as he flicks his fingers over your clit, sends small jolts through you.

Sebastian stands looking down at the both of you stroking his cock.  You gesture to him to step forward and take his cock into your mouth.

Chris leans forward and grips Sebastian’s ass.  He sucks with you.  You take turns.  One making way for the other.  You kiss over his length.  You angle yourselves so that you’ll be deep throating him as Chris sucks at his balls.  All the while you ride Chris.  Bouncing on his cock.  His fingers pinching at your clit.

The noises the three of you make are loud and primal.  Sweat slicks your skin.  Sebastian’s hands go to both yours and Chris’ hair and each time he tugs you both growl around his cock.

Sebastian comes first.  He lets out a warning.  “Fuck… fuck I’m gonna come.”

Chris takes him deep into the back of his throat as you tongue at his balls.  He grunts and spills.  Chris swallowing it all.

When his cock stills, Chris releases him and Sebastian drops to his knees and starts licking a trail from Chris’ balls to your clit.  You keep rocking your hips as you completely lose control of all of your other senses.  Your legs shake and your core tightens.  Chris holds you against his chest.  He bites into your shoulder and you come explosively.  You cry out something that might be cursing but might be just an incoherent noise.

Your orgasm seems to push Chris over too.  He slams up into your and growls.  Emptying inside of you.  His arms pulling tight around you.  His teeth pressing into your shoulder.  You both sit, panting.  Your muscles feel like jelly and you glance down at Sebastian and watch as he licks the mixture of yours and Chris’ fluids as they seep down Chris’ cock.  He smiles up at you.

Chris slips from within you and collapses back onto the deck chair.  You sit on his legs and watch as Sebastian gathers up everyone’s clothes and starts pulling his boxers back on.

“Do you think they heard us down in the street?”  You ask.

Chris laughs.  “Probably.”

“So the whole ‘low key’ is starting off well.”  You tease.

Sebastian throws your t-shirt at your head and you all burst into laughter.


	16. The Best at Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian wants to try new things.

Where there had once been jealousy now you just felt love and contentment.  In the past when Chris and Sebastian had started exploring their sexuality together it had worried you.  It had worried you that they would realize that they were actually straight and trying to force something that wasn’t them and that the whole relationship would crumble down around you.  More though, it had worried you that they’d realize they were actually gay and you were some kind of stepping stone into actually being in a relationship together.

That was before.  Back then you never spoke.  You rushed.  You rushed into the sex. You rushed into the relationship.  You even rushed the breakup.

Now it seemed to be completely different.  The way you talked.  The way you behaved in public. The way you were there for each other.  Your whole relationship dynamic. It was stronger and better.  You were no longer the girl with the two boyfriends.  You were a family unit.

So now that Chris and Sebastian were exploring their own sexual dynamic it was exciting.  Not to mention sexy as hell.  Walking in on them pressed against the wall kissing furiously was like being an extra in a porn two times outta three.  They’d drag you over to them and suddenly you were all just a sweaty mess of limbs going at it.  You loved when they both fucked you.  But you also loved when Chris was inside you and Sebastian was inside him.  You loved watching Sebastian suck Chris’ cock while Chris ate you out.  You loved tag teaming oral sex on one of them with the other.  You loved sitting beside Chris stroking his cock while Sebastian fucked him.

The three of you had done all kinds of positions and variations on a theme.  One thing that still hadn’t happened was, Chris had never been the top to Sebastian.  They’d been really gradually working up to it.  Sebastian wanted it, but his nerves about the whole situation were huge.  You’d both kept reassuring him he didn’t have to.  Chris would make the rather charming statements like; ‘Don’t worry about it man, it’s not like I don’t have quite a few places I’m allowed to stick it.’  Then he’d look at you and quirk his eyebrow and you’d punch him in the arm.

Sebastian did want it though.  So lately for Seb, butt stuff had been on the menu quite regularly.  Both you and Chris had now gone through quite the list of things.  You’d both fingered him, eaten his ass, used plugs. You had even put on a strapon and fucked him with a long thin dildo.  All in the long build-up to him taking Chris.

So now here you all were in bed.  Sebastian on his hands and knees hugging you around the waist while Chris was on his knees behind him.

Chris had lubed up his hand and was slowly circling Sebastian’s asshole with his finger.  He slips it inside just to the first knuckle and Sebastian jerks forward.

Chris pulls his hand away.  “It was my finger, Seb.   You’ve had my finger in there before.”  He laughs.

Sebastian shifts back towards Chris.  “Sorry.  I just keep thinking about how big your dick is.”

Chris loses it laughing, grabbing his pec.  “That’s really flattering, Seb.  But I keep telling you, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want.”

Sebastian whines and looks up at you.  “It’s gonna hurt isn’t it.”

You smirk at him.  “Yeah, it is.”  You tease.  “But at least you have the whole prostate thing going on.  So either nope out or stop being a baby.  That thing is in my butt all the time.”

He whines again.  “You’re supposed to be my moral support.”

“Tough love, baby.”  You shout.

Chris goes back to teasing Sebastian’s asshole but he looks at you.  “I’ll kick you out of this bedroom.”  He taunts.

You lean over Sebastian and kiss him.  “Yeah, yeah.”

You start playing with Sebastian’s hair and he props himself up and starts kissing you.  As you kiss, Chris pushes his finger into Sebastian’s ass.  He goes in to the second knuckle and slowly starts pushing in and out.  Seb moans against your lips and his hand goes to your waist.

Chris slowly fucks him with his finger.  Gradually going deeper, searching out Sebastian’s prostate and massaging it.  Sebastian stops kissing you, his head dropping back down into your lap.  He groans loudly and his hands clenched on your thighs.

Chris gently eases another finger inside of Sebastian’s ass.  Sebastian moans, his grip tightening on you.  You run your fingers through his hair.

“How’re ya doin’, Seb?”  Chris asks as he slowly moves his finger in and out.

“Fuck, good.  Feels good.”  Sebastian sighs.

Chris starts rubbing the tips of his fingers over Sebastian’s prostate.  He jerks forward in your lap and groans.  Chris continues to fuck Sebastian with his fingers and Sebastian falls apart.  You’ve heard these noises from him before, you’d gotten him to make them yourself more than once.  But they still affect you so strongly.  He moans and pants.  Groans and pleads with Chris.  It makes your cunt ache and your arousal seeps from you, soaking through your panties.

“Oh, fuck.  Chris…”  He groans.  “I’m gonna come.  Please.”

Chris grabs Sebastian’s hip and leans over him, swiping his tongue up his spine.  “Please, you want to?  Or please you want me to stop?”  He purrs.

“Stop.  Stop.”  Sebastian pants.

Chris eases his fingers from Sebastian’s ass and wipes his hand.  “You ready?”   He asks, liberally coating his cock with lube.

“Oh god yeah.”  He props himself back up and you lean down and kiss him.

“You look so fucking hot right now, Seb.”  You whisper.

Chris presses the head of his cock again Sebastian’s asshole and Seb jumps forward.  He slams into you causing you to make an involuntary ‘oof’ sound.

“Dude, I didn’t even do anything.”  Chris laughs.

Sebastian laughs too and moves backwards.  “Sorry.  I’m super on edge about it.”  He kisses your thigh.  “Sorry, babe.”

You shake your head.  “I’d call you a pussy, but my pussy can take Chris’ dick.  And yours.  At the same time, I might add.”

“I am giving you such a spanking, later on, smart ass,”  Sebastian says, looking up at you and biting his lip.

You shiver a little at his playful words.  “I don’t see why we both have to leave this room with a sore ass just because you’re feeling sexually adventurous.”  You counter.

Chris laughs.  It takes over his whole body and he clutches his chest.  “Okay… okay… we’re doing this.”  He pants as he gets back in control of himself.

“My knees are hurting.  I’m changing position.”  Seb says, rolling on his back.

You start giggling.  “What the fuck is even going on right now?

Chris puts his hands on Sebastian’s hips and yanks him over, so they’re pressed flushed against each other.  “Yeah, Seb.  This is serious business.”  He then grabs your ankle and drags you down next to Sebastian as you squeal.  “Now watch how I multitask.   Thus proving myself the best one here at sex.”

He slowly eases his cock into Sebastian’s ass.  Pausing when Sebastian clenches or winces.  Sebastian reaches for you and you start kissing.  It’s wet and graphic.  Your tongues circled over each other’s before beginning to explore the other’s mouth.

When Chris starts to thrust into Sebastian, he reaches over to you.  He yanks your panties down, making you yelp and before you’re even sure what’s happening his fingers are thrusting inside of you as his thumb rolls over your clit.  It sends a sudden jolt up your spine and you arch up and cry out.

It’s not long before the sounds of the three of you echo through the room.  Chris starts sweating, it drips from his brow, but he never loses focus on either you or Sebastian.  You take Seb’s cock in your hand and start pumping it in time with Chris’ fingers inside you.

Sebastian is the loudest of all of you.  He curses and chants both your names.  When he comes it’s loudly.  He cries out and arches up.  He spills hot come over his abs in thick bursts.

Chris eases out of him and wipes his cock off.  He then shifts so he’s lined up with your pussy and pulls you down onto his cock.  You cry out and he starts thrusting hard into you.  His thumb works your clit.

Sebastian rolls over and starts kissing and biting at your breasts.  You don’t last.  Your orgasm rocks through you. Your legs shake with it and you clutch at the sheets.  Chris groans and empties inside of you.

He stays kneeling in front of you for a moment his chest rising and falling rapidly.  Eventually, he slips from you and flops down right in between you and Sebastian, making you both jump back to make room for him.

“Next time we fuck, you’re both doing all the work.  I’m not even fucking kidding.  I’m fuckin’ spent.”  He pants.  He raises his hand and makes a calling over gesture. “Now go on. Tell me how I’m the best one at sex.”

“Yes, Chris.  You win.  All hail the king.”  Sebastian says.  You, on the other hand, start tickling him.

He squeals and vaults over Sebastian trying to get away.  “I’ll fucking kill you.”  He says, standing at the side of the bed hands held out defensively.

“Yeah, yeah.  Whatever you say, lord of sex.”  You get up off the bed and grab Sebastian’s hands, dragging him up after you.  “Let’s all go have a bath.  I think Sebastian earned it.”

“Hey!  I’m the one that earned it.”  Chris retorts.

You laugh and wrap your arm around his waist.  “Okay, Casanova.  I suppose you earned it too.”


	17. City of Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You, Chris and Sebastian, return to LA and weather the storm of paparazzi.

After being away for what was almost an entire year now due to breakups, filming and just holing up in Boston, returning to LA had made you realize something that had always somehow managed to escape your notice before:

LA is a real shit hole.

Yes, the weather was nice, but the way there was always a light smog clinging to the city made the stunning blue sky that was visible from just out of the city, look a little too gray.  Yes, it had Disneyland just there on our doorstep, but the fact it still took an hour and a half to get through traffic to get there made it not particularly seem that convenient.  Yes, it was where the industry was, but that just meant it was also where the paparazzi were.

You had never needed to really worry about the paps before.  There were times where you were among people who they were hounding.  They never cared about you though.  You were just a piece of furniture getting in the way of the people they wanted to take photos of.  Now… well, now they cared about you.

They hounded you every time you left the house.  Their telephoto lenses were often just pointed into the garden hoping the catch you, Sebastian, and Chris doing something scandalous enough that they can sell it and retire.  Photos of the three of you getting out of the car and walking inside, or hanging in the yard together kept appearing online.  A photo of Sebastian and Chris kissing taken through the kitchen window was up on all the gossip sites within two hours of it happening.  While Chris and Sebastian had more experience with the incessant nature of the paparazzi, neither of them had ever experienced anything like this.  It was relentless and intrusive and you had started having anxiety about breaking the deal made with Marvel about ‘not rubbing it in their faces’ just by trying to be in the relationship you were in at home behind closed doors.

It was worse going out.  If you went alone it was usually bearable.  You might get one or two following on.  So trips to the grocery store or morning runs were often done alone.  If any of you went out together, particularly if it was Chris and Sebastian you were hounded.  They didn’t just hang back and photograph you walking around either.  They followed you, often just walking ahead of you and asking you all sort of inane questions.  Wanting a reaction from you.  Any reaction.

You all did your best to weather it.  Walking together, usually in a line.  Chris at the front, Sebastian behind, smiles plastered on your faces.  Even though all any of you wanted to do was rip their cameras out of their hands and slam them into their faces repeatedly screaming, ‘how would you like it?’

“Maybe you and Seb should go back east,”  Chris says, slamming the door behind him as he comes inside with Dodger.  He smells of cigarettes and there is heavy scowl set on his face.  “You’re only here because of my work.  I’ll be doing Broadway soon anyway, so maybe if you just go to New York they’ll give us a fuckin’ break because they won’t be able to catch me and Sebastian together.”

You shift uncomfortably in the recliner and Sebastian sits up on the couch where he was lying.  “Dude, stop talking about me like I’m not here.”

“Shit, sorry.  Didn’t know you were there.”  Chris answers sheepishly.  He flops down on the couch next to Sebastian and puts his head in Sebastian’s lap.  Sebastian rakes his fingers through Chris’ hair, and down through his beard.

“What did we say before, Chris?”  You scold.  “From now on we’re in this…”

“Together.  Yeah, I know.  But it’s not permanent.  We’ll be back together soon enough.”  Chris reasons.

“We have to spend enough time apart as it is.  With all the different jobs we keep getting taking us in different directions.  We can’t let them chase off and spend even less time together.”  You say, running your hands through your own hair.  You shake your head to clear it and look over at Chris again.  “You know what Bobby and Susan say; no more than two weeks at a time.”

Chris groans and rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands.  “I know… I know.  But we can’t live like this.”

You get up and come over to him, draping yourself over his body and resting your head on his chest.  You can hear the thud of his heart beating and each time you breathe in you get the scent of the cigarette smoke that still clings to his clothes.  “We kind of have to.  As much as I fucking hate LA, and I really fucking hate LA, it’s where 90% of my work is.”  You sigh.  “They’ll get sick of you both soon.  It’s only interesting because it’s new and weird to them.  Neither of you are big enough stars to completely focus on.  Plus we’re not giving them anything, so they’re all going to realize camping out here is going to send them broke.”

“I fuckin’ hate fuckin’ LA too,”  Chris mutters, pressing his lips to the top of your head.

“Yeah, I’m not particularly a fan either,”  Sebastian adds.

“We should just be East Coast.  We can buy a house in Boston and go between it and Seb’s place in New York.”  Chris whines.  

You prop yourself up on your elbows on his chest and look down at him.  “Did you miss the bit about how 90% of my work is here?”

Chris opens his mouth and then closes it again.  Sebastian hits him in the shoulder.  “You were not just about to tell her she didn’t need to work!”  He yelps.

Chris doesn’t say anything so you hit him in the shoulder too.  “Christopher Robert Evans!”

“I caught myself!  Give me a break!”  Chris says, shielding himself.

“I can’t believe you even thought it.”  You mutter, settling back down on his chest.

There is a pause while you “You know Robert and Susan have a thing where aside from the Marvel movies they only work together?  That’s how they do the two weeks thing.  After he’s done with Iron Man they want it to be a no-weeks thing.”

You just groan.

“What?  It was just a suggestion.  What’s wrong with working for us?”  Chris asks.

You roll your eyes.  “Well, for starters, if something happened and we broke up…”

“That’s not going to happen again.”  Chris interrupts.

You roll your eyes again.  “If something happens and we break up, if all my most recent work is just working for my boyfriends it’s not going to look good and I may not work in the industry again.”  You explain.  “Secondly, Susan is a producer.  I’m a production assistant.  There is no blur between what she’s expected to do as a Producer and what she is doing because she’s Robert’s wife.  Which is a massive problem when I’m taking messages from your moms and getting you coffee.  It’s an even bigger problem when you keep telling me it’s okay, go take a nap.  Or you call me into the trailer because you want to get frisky.”

Sebastian snort laughs.

“Finally, what’s the point me working if you’re just paying me with your pooled money anyway?”  You add.

Chris quirks an eyebrow at you.  “If it’s about the money, then why work at all?  Is PA even what you want to do?”

You groan loudly and bury your face in his chest.  “Yeah, I fucking love getting you assholes frappuccinos.  Definitely why I went into the industry.”

“So what do you want to do?”  Sebastian asks, running his hands down over your shoulders and back.

“I always wanted to direct.  That’s why I always go for the jobs with the directors.”  You say quietly.  “It’s what I studied to do.”

“So why don’t you do it?”  Chris asks.

“Yes, many people invest in people who have no experience.  It happens all the time.”  You groan.

“What if we were in the movie?”  Chris asks.

You rub your face on his chest.  “Chris…”

“Why not?  Why not ask people who can help you get something for help?”  Chris presses.

“What if it works.  I get funding.  I find a script, and then I’m terrible at it and the movie sucks.  What about your careers?”  You whine.

Both Chris and Sebastian burst out laughing.  “Have you seen our filmographies?”  Sebastian wheezes.

Chris tilts your chin up to face him.  “Babe, you’re worth taking a risk on.  Find a script you like, and we’ll see what we can do.”

You take a deep breath and lean up, kissing him softly.  His hand goes to the back of your head tangling in it and holding you in place.  His tongue runs over your top lip, coaxing your mouth open and as your lips part it pushes inside and dances with yours.

He pulls back sucking at your bottom lip as he does and smiles at you.  “You’re worth taking risks on.”  He repeats.

You kiss him again, nipping at his lips when you do.  Sebastian’s hand strokes through your hair and you pull back and look up at him.  The smile on his face is so soft and makes his eyes glitter.  You lunge at him.  Kissing him hard, even as he breaks down into giggles.

“I love you both so much.”  You say as you pull back.  “Also, I kinda want to bang your brains out now.”

“Only kinda?”  Sebastian teases.

“Yeah, only kinda.”  You agree.

Chris grabs you around the waist and stands up, hoisting you over his shoulder.  “Well let’s kinda go to the bedroom and kinda do something about that.”

“Chris!”  You squeal, but you don’t struggle.  Instead, you reach out to Sebastian and grab his hand.  He gets up and follows after you.  Rubbing his nose against yours as you all make your way down the hall to the bedroom.

Chris tosses you on the bed and you land on the mattress bouncing.  You kick your shoes off and scramble up into the middle of the bed, pulling your t-shirt off and working your shorts down.  Chris goes to the curtains pulling them closed as Sebastian starts to strip off his clothes.  Chris tosses his Henley into the corner as he returns to Sebastian and pulls him into a hard kiss.

Sebastian’s hand slips into Chris’ sweatpants and he strokes his palm up and down Chris’ cock eliciting a low rumble from Chris.  Your mouth waters as you watch them and you slowly remove the last of your clothing.

They start stripping each other and your fingers go to your cunt, rolling slowly over your clit and slicking your folds with your fluids as they drip from you.  When they’re both naked they turn on you.  “Enjoying the show, princess?”  Chris growls.

“Mmm hmm.”  You squeak.

He licks his lips looking down at you with darkened eyes.  “Why don’t you and Seb put on a little show for me?”

Sebastian smiles and crawls up on the bed.   You sit up and climb into his lap, wrapping your legs around him.  The two of you start kissing.  It’s wet and graphic.  Your tongues circling each other for Chris to see.  You grind in his lap as he pinches as flicks at your nipples.  Chris watches you both, stroking himself slowly.

You guide Sebastian backward and start kissing down his body.  Grazing your teeth over his nipples and flicking your tongue down his abs.  You reach his cock and grip it in your hand.  He lets out a low whine which increases in intensity as you run your tongue up his length.  You roll his foreskin back and nip at it.  His hand tangles in your hair and he let out a strangled moan.  “Oh fuck, baby girl.”  

You start to suck.  First just concentrating on the head.  Swirling your tongue over the top and sucking hard on it.  You plunge your head down, taking him deep into the back of your throat, setting off your gag reflex and backing off to a more comfortable position.  As you suck and lick and hollow your cheeks around Sebastian’s cock you keep your eyes trained on his. He, however, can’t stay focused.  His eyes flick from you to Chris.  His head falls back and he groans, his hips jerking up.

His reactions make you wet and your cunt throb.  You rub your legs together and are rewarded by Chris’ fingers running down your crevice.  “Fuck, princess.  So needy.”  He growls.  You feel the press of his cock on your entrance and he pushes in.  Filling you and making you moan against Sebastian.

Chris starts to roll his hips into you.  Each forward thrust pushing Sebastian deeper down your throat for just a moment.  His hands roam your back and are joined by Sebastian’s.  They ghost over your back.  Squeeze your breasts.  Pull on your nipples.  Chris rolls his fingertips over your clit.  You start feeling hazy like you’re high.  Each soft touch causes an eruption of goose pimples.  Each firm one a deep moan.

They kiss above you and you reach up, holding Sebastian’s throat as you watch him suck and bite at Chris’ lips.

You start to feel your orgasm approaching.  It feels like magma in your veins pressing down in your core.  Chris’ hand runs up your back and through your hair before gripping at the base of Sebastian’s cock.  It jumps in your mouth and he jerks forward suddenly, spilling in hot ribbons over your tongue and down your throat.

You moan as you swallow him down.  Chris picks up speed, pounding into you.  You release Sebastian from your mouth and cry out as your orgasm rocks through you, every muscle spasming with it.

Chris growls and bites down into your shoulder as your orgasm brings drags him along with it, and he releases inside of you.

When his cock stills and the last waves of your orgasm shudder through you, you collapse face down on the bed.  “I’m dead.”  You groan.  “You killed me.”

“That’s a shame,”  Sebastian says, kissing your shoulder and getting out of bed.  “You wanna have a shower?”

“Yeah, I will,”  Chris says.

“Can’t.  Dead.”  You murmur.

Sebastian laughs and heads to the bathroom.  “Well alright.  You have fun with that.”

“You know where we’ll be,”  Chris says.

You wave your hand around.  “Yeah, I’ll be there in a second.”

Chris slaps your ass.  “Hey, when you look for scripts, go for things that can be filmed East Coast.”

You laugh.  “Yeah… wouldn’t want to make them in this hell hole anyway.”


	18. Work/Home balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wrap the filming of the film where you’re making your directorial debut. The after party gets a little wild and an admission is made to Chris and Sebastian

Three years.  Three years of pawing through scripts for the perfect one, finding backers, sitting through casting.  Read-throughs.  Costume designs.  All the things that go to making a film, and here you are watching the last take of the last scene getting filmed.  Watching as the actors performed the scene as you had told them.

A fair bit had happened in those three years.  The Infinity Wars movies had come out.  Your relationship with Chris and Sebastian had stopped being the most interesting thing in the planet to the gossip sites.  Chris had dialed back on his work and now only did smaller more independent films.  He’d done his run on Broadway.  He was enjoying working at his own pace and spending time with family.

Sebastian had been continuing working hard.  The three of you had spent a lot of time between Boston and New York when you had free time.  But a lot of your time was spent traveling for one of your jobs.  It was important to the three of you that you saw each other regularly.  With time apart, being no longer than two weeks.  It was hard with three people who had jobs that dragged them around the world, but you’d been determined and you were in love.  So you made the effort.

Overall this time, along with your usual running around getting coffees and helping out directors, you worked tirelessly at getting your film off the ground.  You read script after script.  When you found the perfect one, with a story that spoke to you and wouldn’t require a budget of millions, you submitted it to backers.  It was the Downeys who had said they’d make it in the end.  The fact Susan and Robert had put so much trust in you made you swell with pride.  So many people had faith in you, despite what people said about you on the internet.  You sometimes weren’t sure what you’d done to deserve it.

Now here you are at the culmination of your work.  The final scene being shot.  The two loves of your life acting against a man who had put so much faith in you he’d backed it with both his name and money.  Excitement, pride and a little touch of fear swirl through you and rest in your stomach making you feel slightly queasy.

“Cut!  And that’s a wrap, people!”  You call out, as the scene came to an end.  There’s a round of applause from all the cast and crew.  You move towards Chris and Sebastian but on the way, you’re waylaid by both Robert and Susan.  “Round of applause to our debut director!”  Robert cheers.  “We think she’s done a phenomenal job, and can’t wait to see how the final cut looks.”

“But for now, party.  The Whiskey and Saigon.  Your names are all on the door.”  Susan calls.

Robert kisses your cheek.  “Well done, you.”  He says.  You turn and hug him.

“Thank you.”  You whisper.

“No need.  I didn’t fund it.  Just made other people want to.”  He laughs.

He lets you go and you move to Chris and Sebastian who both engulf you in their arms.  “How’d we do, boss?”  Chris asks.

“Mm… so good.”  You murmur.

“You’re my favorite director,”  Sebastian whispers.

“Even better than Scorsese?”  You joke.

Sebastian and Chris both chuckle.  “Way better,”  Sebastian says.

You make your way to the party.  Your plan is to take it easy and not drink too much.  Unfortunately, when Chris brings out the tequila and shot glasses it’s all over.  You remember everyone ganging up on you during never have I ever.  Dirty dancing with Robert Downey Jr.  Letting one of the gaffers take a body shot off you.  And that’s it.  After that, there is just a black void.

You wake up tacky mouthed and with a splitting headache.  The bed is empty but at least it’s yours.  You’re in the bedroom of the house you, Chris and Sebastian bought together in Brookline.  Well, really Chris bought it, but you and Sebastian are on the deed.  It was a house bought to have a family in.   A Second Empire home built in the 1860s.  It was three stories high and had five bedrooms and a huge backyard with an old oak tree out the back.  It was already Dodger’s favorite place in the world with all its smells and things to pee on.  It was quickly becoming yours too.

Especially this morning where you can’t even remember going to bed.  You crawl out from under the covers slowly.  For a moment you just stand swaying, unsure if you’re going to throw up or not.  You manage to keep it in and grab a pair of sunglasses before heading into the bathroom.

When you’re ready to face Chris and Sebastian you head down, slippers on your feet, sunglasses shielding you from the daggers the sun seems to be omitting this morning.  Chris and Sebastian are at the large oak kitchen table eating pancakes and drinking coffee.  “Here’s our sunshine,”  Sebastian says, overly cheerily.  You make a noise somewhere between a groan and a growl.

“There’s breakfast in the oven, babe,”  Chris says.

You wave your hands making an incoherent mumble and Sebastian and Chris break down in laughter.

“Too loud.”  You groan as you pull a plate of pancakes, eggs, bacon, and sausage from the oven.

“Did you take something?”  Sebastian asks as you sit down.  You grunt at him and start slowly eating.

“This is the girl as we fell in love with her,”  Chris says, pinching your cheek.  “So alive and charming.”

You swat his hand away and shake your head.  “You were well gone before I even touched tequila around you.”  You grumble.

Chris leans over and kisses your temple.  “True.  So how’s the ol’ memory?  You were so fuckin’ wasted.”

“I remember dancing with RDJ.”  You say, furrowing your brow.

“Dancing or simulating sex?” Sebastian deadpans.

You groan again.  “Shut your dumb face.”

Sebastian loses it in a fit of giggles.

“And I remember letting Doug take a shot off me.”  You continue.

“Not just Doug.  Andy, John, Alice…”  Chris says.

You groan again.  “What else did I do?”

Chris shrugs.  “That was about the extent of it.  You got really cuddly with us.  We brought you home.”

You sigh in relief and attempt to drink some coffee.  “Oh thank god.”

“We did have a little bit of an interesting conversation on the drive home though,”  Sebastian says.

“Oh no.  What did I say?”  You whine.

Chris steals a piece of bacon from your plate and sits back in his chair chewing on it.  “You said; now that you were on the last stretch of having this movie made, you thought it was time to work on our home life.”

For a second you think your heart’s stopped beating.  It had been a thing you’d been thinking of for a while now.  Three years it had taken to get to this point.  You were committed and in love but work consistently came first.  Chris and Sebastian were edging closer to forty and Chris desperately wanted children.  After the breakup and miscarriage, you needed to be sure.  You also needed to be settled and stress-free.  Now was that time.  You just wished you hadn’t floated the idea while you were drunk.  “Did I?”

“Mm-hmm.”  Sebastian responds taking a drink of coffee.  “You said our careers were solid.  Time to bring the rest of our lives into balance.”

“Man, I’m articulate as fuck when I’m smashed.”  You muse.

Sebastian chuckles while Chris looks at you deadly serious.  “Did you mean it?  Do you want to try for a baby?”

“Umm… yeah.”  You say, dragging the word out and increasing the pitch the longer you say it.  “What do you guys think?”

Chris cups your cheek and runs his thumb over your jaw.  He doesn’t say anything for a moment, then leans in and kisses you.  It’s long and deep.  Slowly moving his lips against yours.  His thumb continues to run over your jaw.  He pulls back and looks at you, his smile soft and his eyes hooded.  “I think that I can’t wait.”

You turn and look at Sebastian.  “How about you?”

He smiles and rubs your shoulder.  “I think it’s a great idea.  We should probably talk about how we’re going to do this though.”

You chuckle.  It makes a sudden sharp pain shoot right through your eye and you rub your forehead wincing.

“Well, you see; when a mommy and a daddy and another daddy love each other very much…”  Chris jokes as if he read your mind.

“Haha.  Very funny.  You know what I mean.”  Sebastian snarks.  “What will we do about the biological stuff.  Shall we aim to have them be biologically one over the other?   Should we even find out?  Who’s going on the birth certificate?  What will the kids call me and Chris?”

“Kids?”  You say, quirking an eyebrow.

“Oh, you know it.”  Chris teases.

“I personally think we should just see what happens.  Unless there is some biological reason for them to know, like you have a medical history that is important, then I wouldn’t bother.  I personally worry if you found out for sure you might treat them differently.  And I just want them to be both your kids.  If the kid wants to know later, we can sort that out then.” You say.  “But if it’s really important what if we just go at it like bunnies to see what happens.  Then get a DNA test when they’re born?”

Chris and Sebastian look at each other.  “We may as well at least do the not worry about it bit first.  See how we feel.  It’s not like we can’t ever find out.”  Chris says with a shrug.

“Birth certificate?”  Sebastian says.

“I guess we need to look into it.  If you want to find out biology we can just list biological.  I don’t think I have to list either of you.  Or we can flip a coin and whoever gets on one the next kid can have the other?”   You suggest.   “This is a lot of heavy thinking to be doing with a massive fucking hangover by the way.”

Both Chris and Sebastian laugh.  “Just for the sake of the kids, I think at least one of us should be there,”  Chris says.  “You know, so they have legal rights to things like inheritances.”

You nod and take a huge mouthful of pancake.

“It does kinda bother me a little, to be honest.  Us both not being able to be on it.  I wonder if there is something we can do otherwise.  We should talk to a lawyer.”  Sebastian says, pinching some sausage off your plate.

“Well we can write wills and whatever I guess.  This has always been an issue for us though.  It’s not like either of you are legally able to do shit if I die or go into a coma.  Gotta trust our wills and that our families aren’t a bunch of fuck heads.”  Chris says.

Sebastian groans.  “What about their name?   Hyphenating all of our names is kinda long.”

“They could just have yours,”  Chris suggests, poking you in the arm.  “I don’t really mind if that happens.”

You smile at him.  “You’re so sweet.  Maybe it will help the legal shit if we just hyphenate both of your names.  I mean there’s never going to be any argument that the kids aren’t my kids.  Evans-Stan doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Little Brady Evans-Stan.”  Chris says, dreamily.

You and Sebastian look at each other for a moment.  “No.”  You say simultaneously.  It causes you both to break down into giggles that send daggers right into your brain.

“Ugh… stop making me laugh.”  You groan.

“Are we really doing this then?”  Sebastian asks.

Chris nods.  “Yeah, man.  We’re gonna be fuckin’ parents.”

Sebastian leans over the table and he and Chris kiss.  “Ugh get a room.”  You groan, flicking some pancake at them.  It hits Chris in the cheek and drops to the table.  Sebastian licks the syrup from Chris’ face in an exaggerated lap.

“I think we should all get a room.  Start practicing making a baby.”  Chris says, grimacing and wiping his cheek with the back of his hand.

“You guys go practice.  I’m gonna curl up on the couch and watch cartoons with Dodger.  I’m on birth control anyway, so it makes no difference if I’m there or not.”  You grumble, getting up from the table and taking your plate to the sink.

Chris chuckles and gets up after you, followed quickly by Sebastian.  “Our poor baby.  Chris says, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you on top of the head.”  Let’s all watch cartoons.

Sebastian nods, wrapping his arms around both of you.  “Sounds good to me.  We can practice the cartoon watching bit of having kids.”


	19. The Premier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the premiere of your directorial debut but the similarities to the last time you tried to walk the red carpet with Chris and Sebastian sends you into a panic

The dress is uncomfortably tight.  It pulls hard across your chest, making your breast feel constricted and pinches at your waist.  The neckline itches.  You keep scratching at it, and it’s making your skin red and irritated.  Whoever decided wearing it would be a good idea needs to be slapped.

“Stop fussing, would you.  You’d think you’d never done a public appearance before.”  Kelly says, coming in and slapping your hand away.  The dress is her idea.

She grabs some powered and runs it over the red marks your scratching has caused.  Pushing her over seems like it might be a good idea, but you decide against it.  “No, I haven’t done a public appearance.  That is exactly the issue here.”  You snap and immediately regret it.  “Shit, sorry.  It’s not your fault.  I know… it’s just…”

You shake your head.  You don’t have the energy to say what it just is.  That is a story you hate telling.  You hate even thinking about it.  Yet it is exactly the reason why right now you feel tense, stressed out and nauseated.

Today you were walking the red carpet with Chris and Sebastian, and the last time you attempted doing that Chris had an anxiety attack and broke up with you.  He left you and Sebastian just when you thought you were about to get serious.  Pregnant, homeless and heartbroken.

Yet here you were again in exactly the same situation.  All the way down to the fact you were pregnant.  So even though this time maybe the stakes were different, you were already out as a polyamorous family.  Sebastian and Chris were out as bisexual.  The pregnancy was much further along, to the point you had a visible baby bump.   All those things that made this logically a completely different situation didn’t change the fact that deep down, you had that gnawing feeling that history was going to repeat itself again and you were once again going to end up homeless and alone.

Kelly waves you away.  “I think we’re done.  Don’t be nervous.  You have two extremely handsome men out there waiting to walk the red carpet with you.

You nod your head and take a deep breath before going out into the living room.  Chris and Sebastian are standing together getting fussed over by their stylists.  They look up when they see you and both smile brightly.  Sebastian is in an all black two-piece suit.  Even the shirt and tie are black.  His hair is slicked back and he’s shaved, his jawline looking like it could cut glass.  Chris is in a navy blue three-piece, a spotted pocket square counting the striped tie he’s wearing.  He also has a full beard and his hair is a little long.  They both just look amazing and once again you doubt doing this.

“You look beautiful,”  Chris says.

“Are you kidding me?  I’m a whale!”  You say exasperated.

Chris and Sebastian both break free from their stylists and come over to you, wrapping you in their arms.  “You look beautiful,”  Sebastian confirms.  Both Chris and Sebastian’s hand meets on your stomach and stroke over it.

“You’d be beautiful if you were as big as two whales,”  Chris adds with a smirk.

You shove him with a laugh.  “You’re a real jerk, you know that?”

He grins at you and runs his palm over your ass.  “You ready?  We got a movie to premiere.”

In the car, your nerves must have been obvious.  Both Chris and Sebastian put their arms around your shoulders and press their lips to the top of your head.  “It’s gonna be fine.  I know this is scary.  But we can do this.  We’re together.”

Your hands start to shake.  “This is way too familiar.”  You whisper.

Chris turns to look at you.  He cups your jaw and tilts your face up to his.  “I am so, so sorry for what I did to you.  I swear if I could go back and change it I would.  But I can’t, and I promise I will never do anything like that again.  That nearly broke me.  I promise we’re good.  And I am so excited to meet our oven roasted peanut.”  He said rubbing his palm over your stomach again.

You take a deep breath in and let it out slowly.  “I know.  I know.  But… what if they keep asking us about us?  What if they’re really personal?  What if they become really invasive and you have a panic attack and you run again?”  You say the words so fast in the hope that if you get them out quickly you won’t start crying because if you start crying it will make your eyes puffy and your makeup run and you have to go and walk the red carpet right now.

Chris frowns and kisses you softly.   “I know I’m a mess, but the thing that gives me the most anxiety is thinking about not having you and Seb around.  I can do this.  And if not, we’ll just make Seb answer all the question.”

“Hey!  What the fuck?”  Sebastian yelped.

“Okay…  okay… I know logically this is different.”   You say trying to reason with yourself.  “Come on.  It’s just a red carpet.  You can do this, you dumb bitch.”

Chris and Sebastian start laughing.  “Hey don’t call my girlfriend a dumb bitch!”  Sebastian says.

The car pulls up and you slide out of the back.  Chris and Sebastian put their arms around your waist and start to walk.  The three of you stopped at the people interviewing for E!

“So it’s a bit of a family affair this film.  The Downey’s and you three… now four I guess.  Did that make it more fun?”  The blond woman asks.

“Fun?  She’s a monster of a director.”  Chris jokes.

“Well, I wouldn’t need to be if someone would take direction”  You give back.

“You look like you’re getting close.”  She says, gesturing to your stomach.  “How much longer.”

“A couple of months to go.  We’re all very excited.”  Sebastian answers.

“And do you know who’s it is?”

The question makes you see red for a second.  Maybe you should have expected it.  You did really if you think about it.  You just wish that maybe people would be better than that.  “Well, I think it’s mine.”  You answer hoping that the fake cheer you added to your voice doesn’t sound as rage-filled as you feel right now.

The question of the night outside of the expected ones about the film is whether Chris or Sebastian was the biological father of your baby.  It was brought up again and again, phrased multiple ways and the more it was asked the more annoying it was.  The truth was you didn’t know, but it was beside the point.  The baby was all of yours.  Reducing it to biology was insulting.  Not just to the three of you, but to people who couldn’t have biological children.

So you spewed out the answers.  ‘I’ve narrowed it down to one of these two.’  ‘I’m not even sure it’s mine.’  ‘Oh I’m not pregnant, I just had a really heavy meal.’

By the time you reached the end of the red carpet you were even tenser than before.  At least Chris and Sebastian were still by your side.  At the photocall, you were standing to the side while Chris and Sebastian were photographed with the other cast members.

A hand is placed on your shoulder and you turn around to see Susan Downey.  “How are you holding up?”   She asks.

“I swear to god if one more person asks me who the father is…”  You say under your breath.

“You can see the interest.  It’s unusual.”  Susan reasons.  “You don’t have to answer them.”

“Yeah but it’s gross they ask in the first place.  They just want to paint us as weird and degenerate if we don’t know or if we do have the guy who’s not the biological father painted as the loser in the relationship.  They already count us down to break up or just talk about us like we’re complete sickos.  What is so hard to understand about love?”  You rant.

Susan hugs you.  “I think people just rarely ever have it.”  She whispers.

The reception for the movie was really positive.  You got a standing achievement at the end and people asked questions just about it and the performances.  You went to the party together feeling really good.  It didn’t last super long because even at this comfortable, boundless energy part of your pregnancy walking in heels in a constricting dress put a lot of pressure on the small of your back.

“How’re you holding up?”  Sebastian asks, coming up to you as you finished speaking to one of the film critics.

“I need a back rub.  A food rub and to sleep until this pregnancy is over.” You answer.

He kisses your cheek and looks around for Chris.  “We can go home.  I think we’ve put in a big enough appearance.”

You gather up Chris and say your goodbyes before heading back to your LA home.  You get back inside and head straight to the bedroom.

“I think they liked it,”  Chris says as he unzips your dress.  His presses his lips to the back of your neck and his hands slowly caress your skin as he pushes the dress off.

“You think?”  You ask.  As a PA you’d never been to a premiere like this before and you didn’t know how to accurately read the crowd.

Sebastian kissed your throat.  “Definitely seemed to be a positive response.  How’d you like your first red carpet?”

You groan and Sebastian leans down and flicks his tongue over your nipple.  The sound changes to a moan of pleasure.  “I hated it.”

Chris chuckled behind you.  “Welcome to the club.”   He said, as his hands wrapped around you and pushed into your panties.  His thick fingers started to draw circles over your clit.

“Guys, I really can’t stand anymore.”  You half whine.

They let you go and the three of you finish taking your clothes off before climbing into bed.  Chris grabs some lotion and starts rubbing the small of your back, kneading out the tension.

“Oh fuck.”  You groan.

Sebastian starts rubbing your feet and calves.  Soon you start to feel like a puddle of goo.  You sit up and grab Sebastian’s hand and pull him back to the bed.  He kisses you, laying on his back and guiding you so you straddle him.  You reach out to both of them and lazily start to pump their cocks.

Sebastian grabs you by the hips and positions you over his shaft you start to move back and forth over it.  Your wetness seeps from you slicking his cock.  He holds you for a moment and slowly sinks into your cunt.

Chris moves.  Going to the bedside table again as you start to ride Sebastian.  You cup Sebastian’s jaw and lean in and kiss him.  As you kiss, your tongues swirling over each other’s, Chris comes up behind you and you feel the cold squirt of lube on your ass.  You break the kiss and look back at him.

“You better be gentle.”  You say.  “And don’t crush the kid.”

“You should know by now I’m an expert at this.”  He teases.

He positions himself behind you and leans you forward a little more so your stomach presses into Sebastian, but isn’t uncomfortable.  You feel the press of his cock on your asshole and he pushes in.

“Oh fuck.”  You groan.

Chris and Sebastian start thrusting into your, moving in sync so that as Chris sinks into your, Sebastian withdraws.  Their hands roam your body rubbing your shoulders, squeezing your breasts.  They kiss your throat before moving to kiss each other.  You feel stretched and full and like every single one of your pleasure centers is being hit.

It isn’t long before you’re completely coming apart between them.  You pant and moan, and you can’t quite seem to form any words other than ‘fuck’.  Your core clenches suddenly and you come, spasming between them.

Chris follows quickly, emptying into your ass, and as you feel the pulse of his cock as he releases Sebastian comes too.

You all collapse down and lie together panting.  “Well if nothing else, this day had good sex.”  Chris jokes, kissing you both before getting up and heading to the bathroom.

The three of you get ready for bed properly and your exhaustion both physical and mental takes you almost immediately.

You wake late the next morning.  Chris is still asleep and wrapped around you but as usual, Sebastian has been up for hours, worked out and is now back, sitting beside you in bed eating risotto and drinking coffee, while he reads something on his tablet.

He smiles down at you when he sees your eyes open.  “Hey, babe.  Reviews are in.”  He says.

“And?”  You ask.

He leans over and kisses your forehead.  “Our degenerate lifestyle has been very much overshadowed by how good they think the movie is.”

You smile and close your eyes, hugging him around the waist.  “I think today is going to be a good day.”  You murmur.


	20. And Baby Makes Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re a little late, but your baby finally arrives rather dramatically.

It was official.  This baby never wanted to leave.  And who could blame it really?  With the way the paparazzi had just taken up residence outside your house.  It was frustrating and invasive and none of you had expected it in Boston.  The impending birth of Hollywood’s hottest polyamorous trio was just too big.  The prices being listed on the first baby photo were ludicrous.  You had ended up actually agreeing to release a photo on Instagram from the hospital just to make them worthless.

Well, that was the plan if the kid would ever get the hell out.  It was now a week overdue and you could only think of one thing and that was getting this baby out of you.

Sebastian and Chris were antsy too.  No one more than Chris though.  He kept asking you anytime you complained of a twinge or said you were tired or said you needed to pee, he’d ask if you thought it was time.  It was beginning to drive you crazy.  It was just lucky for him he gave amazing back rubs or you might have snapped already.

Some would argue you already had.  You were terse and easily annoyed, but considering what you wanted to do, you thought you were keeping it together pretty damn well.

Not that they weren’t doing anything to help.  You’d been told that sex would help and they’d stepped up.  If you wanted it there was always a willing participant.  They made you raspberry tea and took you to the gym so you could run somewhere without getting your photograph taken.  It didn’t help.  You were just as pregnant as before.

So you sit in the waiting room of your obstetrician hoping that she’ll have some good news for you or at least offer an induction.  When the patient before you comes out they double take and for a second you think they’re about to come over and ask Sebastian and Chris for their autographs in the middle of an obstetrics clinic.  There seemed to be the beat of three and then the doctor greeted you and the other patient turned to the receptionist to check out.

You, Chris and Sebastian get up and follow the doctor into the office and take a seat.

“They’re still refusing to come out?”  She asks sitting down opposite you.

You groan.  “Yes.  And I’m so sick of being pregnant.  I hurt everywhere.”

“Alright let’s see what’s going on.”   She says.

She starts by taking your blood pressure which is a little higher than normal but not anything to worry about.  After she’s done you climb up on the table for your pelvic exam.  The idea is to check if you were dilated at all.  What happens is your water breaks all over your obstetrician.  It’s not just a little trickle either.  It gushes, soaking the table, the floor, and your doctor.

She, Chris and Sebastian all blink at you for a moment before bursting out laughing.  “I have been an obstetrician for ten years and that is a first for me.”  She says going to clean herself up.

“Oh my god.  I am so sorry.”  You say, sitting up.  Your face feels hot and you feel the need to crawl up under a rock very, very far away from where you are now.

She laughs again, waving you off.  “It happens.”  She says.  “So I think you need to go over to the maternity ward then.  I’ll be over shortly.”

You and Chris head straight over to the hospital while Sebastian checks out.  You mostly want to go and get out of your now soaking clothes.

“That was wicked gross, babe.”  Chris laughs, his arm slung around your shoulder.  “I can’t believe that happened. I am going to tell everyone.”

“Chris,”  You whine.  “Why are you like this?”

He laughs hard his hand going to his left pec.  “You know you love me.”

“I do, but I’m questioning why.”

The nurses check you in and take you to the delivery room.  It’s impressive what money and decent insurance can buy.  You’ve stayed in hotels that weren’t as nice as this delivery room.  The bed is a hospital bed sure, and there is the usual hospital equipment.  IVs and heart rate monitors, blood pressure machines and the machine that has the Nitrous Oxide.  But the linens and good quality and pretty.  A lot of the equipment is hidden behind curtains that are more home than hospital.  There is an exercise ball and a place for incense.  A stereo with Bluetooth so you can play your favorite songs and a big screen TV.  The chairs for your support team actually look comfortable and there is a bathroom that has a large shower and a spa bath.

Sebastian arrives as the nurses are checking yours and the baby’s vital signs.  He has the overnight bag and he looks really excited.  “Has it officially started yet?”  He asks.

You shake your head.  “Not yet.”

He frowns and crouches down to speak to your stomach.  “God damn it, kid.  Get out of there, would ya?”

After you’re both cleared by the nurses you get up and stretch.  “I’m going to use that shower.  I feel gross.”  You say.

“That’s fine.  Just, dads, if you join her, put some swim trunks on.”  The nurse says before she leaves.

It’s in the shower your first contraction comes.  It’s much more painful than you had expected for the first one.  Almost like a hot poker stabbed right into your spine.  Your knees buckle for a moment and you brace your hands against the wall, whining.  Both sets of hands are on you immediately.  Holding you.  Rubbing your back.  Soothing you through the pain.  When it passes you straighten up and look at them.  “Now it’s started.”

Your labor progresses fast.  Alarmingly so.  You go from the first contraction to the transition part of your labor in less than three hours.  The pain level ramps up so fast that it’s almost unbearable.  Except that you have to because everything is happening so fast that you aren’t able to get an epidural.

You use the gas for a little while, which makes you delirious. By the time transition happens you’re hot, naked and in agony, just bent over the bed crying and cursing.  Telling them you hate them and that neither of them is allowed to touch you ever again.

They are there though.  Rubbing your back.  Feeding you ice.  Holding your hand.  Your boys never leave your side.  Yes, they laugh when you tell them they’re banned from sex.  Yes, they keep making jokes about how much of a horror show this is.  But they’re here, with you.

“Okay honey,  it’s time to push.”  Your doctor says from behind you.

“I can’t.  I can’t do this anymore.”  You whine as tears stream down your face.

“I’m afraid there’s not a lot of choice in the matter.”  She replies.

She’s right if course.  The urge to push is primal and innate.  You bear down pushing with all you have.  Holding on to Chris and Sebastian’s hands.  It feels like it takes forever, but in fact, it’s only around half an hour.  When your baby finally enters the world you collapse back into the pillows exhausted.

Only for a moment, it seems like something’s wrong.  There’s no sound.  No one tells you if it’s a boy or a girl.  Chris and Sebastian aren’t allowed to cut the cord and they both have looks of terror on their face.  The baby is taken to a table and you sit up panicked.  Your heart racing and your veins feel iced over.  “What’s wrong?”  You demand.

There is an almighty wailing in reply.  Your baby screams with all the might of its tiny lungs.  You have never been so happy to hear such an ear piercing sound before in your life.

“Everything’s fine.  Just had her airways blocked.”  Your doctor answers.

“Her?”  Sebastian asks.

“That’s right.  Meet your daughter.”  She says bringing the little form to you.

Her face is screwed up and her limbs are flailing everywhere.  You take her and hold her skin to skin against your heart and she slowly stops crying and just lies peacefully against you.

“Congratulations, mommy.”  The doctor says.

You look down at your daughter.  She has a crop of dark hair and her eyes are light.  Mostly she takes after you.  Biologically you have no idea who the father is, and seeing her now has not made it any clearer.  It doesn’t matter though.  She is the result of all three of you.  The long road that maybe wasn’t always smooth, but was always filled with love.  Both men sit perched on the bed on either side of you.  Sebastian has a hand on her back and Chris caresses her scalp with his thumb.  You look up at them and you don’t think you have ever seen two me. As in love as these two are right in this moment.  They each see you looking and take turns kissing you before kissing each other.

“Do you have a name?”  The doctor asks as she busies herself ready to deliver the placenta.

The name had taken a while to come up with.  Three people all having to agree on a name is hard.  In the end, you’d found something that seemed to placate everyone.

“Alice Willow Evans-Stan.”  You reply, looking down at your little girl.  Knowing now a whole different chapter of your lives was about to start.


End file.
